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AIBU?

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Regret causing a scene in Aldi

311 replies

Liiz92 · 08/02/2026 16:51

I went to Aldi earlier. While I was scanning an item at the self checkout, the price was more expensive than the price on the sticker on the shelf. I asked the assistant if I could quickly go back to swap it. I was away for only about 2 minutes.

When I came back to the till, there was a man arguing with the assistant, saying she had to remove my items so he could use the till. I explained that the items were mine and that I had just gone back to swap something. He started shouting at me, saying I had “jumped the queue” and that I shouldn’t go to the till until I had finished my shopping.

I stayed quiet for a few moments. When he was in the queue, I approached him and pointed my finger, saying, “don’t fucking speak to me like that again, or at any woman.” He shouted at me in response, telling me not to point my finger or swear at him. I said, “You’ve chosen the wrong person to be rude to,” and went back to DD.

We finished paying at the same time, and he was walking close behind me, looking at me. I said, “I didn’t appreciate you shouting at me in front of my child.” He then said, “I’ll see you here at 4pm next Sunday.” I said I wasn't from the area so no chance and continued walking to my car.

As time has passed, I regret my actions and wish I had just stayed quiet.

OP posts:
MassiveWordSalad · 08/02/2026 17:49

dailyconniptions · 08/02/2026 17:47

Swearing and being aggressive in front of your child over one misunderstanding was just appalling.

Standing up to a bullying man in front of your daughter may show her that women shouldn’t quietly put up with this shit.

JaquelineHide · 08/02/2026 17:49

I don't think you were the one who caused the scene, OP. He sounds like a dickhead.

Growlybear83 · 08/02/2026 17:49

Rasperry · 08/02/2026 17:39

I really don’t see how she made an area of herself, she was antagonised and didn’t sit there and take it.

I think she made a complete fool of herself. When shops are busy, it’s really irritating when someone wanders off to either exchange something or get something they’ve forgotten. The OP hasn’t given any indication of how long she was gone for and it’s understandable that the man was annoyed. Of course he shouldn’t have been as rude as he was, but the OP outdid him in the rudeness stakes massively. She behaved like a fishwife, swearing and pointing at him the way she did, especially in front of her nine year old daughter. And I fail to see why the ‘or any woman’ part of the OP’s comment was relevant. I suppose I do has to admire her total lack of self awareness telling the man that she didn’t appreciate him shouting at her in front of her child, after how she had just behaved. I bet she brightened up the day of a number of other shoppers with her ridiculous behaviour.

PussInBin20 · 08/02/2026 17:49

I think you were in the wrong and don’t blame you for regretting it. You caused the problem in the first place.

MrsPinkSky · 08/02/2026 17:49

Liiz92 · 08/02/2026 17:44

He wasn’t. His face dropped when I confronted him. He looked very surprised that I waited a few moments before speaking to him and didn't just 'leave it'. His face actually changed colour, it went pale after being red when he was shouting at me. He probably didn’t expect me to revisit the situation again. But who knows maybe he was shaking with laughter on the inside.

Nevertheless, I do think I made a total arse out of myself.

Of course he was laughing after you said about his behaviour in front of your daughter, while you're dropping an F bomb 🤣

Come on OP just smile at yourself and put it behind you now.

Not sure why you're rehashing it like this.

tinyspiny · 08/02/2026 17:48

I don’t see why so many people are saying he was wrong , it was the OP that caused the scene , she should have just ignored him and carried on with her scanning but instead she reignited the argument . I also don’t believe for one second that she said ‘ don’t fucking speak to me like that again, or at any woman.”, I totally think that the ‘or at any woman’ is an added extra on here to make it look like she is looking out for us all to garner support .

TheIceBear · 08/02/2026 17:48

I don’t think you made an arse of yourself at all, if I overheard you I would have thought good for her that man is a dick. the concern is putting yourself at risk if he did turn out to be violent.

MassiveWordSalad · 08/02/2026 17:48

shuggles · 08/02/2026 17:36

@MassiveWordSalad The point is that some men will decide to bully a woman who is not a physical threat (unlike say, a huge bodybuilder) and socialised to be “nice” because they’re cowardly misogynists.

Do you never go outside..? The overwhelming majority of anger and aggression from men is directed towards other men, not women.

A huge bodybuilder is not a physical threat, because physical assault in a public place is illegal. What a bizarre way to think. That's like something from a school playground.

The physical threat in public comes from groups of yobs who have their faces covered and who are hunched over with their hands in their pockets. Because there's a group of them and they are likely to be armed with knives. Those are the people I avoid.

Have you never seen misogyny in action? It happens a lot. A man is feeling pissed off, sees a woman doing something he disagrees with, and berates her, knowing his masculine physical presence will intimidate her. Often the woman will get upset, give a shaky apology and maybe even cry, making the bully feel all big and manly and righteous. It doesn’t make them feel as big and manly if they try it on somebody of their own sex who is bigger and could easily punch them in the face.

dailyconniptions · 08/02/2026 17:47

Swearing and being aggressive in front of your child over one misunderstanding was just appalling.

ImPamDoove · 08/02/2026 17:47

Nevertheless, I do think I made a total arse out of myself.

You did.. But hopefully, the memory of it will make you do better next time.

Grammarnut · 08/02/2026 17:47

You did the right thing. Some men are just misogynists. I had a similar thing happen at a bus station where I was dropping off a colleague. The passenger door did not shut so I could not move off swiftly but had to get out and shut it - I can't reach across the seats and my passenger was out of earshot. A man in the car behind me shouted very rudely, telling me to not be so fucking stupid and blaring his horn as though I had meant to cause him inconvenience! I pointed out I had a problem and he shouted again so I swore back at him. My passenger, who had belatedly realised the door hadn't shut came back to say sorry to me and was really supportive (also a man btw). Some men are just rude and they need treading on often.

WeatherDependant · 08/02/2026 17:45

I vote YABU , not because I disagree with you but people can be nutters - you don’t really know him and he could’ve done something awful. I’d be wary to protect my child from a lunatic rather than care about swearing-
its just not worth the risk. FWIW - i swear loads and can be confrontational but you should 100% be careful

ImPamDoove · 08/02/2026 17:45

MrsJeanLuc · 08/02/2026 17:43

Oh get down off your high horse!

@Liiz92 you stood up for yourself - that's not easy to do in the moment.
OK, so you wish you'd done it differently - so own it, learn from it, and move on. Next time you might be able to stand up for yourself without losing your rag - that's the difference between "assertive" and "aggressive".

I still think (like most of the pps here) that it was good that you stood up for yourself, that it is a positive behaviour to model for your DD, and you would have regretted it if you hadn't.

It’s not good to lose control over such nonsense and reduce herself to a sweary old fish wife who thinks she’s the Equaliser. Embarrassing.

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 08/02/2026 17:44

LakieLady · 08/02/2026 17:40

Nah, he needed telling.

I bet he wouldn't have challenged another man in the same circumstances.

His sort probably would and if the man walked back to to tell him off in the queue and then followed him out of Aldi that would have been a common cue start flinging punches or stabs. Bullies don’t start being bullies in Aldi fgs.

LaMarschallin · 08/02/2026 17:44

I thought the only supermarket where you hear fowl language is the Coop.

Liiz92 · 08/02/2026 17:44

Growlybear83 · 08/02/2026 17:38

He was probably shaking with laughter at what a total arse the OP made of herself.

He wasn’t. His face dropped when I confronted him. He looked very surprised that I waited a few moments before speaking to him and didn't just 'leave it'. His face actually changed colour, it went pale after being red when he was shouting at me. He probably didn’t expect me to revisit the situation again. But who knows maybe he was shaking with laughter on the inside.

Nevertheless, I do think I made a total arse out of myself.

OP posts:
MrsJeanLuc · 08/02/2026 17:43

ImPamDoove · 08/02/2026 17:37

Why did you go from zero to shouty aggressive loon? And what the fuck has ‘or any woman’ got to do with anything? I’m embarrassed for you. You’ve shown your daughter a terrible example of dealing with conflict and could’ve handled his reaction SO much better.

Oh get down off your high horse!

@Liiz92 you stood up for yourself - that's not easy to do in the moment.
OK, so you wish you'd done it differently - so own it, learn from it, and move on. Next time you might be able to stand up for yourself without losing your rag - that's the difference between "assertive" and "aggressive".

I still think (like most of the pps here) that it was good that you stood up for yourself, that it is a positive behaviour to model for your DD, and you would have regretted it if you hadn't.

365RubyRed · 08/02/2026 17:43

I wouldn't have sworn at him but well done for standing up to the revolting little bully.

TulipTuesday · 08/02/2026 17:43

Idleplum · 08/02/2026 17:00

You could have said “don’t speak to me like that”. But you you using fowl language and bemoaning how someone else speaks in front of your child is somewhat hypocritical and makes you look a bit stupid.

He sounds like an arse but so were you.

Surely fowl language would have been calling him a cock.

Rasperry · 08/02/2026 17:42

MrsPinkSky · 08/02/2026 17:41

He was probably shaking and heart pounding when you dared to challenge him, so well done.

That's a massive reach 🤣

Do you really think this was the guy's first rodeo and no-one in the history of the world has ever answered him back or sworn at him?

Blimey.

Not really. if he was even following op as she was leaving the shop, safe to say his feathers were ruffled.

am challenging her to a fight with 9pm in tow… scheduled a full 7 days later.

Not much of a tough guy.

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 08/02/2026 17:42

I would have let it end when the assistant sent him to the back of the queue.
There was no reason to go back, point a finger at him and swear AND then follow him out and publicly berate him some more. Especially with your daughter in tow.

He could have decided to stab you and your daughter right there outside Aldi. You wouldn’t have deserved it, but I would not brag about deliberately pushing an already irate and potentially violent man closer to the edge. It’s not something I’d ever advise doing.

MrsPinkSky · 08/02/2026 17:41

Rasperry · 08/02/2026 17:36

Don’t be silly. A swear word is just a word, he was nasty and aggressive to you and it was deserved.

He was probably shaking and heart pounding when you dared to challenge him, so well done.

Maybe next time he’ll think twice before bullying members of staff and women with their children!

Edited

He was probably shaking and heart pounding when you dared to challenge him, so well done.

That's a massive reach 🤣

Do you really think this was the guy's first rodeo and no-one in the history of the world has ever answered him back or sworn at him?

Blimey.

LakieLady · 08/02/2026 17:40

Nah, he needed telling.

I bet he wouldn't have challenged another man in the same circumstances.

TimeForATerf · 08/02/2026 17:40

“I’ll see you here at 4pm next Sunday.” I said I wasn't from the area so no chance and continued walking to my car.

I would have said “is your life that fucking sad and boring you go to the same supermarket, at the same time, on the same day, every week?”

Then flounced off. Admittedly I’m a bit feisty these days but I absolutely detest some men that speak to women like shit. He deserved what you gave him.

Why do you feel ashamed? Because you are conditioned to be nice. Don’t worry, when your hormones dry up, you won’t feel ashamed or embarrassed. There’s something quite liberating about being menopausal.

tennismae · 08/02/2026 17:40

you sound... rough