Do people just not ring each other any more, is this normal?

This. My teenager has text relationships with the two of his four grandparents who use WhatsApp. He also sees them, obviously -- he spent part of yesterday afternoon trying to teach them how to play table tennis, with predictable results given that they're in their eighties and have a hip replacement apiece. But it's another now-stress way of keeping in contact.

I like a chat on the phone, but only if I'm not doing anything else, and therein lies the issue with the phone - the timing may be convenient for one person but chances are it isn't for the other.

The only people who phone me now are my parents, aunt and sister - and I know when they do that I'll be stuck on the phone for a minimum of 20 minutes and often it will be an hour or more. I love them and I really value our chats, but if I'm being honest it's a PITA having to drop everything to chat when I'm busy doing something else.

With friends, I use WhatsApp and we arrange to meet and chat in person at a mutually convenient time, which is perfect. And that's what's great about text - you can reply when convenient.

My workplace skews older and there's a big culture war between the over 50s and under 40s.

It's a large hybrid workplace, and the older crew are very keen on calling people up because in their rationale, it's no different than walking by someone's desk.

The younger cohort are very keen on calendar blocking focus time and tasks as well as meetings. They (we) get very petulant when that focus time is ignored.

No, people don’t value phone calls. They aren’t human contact. Human contact is meeting up in person. I do loads of that.

You understand you can ignore those pings until it’s convenient though? Or switch them off?
Friendships aren't an interruption. Phone calls are.

I do that in person. Text s less intrusive into everyone’s lives. It’s not isolating because I see people in person a lot. Much better than a phone call.
Also I’m 61. I had my first mobile at 31 or 2 and was a late adopter so texting has been a thing for about half my life so I dispute your point in the OP

That was a shitty reply, OP. Have you considered that some older people will be less isolated due to the prevalence of instant messaging? I can message my grandparents whilst I'm at work, but I can't hold a long phone call. So whilst I'm at work, it's a choice between no contact or text contact. If I only contacted them at times that I'm free for a phone call, it'd be much less frequent.

Yes that is understandable. I don't know why some posters think it's weird or unusual for other people to not want to spend time talking on the phone. We're all different.

Also, I actually don't mind voicenotes, but only if they are up to 2 minutes long. I don't think they need to be any longer. Although I have to say, I have never received a voicenote that is 10 minutes long as several posters on here have. That is a bit long!

Erm, do you really think I am unaware of letters and telegrams?
The possibility of instant and continuous texting, which is something that is connected to the smartphone, is what I was commenting on.

I was trying to gently remind people of the miracle of being able to hear the actual voice of a friend. To me the beauty and wonder of this is something we have lost sight of, caught in a world where people are constantly texting or updating social media- a world where people feel uncomfortable actually speaking to their friends (whether in person or on the phone).

Voicenotes are the worst.

I make no apologies for saying that anyone who uses them needs to step back and take a long hard look at whether they want to be that person.

Just awful.

I’m 72 and hate talking on the phone . It’s texting all the way for me . I even avoid asking my younger brother how his ill wife is , because if I send him a text he immediately phones me back and is on the phone for ages . I hate it and wish he would send me a text or even an e mail instead. I also don’t do social media except for Mumsnet .

I text my fiends to tell them if I am going to call them - so they don't think it's bad news...

Voice notes are awful. I haven’t the time or the inclination to listen to a self-absorbed monologue for ten minutes. Either phone me, so we can talk about whatever it is properly, WhatsApp me or just keep it to yourself. Such an intrusion on time.

I don’t like talking on my mobile phone - it’s not a comfortable shape to hold against my face. DH has done away with our landline and our wonderfully comfortable house phone. Three years on and I am still cross about it.

I was just addressing your point about compromise, that’s all. You said people need to compromise and I said I don’t believe that’s the case for me as all of my friends and family appear to be on the same page 🤷🏻‍♀️. Apart from that it’s irrelevant to me what your personal preference is, as I don’t know you.

Off course I have spoken to them about this.

Doesn't change the fact I find it annoying that people prefer texting to a phone call.

This is really no different to you not liking talking on the phone. I prefer it. That is all this is. Preferences. As I do communicate with my family. We have a middle ground and they try to call a bit more than they prefer and I try to text/WhatsApp a bit more than I prefer.

Thankfully we are all on agreement of a dislike of voicenotes

When I had a BF I didn’t live with we chatted for hours on the phone too. But that was back when I lived alone, I finished work and my time was my own. Now I get home, pick the 3 kids up from wraparound care, walk into the house, cook dinner, ferry kids around to their hobbies, get home and help with homework, make sure uniform/sports kit etc is ready for the next day, clean the kitchen, put the kids to bed, shower and then go to bed ready to start it all again at 6am the next day. Far easier to quickly reply to a message or two than have a telephone conversation.
ETA I do get a quick 5 min chat (face to face) with my DH in there somewhere!

I agree with you! I talk on the phone a lot to people. My BF and me can chat for hours.

The only person I speak to on the phone is my mother. I don’t call anyone else beyond 10 second conveying info - for example, “I’m in the shop, do you want anything?”

I don’t have the time, energy or inclination to spend ages on the phone.

I hate talking on the phone. I think a lot of people do otherwise texts and messaging wouldn't be so popular.

I have a friend who is very demanding of my time. I no longer answer the phone to her. She will talk for 2-3hours and more if she can, about herself. I have to forcibly end every phone call to the point that it becomes unpleasant.

She doesn't care that I have other things to do and will ignore me when I say I need to end the call. Last time we spoke she ended up crying because I wanted to go and make dinner after giving her 3 hours of my time.

It didn't matter how long I gave her it was never enough. Awful.

Have you spoken to your family about this issue?
All my friends and family message rather than phone, even my 91 year old grandmother (in addition I visit her once a week). It’s not the case that people are ringing me and I’m ignoring them, so I don’t think there’s anything I need to compromise on. It appears we’re all on the same page. If you want your family to meet you half way you probably need to have a discussion with them about it.

Not allways though and if thats the case you usually get a follow up text stating this.

I think its important to acknowledge that simply because we dislike something it doesn't mean we should always be able to avoid it. Im not here talking all the time and as I stated I do use text and WhatsApp. However some conversations are better as conversations where you can hear the persons reaction.

If we go with "I dislike phone calls" who "wins" when you communicate with someone who "dislikes texting and WhatsApp?" Neither can and its important both gives a bit and both goes out of their comfort zone and it becomes more of a 50/50 situation.

I hate the phone although would spend hours on it as a teenager, until we had internet over a dial up 😂

I’m so glad it’s not just me. I can’t stand people phoning me. I’m busy. It may be convenient for them, but it’s not for me. I WFH and no, I can’t just answer during the day.

I know it may make me seem stroppy and intolerant. I can’t deal with people downloading their day to me. 🤣

Sadly messaging seems to have become the norm. I used to ring my mum several times a week, she was in her mid 80s and couldn’t get the hang of texts, I also rang my eldest sister a couple of times a month and really valued the ability to offload to her. Since mum died though, the calls seemed to have stopped, not sure why , just my sister now seems to use WhatsApp rather than ringing, but it’s really not the same, I’d welcome a return to conversation but it no longer seems to be the way

I chat to some friends I don't see often as they live miles away on the phone, I really enjoy it. We plan on advance and have a wine while we catch up for about 45mins/an hour. I hate chatty messages on WhatsApp, I prefer to use messages for logistics but chat in person or on the phone. I get harassed on teams and email all day at work and chatty messages on WhatsApp just feel like more of that to me. I'm 37.