To ask for examples of the worst behaviour you've seen from an adult at a wedding?

As in you consume faeces? How did he segue into that? What was he hoping to gain by saying that?

Perhaps this poster recognises her/himself in some of these stories. @CurlyhairedAssassin have you been shagging in the disabled loos? Popped your buttered penis in a bread roll? Please share.

This is the second time in this thread that you have tried to excuse away bad behaviour with a whole host of made up scenarios. You did it about the very first post 'maybe she had anxiety' and you're doing it again now. Why?

My older sister had four bridesmaids: me, a school friend and two youngsters she babysat. School friend, being older than the rest of us by ten years was convinced she was chief bridesmaid. Luckily I was prepared and, although not usually one to stand up for myself I did on this occasion.

She wanted to walk into the church directly behind my sister; I put her at the back. She tried to take the flowers off me to give to my sister on the way out of the church so she'd be in front and walk with the best man; I refused to let go of them. She later told the best man she was having the first dance with him but was, once again, put in her place. Strangely, on the very occasional time I've seen her since she's treated me like her long-lost best friend.

The worst was my sister's behaviour at a friend's wedding. She was married by this point, and hadn't asked this friend to be her bridesmaid, but was still most put out that I was bridesmaid and not her. Couldn't cope with not being the centre of attention, and hated the fact that I was in the wedding party. So she decided to tell our parents during the reception that she had been raped in the past. This meant that I was then left inside whilst my parents and her husband spent the evening consoling her. Awful timing to make such an announcement, but she later admitted she'd lied about it because she was jealous I was getting attention.

Those who don’t believe the penis in roll story… I’ve been to enough military and rugby events with young men to know this sort of behaviour can be quite common place. Not acceptable. But not unbelievable.

To the poster with the twins and others…I too am not without sin. At my sisters wedding I got absolutely hammered (first night out and alcohol since dd was born- she was 10 months old and staying with grandparents).

It was a Catholic wedding as his family were and the priest attended the reception. Apparently I was talking very loudly about theology and my problems with the Catholic Church (women, abortion, homophobia etc) while the priest and all the elderly catholic relatives were on next table.

The next day everyone asked if I felt alright 🫣.

My sister found it funny, holds no grudges.

The butter and bridge roll may have been to make his todger interesting then.

This is one of the things I just don't get about men. They are so fascinated by their penises.

They really are not that interesting. And roughly half of the population have them. No-one else cares.

When I say 'moved away' she left and haven't seen her since then

Of course it is horrifying. And it crosses soo many different kinds of lines.

It‘s just so incredibly bad that it seems like a scene from a supposedly funny „comedy“. Hangover-type behaviour…

(offering the penis to touch or „just“ to look at? I didn’t quite get that touch was „on the table“ as well… but offering to look at would be more than worse enough alteady!)

PumpkinsAndCoconuts · Today 08:39
FlappyThing · 08/02/2026 21:05
Friend of the groom whipped his penis out, put it in a bread roll, buttered it and went round the tables offering it to old ladies.
Whaaaat??? Oh my! That’s comically bad. And horrifying.

I think it's horrifying. I'm sorry - I just think it crosses a line. Par for the course amongst horrible blokes in their own little bubble, but when a man starts exposing himself to women (esp elderly ones, and I expect there were children about) that is not funny in my book. It's indecent exposure, lewd behaviour and verging on a sexual assault.

Sorry - but this one really makes me angry. People stripping off is one thing - but he was actually offering a penis to strangers to touch...eeuuww. Seriously gross, perverted and borderline crimina.

I sent the link to this thread to DH last night.
He's still sitting in the corner sobbing and shaking😂

Seriously though this was one of two ideas we had to utilise land and outbuildings, the other idea being his but I think I was having romantic ideas of this beautiful setting being perfect for a wedding - which it is - and I won the conversation!!
However I am now reverting to the other plan. Must go and tell him and rescue him from his fear filled state.

Before my vows my sister did a little hand tie ceremony with me (bride) and groom. She’d given our dad her phone to video it. There was a miscommunication where she’d already clicked the record button but he didn’t understand and so he clicked it again, turning record off. When she got back to sit beside him she realised it hadn’t recorded and the two started bickering during my vows. At first I tried to ignore it but they kept going on! So I slightly turned and shushed them. Even register looked at them.
Sister apologised afterwards but dad didn’t as he probably didn’t realise that’s not how you behave.
It’s irritating to have that memory as the rest of the day was good. It was just a small ceremony of less than 20. If I were to marry again I’d just elope.
My husband doesn’t remember it. My mum when she brought it up just remembers it as a funny story about them miscommunicating over tech and doesn’t realise it was an issue for me.

Sadly not I’m old now and after a few glasses I’m in bed by 10

FFS give it a rest now . I’m sure the poster telling this story was quite aware she wasn’t covering herself in glory, and actually it was a brave thing to post.

My dad told everyone in his speech I ate shit. Now he’s shocked I won’t have anything to do with him.

To be fair, the bizarre sidetracking by a woman taking a dislike to another woman (just from a story on a forum!) is funny in its own way.

It wasn’t funny no , needless to say .
It was a long time ago now , & thankfully it never affected my relationship with anyone involved .
I’m still friends with Ex Sil , we don’t laugh about it obviously.
It’s just never brought up .

I suppose I didn’t expect lots of snidy remarks such as yours , “ still we all have different standards “ , when I wrote in ..
I guess that’s just your personality, you can’t help being you 🤷🏻‍♀️

Before my time, but a local reluctant groom at a shotgun wedding, opened his speech with: “I’d like to thank you all for coming to this tragic affair.”

Yes. He left after the meal.

Had he made his speech by then ?

I’m sorry but I am absolutely howling with laughter. I can’t believe they baptised him!!! 😂😂😂😂😂.

This is the best one for me. Brilliant!

Give it a rest FFS

We all knew him. It was totally in character. He just didn't fancy it. He was renowned in the family for being miserable. But no one thought he would actually dip out of his daughter's wedding like that.

Thank you!
Well we’ve all done daft things but the last thing anyone needs is someone trying to shame them 24 years later!
Id love to know about these people’s blameless lives. Or maybe I wouldn’t? If we want fiction we can pick up a book or watch the soaps.

Sorry, was it supposed to a funny story? Less funny for the bride I suppose…unless the rest of the story is how she laughs uproariously every time the story is retold and how it made her day! Not sure how anyone could be described as ‘miserable’ for finding this story anything but cringeworthy 🤷🏼‍♀️ still, we all have different standards I suppose….