Father in law making rude comments in pregnancy

Or you could try being equally rude by saying “well im growing your grandchild, whats your excuse?” Give him a good slap on the back and a good old chuckle, see what he has to say!

Your FIL sounds like a complete prick. Shocked your husband would allow him to speak to you like that.

just refuse to be around him

I think I’d go straight back with “Hello, rude old man”

The trouble is with this sort of person is they wont take kindly to being told. If they are immature enough to make such comments they will definitely be too immature to take some firm boundaries. I tried it once with my ridiculously cruel MIL and finally had enough, offered her a few home truths in that actually she was really rude and disrespectful. It insulted her no end and she doesn’t speak to us now which is bliss, but be warned.

I can understand why she'd expect her husband to talk to his own father about his inappropriate, disrespectful treatment ... failing that, let him have it and ban him from the house.

Another tactic with bullies like this is to get them to explain the joke. Stay really calm. Say 'I don't like it when you make comments about my body.' If he says 'it's just a joke' do a classic Mumsnet head tilt, look baffled and tell him you don't get it. Don't let him drop it, keep asking. 'No, honestly, you say it every time you see me so it's obviously a really funny joke. I'd like to understand so I can laugh too. Mainly I just find my back hurts these days, so a good joke would be great.'

Then do this every. single. time he makes a 'joke'. Even if he never learns he's a rude prick, he will at least learn it's no fun bullying you and he'll give it up.

Why is MIL bought into this? Why isn't your DH taking him to one side and telling him to stop. Is this what your children will have to grow up around?

If he greets you like this when you visit, quietly and without a word turn round and go home. Or you could always try, 'Hello Baldy / Flabby / Saggy / Uggo' - be creative.

I can’t decide if you should call him a cunt, or just leave without saying a word if he insults you. (Part of thinks you just need to train him like he’s a dog. Insult = immediate abscence. Even if you’re half way through the front door, or just been served a meal. Eventually he’ll learn).

But I can be sure my child would call him, “The grandfather we never see”.

Imagine your child learning It’s acceptable to insult people like that.

She is not helping herself put a stop to it though, is she? She seems unwilling to spell it out to him firmly and create a strong boundary. Women seem to collude with awful male behaviour sometimes.

I think that whatever you think about him, you just say it and never mind the consequences

He is voicing his opinion, over and over again without a thought to your feelings.

You misunderstand,the fil should just behave like a normal human being and most definitely keep his idiot comments to himself.

Nope. Not right to leave the room in your own house. THEY leave right there and then.

🤣

What’s normal about calling women ‘fatty’ and ‘beached whale’?

Why is it that acceptable but answering FIL back unacceptable?

Exactly. You have to leave their house every time he does this if you’re at theirs.

Or leave the room if you’re at your house.

It’s the only thing that works.

Ha ha, yeah really funny, now FUCK OFF!!!! should do the trick nicely every time he says something rude until he gets the message

You have a 'D'H problem. Any man I know would almost deck that lowlife piece of shit for making those comments, and walk away and never see him again. The fact that your husband still goes there says he is garbage. Sorry, but he is. Any man worth his salt would call it out, and walk away from them for good. The thing that you married is a gutless thing with no honour who won't defend his wife. This isn't about your FIL, this is about your husband not walking out and making a line in the sand.

Perish the thought that the Fil could just behave like a normal human being.
All the angst on this thread around one man🤮

I'm open to being convinced, what shut down do you think would work for OP ?

He wouldn't be allowed in my home with those comments. And if your DH hasn't read him the riot act, I'd be asking him to go as well.

Honestly. Why are women just expected to put up with this bullshit from the men in their lives?

This!

either they are no longer invited and you don’t go there “we are unwilling to go places when Dad is so rude to wife”
or you respond In kind. so when FIL says “hello fatty” you calmly respond “are you always such a rude cu*t? Or just to me?”

My Dad would say to me "You're looking swell daughter" !

Why does the DH have to be the one who says something ?

The OP is more than capable of saying "For Gods sake Brian , I;m pregnant . I'm meant to put weight on, did you miss that bit in Biology"

Don't invite him to your home and don't visit him at his. See MIL separately.