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Original poster

Do people just not ring each other any more, is this normal?

364 replies

Gurolou · 08/02/2026 20:52

All my friends want to text or WhatsApp, it seems to be a thing, I hate it. We are all in our forties and fifties so texting wasn't even a thing for most of our lives. Is this really the same for everyone and just how things are? Because I actually hate texts and WhatsApp it just feels like stuff piling on top of me, and I miss talking to people.

OP posts:
Original poster
Gurolou · 08/02/2026 22:03

Why?

OP posts:
Minniliscious · 08/02/2026 22:03

Fucking hate speaking on the phone. That’s all.

DistractMe · 08/02/2026 22:01

Gurolou · 08/02/2026 21:53

Voice notes are digital onanism.

I'm with you there.

Gurolou · 08/02/2026 22:01

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godmum56 · 08/02/2026 22:01

Gurolou · 08/02/2026 21:59

Do they actively prefer them or is it just the new shiny default? Don't underestimate how much tech fucks with your head. It's designed to do so.

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I actively prefer it.

GalaxyJam · 08/02/2026 22:00

Gurolou · 08/02/2026 21:59

Do they actively prefer them or is it just the new shiny default? Don't underestimate how much tech fucks with your head. It's designed to do so.

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I actively prefer it.

Zov · 08/02/2026 21:59

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weareallcats · 08/02/2026 21:59

I loathe voice notes! A colleague, who is dyslexic, uses them (I forgive her, as I know texting is tough) and my sister, who I don’t forgive - you can hear her pottering in the background during her monologue. You also have to make sure you can listen without eavesdroppers (I’m guessing air pods might help with this, but I don’t use them).

Original poster
Gurolou · 08/02/2026 21:59

GalaxyJam · 08/02/2026 21:57

But if the majority of people actively prefer those methods of communication, then where’s the issue? I can still choose to telephone people, but I don’t, because I prefer not to.

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Do they actively prefer them or is it just the new shiny default? Don't underestimate how much tech fucks with your head. It's designed to do so.

OP posts:
Original poster
Gurolou · 08/02/2026 21:57

Even Grandma had it for the last couple of years of her life though despite my lessons she never learned how to use it.

What a shame that she missed out on family connection during her final years. I wonder if her family could have done something about that.

OP posts:
GalaxyJam · 08/02/2026 21:57

Gurolou · 08/02/2026 21:55

Those men are shaping how we communicate with each other and normalising asocial behaviour.

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But if the majority of people actively prefer those methods of communication, then where’s the issue? I can still choose to telephone people, but I don’t, because I prefer not to.

Original poster
Gurolou · 08/02/2026 21:55

soupyspoon · 08/02/2026 21:51

I think you'll find that those type of men do absolutely talk to people, talk AT people, they have no boundaries or embarrassment at wittering on for ages, boring people to death. Not sure that is the right example to give

I like messages and talking to people in person.

I also would absolutely hate as per above someone talking to me while driving, pottering around, walking the dog. I dont want to hear a load of external noise or inevetable interruptions, I think thats really rude.

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Those men are shaping how we communicate with each other and normalising asocial behaviour.

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ToadRage · 08/02/2026 21:55

I hardly ever call anyone. My Grandmother used to drive me mad asking me to call her. I tried to explain that it's not personal, i can go weeks without speaking to my own Mum, but the 'i never call anyone' excuse didn't wash because she thought she was special and my brother called her every week religiously. I have never been very good with phones and texting was a godsend to me. My whole family is on WhatsApp now. Even Grandma had it for the last couple of years of her life though despite my lessons she never learned how to use it.

LilyLemonade · 08/02/2026 21:54

I have one single solitary friend who still calls me spontaneously. I call her too. Sometimes we chat for 15 minutes, sometimes longer. I really love it. I wish more people would do it. I don't live in the same country as many of my friends so I do need to actually call to stay properly in touch. Some of them still pick up the phone if I call spontaneously but no one ever calls me. I don't find it an intrusion or inconvenience. If it's not a good time you can just not pick up the phone, or you can answer it, say hello and explain why now isn't good. I desperately miss the ringing phone of my youth. Sometimes I just feel like a chat with someone but you can't do it nowadays and it makes me feel lonely.

GalaxyJam · 08/02/2026 21:54

Pepperedpickles · 08/02/2026 21:52

This. It actually feels like a really selfish thing to do to me to send a voice note. It takes up so much time to listen to all the rambling on. I could read a text in half the time.

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They’re a pain in the arse. I speed them up to 1.5x, but they’re still a pain.

Original poster
Gurolou · 08/02/2026 21:53

Voice notes are digital onanism.

OP posts:
Pepperedpickles · 08/02/2026 21:52

ColdAsAWitches · 08/02/2026 21:49

They're only quicker and easier for the sender. They're a pain in the arse for the receiver. It takes a lot longer to listen to a message than to read one

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This. It actually feels like a really selfish thing to do to me to send a voice note. It takes up so much time to listen to all the rambling on. I could read a text in half the time.

soupyspoon · 08/02/2026 21:51

Gurolou · 08/02/2026 21:48

But we're living in a technological revolution. Human behaviour hasn't spontaneously evolved to this point - it's been driven by tech systems. Tech systems designed by poorly socialised men who can't talk to people because it "gives them anxiety".

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I think you'll find that those type of men do absolutely talk to people, talk AT people, they have no boundaries or embarrassment at wittering on for ages, boring people to death. Not sure that is the right example to give

I like messages and talking to people in person.

I also would absolutely hate as per above someone talking to me while driving, pottering around, walking the dog. I dont want to hear a load of external noise or inevetable interruptions, I think thats really rude.

godmum56 · 08/02/2026 21:51

SeaShellsSanctuary1 · 08/02/2026 21:40

If you are 50 messaging has been around for more than half your life.

I can't stand phone calls as they feel intrusive now. Messages can be answered at the convenience of the recipient unlike a call which is at the convenience of the caller often without consideration of the recipient.

In fact, I rarely answer my phone at the time of a call.

Edited

this for me too. I text chat with my sibling every day....I will send her a pic then and there of how my garden is doing, a link to the Seasalt jumper I am thinking of buying, she will see something in a shop and message me with a pic asking if I want it.....best one EVER was when she messaged me from Macy's NY because I had been looking for a winter cloche style hat and she had found one in their sale. She was on a group tour at the time and they would meet up and chat and show their purchases at the end of the day and the rest of the tour thought she was crazy because she had messaged me from the middle of Macys. PS I am early 70'd and she is older.

weareallcats · 08/02/2026 21:50

Papyrophile · 08/02/2026 21:46

In work mode, it is far better to dial someone who will be able to solve the problem you are calling about direct. They will answer, you state your issue and they say do this/that/kick here/ or we can be down in x time. Talking is the quickest start to a workable solution. Business wastes hundreds of hours as everyone composes email messages.

I was about to write that I think part of the reason I dislike social calls is because it makes me think of work! That said, internally I would always leave my desk to go and speak to people if I could and this has resulted in a better relationship than most with a colleague who is known to be tricky.

ColdAsAWitches · 08/02/2026 21:49

openingact · 08/02/2026 20:57

I do voice notes on WhatsApp with all my friends. Quicker and easier than texting as you don’t have to type, kind of like a phone call but you can fit little activities in between if you want and have a little bit of time to think of best reply.

They're only quicker and easier for the sender. They're a pain in the arse for the receiver. It takes a lot longer to listen to a message than to read one

TwistedWonder · 08/02/2026 21:49

weareallcats · 08/02/2026 21:47

In person = human connection with all the body language, eye contact, etc.

Writing - time to be considered in your responses.

The phone has neither of those things and suffers for it imo.

Totally agree

Original poster
Gurolou · 08/02/2026 21:48

ShawnaMacallister · 08/02/2026 21:38

Because social norms and human behaviour evolve? We are on an ever changing path of social evolution towards what we don't know, but you can't argue with change, it happens anyway. You're coming across a bit old man yelling at clouds TBH

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But we're living in a technological revolution. Human behaviour hasn't spontaneously evolved to this point - it's been driven by tech systems. Tech systems designed by poorly socialised men who can't talk to people because it "gives them anxiety".

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Wishitsnows · 08/02/2026 21:48

I really miss people just randomly phoning

storminabuttercup · 08/02/2026 21:47

I’m mid 40’s, I’ve spent half my career in a call centre plugged into a headset the other half on conference calls I spend about 6 hours a day on teams calls, I don’t want to talk on the phone after that. Some local takeaways don’t do online ordering, if I’m all phoned out I’ll choose one that does. I’ll happily talk on the phone to a friend if they need me but it’s rare