Father in law making rude comments in pregnancy

I won't always be fat but you'll always be a twat.
Sorry fil can't you take a joke?
Tinkly laugh....

I wouldn’t respond with any insults. I’d say …

FiL, I have asked you multiple times not to speak to me like that.
My husband has asked you not to do so. Yet you persist. I have had enough. Why do you think it is funny to upset me?

Please leave our house / we’re leaving now and will note seeing you again until you can be kind and respectful. Right now you are being neither.

When MiL protests he is just making a joke you say…
We’ve said every time that this is not funny. No one is laughing. We have asked him not to speak about me like that. You hound be encouraging him to stop, not trying to excuse him.

Just say fuck off and die. Then laugh or walk away. You have nothing to lose.

You are carrying his grandchild but he shows you no respect

I think you need to be blunt in whichever way you feel necessary.

If that is hard for him then that is his problem

Your reply needs to be "I'm not fat, I'm pregnant with your Grandchild, who you won't be meeting unless you apologise and stop you're disrespectful comments."

I've already said upthread oh fuck off should suffice.

"Hello, ugly! Dear me, you've got less hair every time I see you. Haven't you had that mole looked at yet?". Or whatever applies.

"I am growing your grandchild. If you can't keep a civil tongue in your head, you won't be seeing your grandchildren. Goodbye!"

Unbelievable that you tolerated that beyond the first time.
As for your husband allowimg him to be so rude to you, unbelievable.

Refuse to visit until you get the sincerest apology.
Hopefully he will refuse and you need not see him again.
A win.

She is literally on here asking for advice on how to handle it and what to say to him.

Op is well within her rights to deal with the Fil as she sees fit
The husband should be telling his dad to pack it in and support his wife.

What do you mean you "try" to shut it down? Are you firm enough with him? You've described enough about how everyone else handles it (laughter) but do you laugh along, or smile, if you're being honest?

Have you not called him out on it yourself? If he has always done this kind of thing and got away with it, it probably would not occur to him to stop unless someone - preferably you yourself - told him in no uncertain terms that it was rude, hurtful, insensitive and that you want him never to do it again. Do you have a problem generally with being assertive?

Do this, and if he continues, get DH to tell him that unless he desists he won't be seeing his grandchild when he/she is born. Get him to take this seriously.

Wow that's absolutely disgusting, especially as it's his grandchild you're growing. He needs to shut up and fast, needs to have some respect towards you! Hope you're ok OP.

No, I'm not new to mums net, but was questioning it as a way of raising it, in the hope that the poster would respond. I'm sick of hearing it used in a derogatory way!
Some of the younger posters on here are very misinformed about how much many of us struggled in the past, and live in cloud cuckoo land about how 'easy' it was for many of our generation, particularly women.

I think you need DH to handle this one for you. Get him to tell him it really upsets you and he needs to stop.

I think I would go with “Hello ignorant bully”, @Beula82. And when he denies being a bully, I’d ask him what he calls it when someone repeatedly makes hurtful and vicious comments to another person - “And if you carry on being a bully, FIL, you won’t be spending any unsupervised time with my children, because I want them to learn to be decent, kind people, and you are a terrible example for them!”

Go hard.

'What did you say, cunt?' is your response to the next offensive comment.

If your DH pipes up to defend his father say 'Now you have an opinion, spineless'

Then turn and leave. Refuse to spend time in their company until the behaviour is respectful.

The family's low bar does not have to be yours.

No. Bullies don’t want escalation. They think they hold the power and they can stop others from escalating. When you do? When you give it back? They fold. Always.
Walking away makes FIL believe he has “won”. Shaming him in his own house? Puts him back where he belongs. No “breach” to be mended with me. I decide what is or is not appropriate and act accordingly.

Wheres your dh backbone ?

is he overweight? If so, just say, "I'm pregnant, what's your excuse?"

This.

Next time just shut him down immediately. Tell him its not appropriate and you wont be tolerating it. If your MIL pipes up than you shut HER down telling her its not funny and again, you wont be tolerating it. His behaviour wont change if people keep enabling it

’Hello Ugly! Would have been the perfect response. Just meet ‘funny’ with ‘funny’ and the comments will soon stop . I have been in this situation with an in-law. X

What a cunt! Tell him that kind of misogyny went out of fashion 50 years ago. Perhaps also point out that it doesn't sound like he's interested in his grandchild which you are growing so you won't need to bother seeing him again.