To get a radar key

Get the key, get the lanyard, and anything else you need that might help you guys get through the day. People don't understand until they have neuro divergence/disabilities themselves or someone close to them how hard simple things can be.

I got mine on Amazon!

Solidarity OP ❤️ you sound like a great mum and a great advocate for your son. Get the key and try not to worry what people think. It’s hard not to with the culture war against autistic people coming from rightwing outlets but our kids need us to be ballsy for them and think “fuck what people think.” You’re doing great

Ah love, I remember this very dilemma. We have a lanyard (not a key) and bought it in the most part for motorway service stations. DD (AuDHD) has interoception issues and doesn’t need to know she needs to go until she is about to burst.

Like another poster above, we use it when we need to and not when we don’t - but I don’t regret getting it in the slightest. It stops the stink-eye when we motor past a long queue to go straight into the disabled.

I have a radar key for my autistic daughter. She's diagnosed as low support needs, but if the public toilets are busy, then we use the disabled to avoid meltdowns. It's not just the queuing, it's the noise of the people, hand dryers, potential contamination OCD kicking in. And whilst she'll hold it together for a short while, I can tell her bucket is filling up and she's at risk of losing it.

I've had it for about 2 years and we've only used it a handful of times. It's reassuring to have though - it's almost as if having the option means she can make a decision on what she can cope with. Of she didn't have the option, there'd be additional stress.

On the days he needs to use the disabled toilet, you use the key. My DP has a stoma, sometimes he just needs a wee, so goes in the gents. On good days my Mum could get out of her wheelchair and would use the women's toilet. At other times, both need the disabled toilet.

God this sounds exactly my GS same age same problems so I know what your going through good luck in the future ive got a key for him so go and get 1

How do you "officially" get one?
editing to add, have googled and found out. It's not monitored in the way a blue badge is, OP your situation sounds entirely justifiable. I'm thinking my df with prostate cancer would also benefit

I have one as I have urge incontinence from time to time and can’t always wait. I only use it on those occasion. I think you should get one for your son.

Oh gosh that sounds stressful!

(adds new thing to worry about to list!)

I have IBS and have a radar key. I only use it when I’m having a flare up and can’t wait!

I had a radar key when I had a double hip replacement and couldn’t walk up stairs, now I’m physically able, I don’t use it but it was essential for that period of time. It sounds as though you really need a radar key, don’t feel guilty about it!

This isn't always the case...having been in just that situation!

You don't need to be disabled every day to use a radar key. There are conditions such as those mentioned in the thread already where people are fine one day but might have urgency issues or other need to use it on another day.

I do have a radar key for days that I need it and I'd have no problem if your child was having a bad day and needed to use the accessible toilet.

I know this is blunt but it's better to keep him safe and as calm as possible rather than worry about what other people think.

You're doing a good job in difficult circumstances and if a key would make days that little bit easier, then get one and use it.

I teach children like your son; 100% I’d suggest a radar key.

my friend has one as she is in London and has a kidney issue which means frequently needing the loo. Shes found it’s too hard to find a loo quickly unless you know where you are well and they’re accessible on an app or a map

Buy it. I have one for work but I would use it if I need to take my child to the toilet with his pushchair. He is autistic. I would probably do it if I had a newborn with me as too many changing rooms have no toilet. Why??

Doesn’t sound unreasonable ant all. All I’d say is please bear in mind how long you & your son are in the disabled facility. If he’s having a meltdown, does it take a long time for him to calm down, for example? From what you’ve said, this might take a while. There could well be someone waiting outside who is absolutely unable to use a toilet without the pull down safety bars.

I have a radar key as I have incontinence issues as well as arthritis, and its come in handy more ways than not. You also don't need to pay for public toilets either.

Yes get one. I have one for DS who is 8 and autistic. He's too big to be coming into the ladies with me but needs prompting for things like closing the door and hand washing so I couldn't just send him into the men's alone.

They don’t open the disabled toilet if it’s been “locked” from the inside.

using the key is the equivalent of pushing the handle - won’t open if locked from inside.

He is a disabled child.

yes get a radar key.

i had to tell my dad to buy one when he had bowel cancer and a stoma. He just wasn’t going out so I gave him one of mine and told him to buy one!

I have one for DS. Similar situation as you - always a last minute rush, very tall for 7yr old, wants some independence but cannot be trusted in the men's alone and hates hand dryers!

I’ve wanted to get one for dd for similar reasons but I always worry that I will walk in on someone using it and I won’t hear them?! So have avoided using one, how do you know it’s not being used? I know you tap and ask if anyone is in there but I worry I won’t hear them respond

Yes. I have had emergency surgery, resulting in a stoma and as a result have a radar key. Ive not used it yet, but the day will come no doubt.

100% yes. This is exactly what it's for and it will make your life just a touch easier