To leave my husband because of his OCD?

Presumably he wasn't always like this?
Must be very difficult for you to live with

My youngest DD has (diagnosed) OCD, so I understand how hard it is to live with someone with the condition (although not as hard as it is for the sufferer).

In your shoes I would have a "come to Jesus" talk with DH. Let him know that you can't continue to live like this, and that if he refuses to get help for his OCD, you will be left with no choice but to initiate divorce proceedings. I would be clear that you do not want to divorce, that your very strong preference is that he gets help and you tackle the OCD together, but that you are serious about being unable to continue the relationship as is.

Yes exactly. This sounds like abuse/control not OCD

He's making a very unreasonable demand on you.

what a judgemental and unhelpful comment

I don't think I could live with this level of control and feeling like I was walking in eggshells the whole time.

I think whether it's OCD or not is a bit of a red herring. His needs don't trump yours and vice versa. If there is no room for compromise on what level of clean/tidiness is accepted, it may be better to separate .

I couldnt live like this.

By staying you are also essentially signing up for a child free existence...because how are you going to drag a child.into this

This is sounding like abuse.

Maybe unintended from him and what he needs but a level of control that must be unbearably difficult for you.
I feel so sorry for you. If he's not agreeing to help, your life will never change. Your dc will suffer damage.
I would leave.

Is this a new thing? YABU if he's always been like from the early days of your relationship. YANBU if it's something new.

OCD is an anxiety disorder. It would generally involve a fear about the consequences of not cleaning, not just ‘liking things clean’. Theres no way I’d live with someone like this either way though, how tedious.

Also look up OCPD. It has some similarities but is a personality disorder not an anxiety disorder.

That level of obsessive compulsive focus on cleaning must be draining for you and for him. Have you suggested he gets diagnosis/help to manage this?
Do you feel you have to go along with the OCD behaviours ?
What would happen if you said: You can do as you wish, but i'm not doing those things? EG: Changing shoes or wearing shoe covers in the car.

I had a very brief thing with a clean obsessive man when I was much younger. I'm what could be described as a slob. This one time he was frantically dusting his rented room in a shared house and I commented I wouldn't bother doing so and he said "you'll learn". The relationship never went anywhere and I'm fucking glad it didn't. And I didn't learn. I have cobwebs on all my ceiling lights

My best friend is diagnosed with it and hates herself to her core, she is resistant to getting help because she’s very fearful of doctors and medical settings, that’s one of her biggest triggers. The more I’ve learnt about it the more I know that someone being resistant to seeking help is often not an indicator that it can’t be OCD, it’s often part of the ocd itself. Im not saying that OP should put up with her life being restricted the way it is, I don’t think she should. Just that him not seeking help isn’t an indicator he can’t have it.

My daughter does this off her own back as she is seriously grossed out by school germs and her school is gross apparently (she's in year 8) ps it wasn't my comment was it?

I couldn't live like that...

Sounds like hell, a bit like those people who insist on getting changed into indoor clothes before sitting on the sofa.

Oh get lost. Her DH is making her life a misery. If he has OCD, he needs to seek treatment.

That’s why I think his reaction to the idea of getting help is instructive

That’s no way to live.

I have OCD (completely different behaviours and rituals to your husband) and I am getting CBT for it. It helps a lot. I would say my symptoms are less impacting on others than your DH’s but they do still have an impact so it’s selfish not to get help.

A lot of OCD comes down to low self esteem so he may feel he’s somehow not good enough if everything isn’t clean - but that doesn’t mean you have to live with that.

People with genuine OCD will likely be willing to seek help if offered (and they are a decent person) because they don’t enjoy living like that. If he’s very resistant I’d question whether it is actually OCD.

It's not "a dream come true" to have a husband who is forever making ridiculous demands because of his anxieties.

My teen has OCD too. It's exhausting at times. I do find that supporting him in other ways helps if his OCD gets bad. If I take the focus off the OCD topic he's on about and support the family in other ways instead/too. Basically I think that they lose the ability to maintain a healthy routine during those times so someone else might have to instead. Keep going out walking/exercising/doing light-hearted things with him if you are staying

@Unusualdog totally disagree with you. The untrained amateur cannot exclude differentials. A lot of disorders and conditions look similar and have overlap.
Op is describing controlling behaviour but no other impacts on the husband.

This is no way to live, OP. It doesn't sound like OCD, it sounds like control.

There is an ocean between the two, and I would express serious concern that you're being mentally beaten into living like this.

The idea that these disorders can only be recognised by a professional is asinine. Most people can recognise alcoholism, ocd, panic disorder and many other issues. Psychological assessments are far from perfect and professionals often disagree with one another.

This is reading as abuse now.

Yes I would leave.