Father in law making rude comments in pregnancy

Afraid I would just tell him to duck off and walk right back out

then I would send a text to both of them telling them his behaviour is not acceptable you want an apology and until it’s forthcoming and meant you will not be in contact with them and neither will your children as you are not prepared to have such rude behaviour modelled to them.

My MIL told me I looked like I’d stuck a football up my top. For that and other similar rude and insensitive things, I am now ultra-low contact with her.

A friend of ours has a similar 'sense of humour'. He said something to me a few weeks ago and without thinking I replied 'Shut it, Shrivel Dick!'

I think you probably need to be a bit bristly with him, a roll of the eyes and something snarky like 'aren't you hilarious!' If mil wants to defend him have a response ready for her too, 'He's like it with everybody? He doesn't mean it? Oh, well that's alright then!'

His comments are completely horrible. Don't tolerate it.

If you're visiting them, tell him you're not being subjected to this rudeness, get up and leave.

If they are visiting you, then tell him the same, and tell them to go.

No visits and no seeing existing grandchildren the baby until this behaviour stops. Where is your DH in this? Searching for his spine?

Now this pregnancy 7 months pregnant, feeling heavy and sensitive and hormonal. He greets me saying "hello fatty".

It would have been great if you’d felt able to reply ‘Hello rude, insensitive troglodyte’

That would imply that if she was fat and not pregnant, it would be OK for. him to make those comments.
A better reply would be "Not funny, I'm carrying your grandchild, knobhead." The "knobhead" inserts some humour into your response, so you can't be accused of not being able to take a joke.
I'd warn my DH that I expect him to back me up and that if it happens again, I'd be walking straight out that door.

And your husband allows this?

What’s the joke?

Sigh and say “it’s really strange to keep saying something to me that I’ve told you I don’t like, especially when I’m heavily pregnant with your grandchild. We’ve spoken about this before and made our feelings clear. We’ve told you it’s not funny. So you either want to upset me or you need to speak to someone about your memory loss. Which is it?”

If my MIL had told me it was ok for my FIL to be rude to me, I'd have torn her off a strip and I don't care what DH would think.

If it happens again say very firmly that you won't put up with such rudeness, it's not funny and walk out of the room. Your DH should be sorting out his mother as well.

Say it very calmly and quietly - otherwise you'll get told you are being "emotional". Especially with being pregnant and all.

Nah 👎 she doesn’t.
What he said wasn't humour, it was being a rude prick.

Her FIL needs to grow up.
Her DH needs to grow a pair.
@Beula82

I agree that would be terrible!
Instead make sure that your shock at being insulted makes you tremble so that you pour the tea over his feet, them maybe emit an ear piercing shriek?

I think it’s a fairly common to guard a significant other from our own parents and their ‘ways’. If the in law alone speaks up she / he isolates themselves from the family ( becomes the problem) …lots of reasons why the partner ought to show they are a UNITED team not to be trifled with

An apology won’t be sincere. MIL called me nasty names and she’s no longer welcome in our home. You don’t have to put up with horrible behaviour.

Absolutely do not throw tea in his face and shout “Fuck off!”

^This^ and see how he likes it!!
and if he has the audacity to try and call you out, you say ‘well OLD MAN, no worse than you’ve called me, 🤷‍♀️’!!

This, no one would ever speak to me like that because they know I'd wipe the floor with them.

Him 'Hello fatty'
You 'Hello shit for brains'
Have an insult ready to fire back at him

Sorry, but personally I hate the word "inappropriate" - DF is not using the insults in the wrong place, he’s using them when they shouldn’t be used at all. He’s being rude.

I'd give a final warning. "Bernard, I’ve told you many times that I really hate these rude comments you make about my body when I’m pregnant. You may think they’re funny but I don’t. If you do it again we’re going to have to stop spending any time with you." (You need your DH's support for this.)

If he or MIL make comments along the lines of "For goodness sake, it's only a joke" or "Can’t you take a joke?" I’d say "That’s what every playground bully says. It’s not funny and I’ve told you repeatedly that it upsets me, so why do you want to keep doing it? Do you enjoy upsetting me?"

This is beyond rude, offensive, and above all, disrespectful! You've spoken up, it has persisted, and wow... It's shameful that your husband tolerates it and that is disrespectful, too. Here you are, bringing their grandchild into the world??

Yeah, no. I'd cut all contact at this point with him and he could forget ever getting his hands on my child.

DMIL was like this with me. She wax diagnosed with Dementia a couple of years later. Usually a very lovely Woman I think the Dementia was making her lose her social niceties.

My DH and DSIL pulled her up on it each time though. I’d be really cross with my DH if he hadn’t.

“Brian, if you can’t stop the misogynistic and rude comments, I’ll be keeping the DC away from you. I refuse to let them grow up hearing their Grandpa insulting their DM”.

then leave (if you’re visiting) or get their coats (if they’re at yours).

Whatever your DH is saying is not enough. Has he actually tackled his dad properly?

I was thinking the same. Nasty comment.