Father in law making rude comments in pregnancy

I have a couple of (male) relatives like this. The only way to manage is to go HARD, harder than them.

So when he says "hello fatty", I'd say "oooh not dead yet? Looking kinda old and pale there, didn't think you'd make it another week". Or something equally horrible, the key is to make it really personal so it hurts.

It will shut him up. He will hate you but who gives a fuck at this point. You want him to get angry and either leave the room or kick you out. Result either way.

And don't feel bad for MIL. Women like her just enable these horrible bastards, it's not your job to join in with her.

What PP have said re being in his home, if he tired that in mine he'd be shown the door. Not a chance I'd be leaving the room in my own home.
Also tell him he's not welcome until he changes his attitude.

id remove myself from any situation where he does it . Train him like a dog.

I would just rudely say “Haha I wish I could be funny like you.” Eye roll.

Your FIL is an obnoxious prick. His wife may put up with it but you certainly don't have to. Your DH should be defending you. I'd make if clear that if he doesn't stop his incredibly rude comments you won't be seeing them. Then maybe his wife will realise that nit everyone will put up with his behaviour.

You need to grow a sense humourc

About 6 years ago.

“Get it right, Dave. I’m not fat I’m a ‘humourless bitch who can’t take a joke’! If you can’t remember that one we’d better have a break.”

Then leave and refuse to see them again until he apologises. They’ll all think you’re a cow because it’s easier to think he’s funny and you’re a humourless bitch than admit he’s a nasty rude prick - but jokes on them because you don’t have to hear any of it.

Not at all. Churchill didn't start it. The FIL did.

And if they won't leave? It'll stress the op further. Let her husband deal with his parents.

no don't do this. Don't leave the room in your own home. Tell them that the visit is over and make them leave.

Practically I would approach it on a number of levels.

First get DH to talk to his dad and tell him it needs to stop
Then you talk to mil and tell her it needs to stop and that if it happens again you will leave/ask them to leave

If it happens again do exactly that, whether or not there's an apology. That way they will learn.

Only stay in their presence if it doesn't happen at all.

Beula82
Tell him to fork off and
If he keeps upsetting you
Then what's he doing to the baby?
Also
Get your husband to grow a pair
And stand up to Bigdaddy when you're now in a vulnerable position and need support

Read this with caution as the lady it's about has always been like this:-
Had a friend who had the same problem when I carried my second, we antenataled together;
She told hubby if the 'joshing as it was put didn't stop and she had anything go wrong
His father was to blame
And never ever be forgiven
All true

I think you need a plan of attack with your husband. If he greets you like that when you enter his house, stop, tell him you've had enough and leave. Ask your husband to support you by telling his dad neither of you will be back. If he says it in your house, turn on your heel and leave the room. Go to your bedroom and don't return until they've gone.

If he says “hello fatty” then the correct response is “hello prick” “hello cunt” “hello coffin dodger” or anything he might be somewhat sensitive about. If he looks offended just laugh obnoxiously and say “ONLY JOKING! Come on can’t you take a JOKE?!”

Well of course they can and do. But if it's your parent insulting your spouse, wouldn't you want to defend them?

@Beula82 Tell your DH that he isn't welcome at your home and you won't be visiting them either. His comments are crass, rude and completely unnecessary. In what world is it hysterically funny to call someone a beached whale or fatty? He's nothing more than a misogynistic old dinosaur hiding behind the "male banter" routine. It gives him an ego boost to make a women feel embarrassed. Your MIL might have to tolerate it and make excuses for him, but you definitely don't. Your DH knows you find him offensive, so he shouldn't be surprised when you say you're going no contact. I'm just sorry your DH hasn't got the balls to support you more.

So many comments suggesting the OP’s DH should say something. Are women not meant to speak for themselves?

‘I’m not fat, I’m pregnant’ followed up by ‘what’s your excuse’ if necessary. Job done.

This has boiled my piss 😠 😡 😤

I would reply well I can give birth and the weight will go, but you will still be a rude, ugly old prick. 👊

If he retorts, then just ask him if he cannot take a joke? 😆
If he says it's not funny,
then say - well neither are you mate 💥

@Beula82

Are you new to MN? 😅

'Boomers' are (apparently) the root of all evil.

Greet him back with “Here he is, the rude arrogant prick” Then laugh loudly in his face.
YANBU.

I've just had similar recently with my FIL and it's completely changed my opinion of him. A few weeks ago at 8 months pregnant, he was talking about his other son's girlfriend who was also pregnant at the time (has given birth now) and saying how looking at her you can't tell she's pregnant until you see her bump, her face etc still looks the same. But me - he said I've put it on everywhere, face etc and I'm absolutely massive!!! 😡 It really upset me, I had to hold back tears til we left and I let my partner know exactly how upset I was with him. At first he tried to make excuses for him, saying he didn't mean it in that way?!! What other way could he mean it?! So he had a word with him and he apologised but he couldn't see why I was so offended!!!! What is it with some people, they think they can just say anything about your physical appearance and get away with it!! So I completely empathise, still makes me so mad thinking about it

'Hello fatty'
'Hello peabrain' Big smile: Just joking. Lost your sense of humour FiL? etc.

Or 'Wow, hilarious.' Or 'How original!'

When did 'Boomer' become an insult or and/or an offensive term?