Regret causing a scene in Aldi

@rwalker I do swear. Not loads and I try to curb it but I am a swearer.
I literally had his parents evening tonight where the first words out of the teachers mouth were “I love him, he is one of the most polite children I have ever met”. So no, I wouldn’t be teaching him to shout and bawl. I would say it’s the man in OPs situation who has been taught that though. What I am teaching my son is to be polite and respect people. Also I hope I teach him not to take any shit from anyone.
If he says shit now and again, I literally do not… give a shit! He’s polite, caring, gentle and happy. Actions speak louder than words.
There is a boy in his class whose parents are like you, swearing is awful etc. He is such a mean boy, a horrible little thing who will be a bully soon. It’s coming. He doesn’t swear though, so according to you, thats ok?

I had an awful experience in Aldi one time, everyone was watching and I was with two toddlers at the time. I never stood up for myself because I had post natal depression and I was so humiliated and mortified plus I didn’t want a scene in front of my kids so I did nothing.
there’s a few situations where I could have done more but I chose not to for the sake of de-escalation in front of my kids.
I look back now and wish I had stood up for myself and defended myself in those scenarios.
people get away with so much, especially with women , children and young people because we ‘don’t want to cause a scene’, it won’t hurt your child to hear you swear in context on the odd occasion, better than seeing us get walked all over.

the bloke should have found another till or challenged the staff who let you go and replace the item

all your 7 year old will get from this is it’s acceptable to be shouting and balling and telling people to fuck off great role model
the problem is this attitude becomes ingrained and they see nothing wrong with telling teachers to fuck off at school
then they turn in the same as the man in Aldi

your not preparing them for adulthood as soon as they am start working let’s see how far they get when they tell there boss to fuck off

Don't worry about the swearing. The man was totally in the wrong. Aldi staff will usually let you swap an item in this way and you had your shopping waiting at the automatic till. You'd have been better going through the check-out, perhaps, because the swap would have been easier - but that's horrible hindsight!
Good for you for standing up for yourself. I can't understand the man's point at all. Idiot.

YABU to regret pulling the prick up on his attitude.

They won’t deal with him. I’ve had the same from men in supermarkets. Staff won’t intervene because it can put them at risk.

What would the red flag be, saying fuck? Genuinely what else? Walking away and not squaring up with child in tow?

So fucking what if kids hear grown ups swear. They’ll soon hear it every day, on tv, online, from their friends.
Swearing does not make you a bad person. Acting like a dick makes you a bad person. That man was acting like a dick. We all have to queue, and because we’re not toddlers, we don’t have to kick off about it.
If this happened to me and my 7 year old son was there, and I swore at the man, it would teach my son that a) his mother doesn’t take shit from men, and b) should he ever decide to act like a dick the same as the man, then someone might put him in his place.
Women are not here to be polite and make everything comfortable for people around us. We’ve done it for too long and it’s got us nowhere

Most people have agreed he shouldn't have said anything and was being a twat. Unfortunately shoving your finger in someone's face and swearing doesn't cover the OP in glory. Imagine if it was the man who'd behaved like that.

MN never fails to bring out the ‘poor men’ and ‘you should be ashamed that you thought of yourself before a shop full of strangers first’ brigades.

The ‘ poor men’s we know are the parents or partners of the vile specimens that deserve to be rounded on, but the ‘think of others first’ lot - are you really so concerned with never inconveniencing anyone else, ever, that you’d put yourself to extra hassle on the off chance someone had to wait 1 minute longer to scan their spuds? I just can’t imagine being so utterly lacking in self esteem.

So in under 2 minutes they dealt with the alcohol thief and had time to engage with this man, yet he didn't see you having the conversation with the staff member about swapping something.

You were the one who escalated by swearing, and again by saying he picked the wrong person to be rude to. You then reengaged with him as you were both leaving instead of just letting it go and getting on with your day and chose hypocrisy about him shouting in front of your child when you had been swearing in front of same child.

Neither of you were great, but on balance, you were worse.

You shouldn’t have gone back to swap something and held up the people behind you! You should’ve paid for your shopping excluding that item then gone back round to buy the replacement separately. Also you shouldn’t have sworn at him.

Having said that, he shouldn’t have shouted at the assistant.

ESH. (Except the assistant. And DD.)

I have voted UABU as I applaud your outburst and think your response was fantastically brave. Fuck rude men - give as good as you get and more. And don't feel guilty for it.

@Liiz92 You seemed to have reached a point where you'd read and digested all the posts, good and bad, analysed your behaviour and decided how you'd handle things differently next time, and Thanked everyone for posting and summed it all nicely.

And here you are, still here arguing with people about points that aren't actually relevant to what you take away from Aldi episode. I think knowing when to let things drop is your stumbling block. You don't need to take everything further. Let it go. Sometimes you can leave stuff unresolved. That's ok. You don't need to have the last word on everything.

😁

😆 as arranged!! 🤣

I'd be there next sunday as arranged

I’m sorry you were in an abusive marriage.
Sadly what I said is still true.

Good for you. Apart from the swearing but how old was the child?

Uppity men and indeed women, the self entitled and arrogant deserve to be put down, and if in front of other who may watch and learn that that behaviour is not acceptable.

Way to go.