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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think a meal should not be part of a Birthday Present?

195 replies

zaktha · 08/02/2026 07:10

I recently turned 60. I like material gifts not experiences and my family know this.

For my 60th birthday present, DH got me a pair of earrings (c£200) and is paying for a slap up meal with him, me, and our adult dc (c£300).

AIBU to think the meal isn’t really a gift to me?

OP posts:
Booksandwine80 · 08/02/2026 08:42

Wow. I’m sad for your husband that earrings are non returnable. Do you have your health?! I expect your diamond shoes are too tight as well?

user1497787065 · 08/02/2026 08:38

I’m 61 and ask for nothing for my birthday. At this age most of us have all we need. I ask my adult DC not to buy presents or cards. Cards in particular are such a waste of money. One day on the mantelpiece and the next day in the bin. MY children are happy with this although I’m still failing in training my friends

HoskinsChoice · 08/02/2026 08:37

This reply has been deleted

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Purplecatshopaholic · 08/02/2026 08:35

Ha, ha, nice one op. Go noise people up somewhere else…

PersephoneParlormaid · 08/02/2026 08:35

Yep, ungrateful. Please say this is a reverse?

RottenBanana · 08/02/2026 08:35

I cannot imagine getting to 60 and still being more interested in material possessions than time with loved ones.

TwinklyWrinkly · 08/02/2026 08:34

I could understand if he'd got you an "experience" of an hour on a racetrack when you don't like cars, but you would honestly rather have "stuff" than the chance to have a special meal out with family to celebrate yur special day? Do you not like them?

MyLimeGuide · 08/02/2026 08:34

If he hadn't had got you earings I might have seen your point...

OMGitsnotgood · 08/02/2026 08:32

You are acting like a spoilt brat.

BumpyaDaisyevna · 08/02/2026 08:31

Theres no pleasing some people!

Chattycatty32 · 08/02/2026 08:31

Send your husband my way 😂

SatsumaDog · 08/02/2026 08:29

It’s fairly normal for us to give each other a meal out somewhere nice as a gift. It’s very expensive to eat out now, so when we do it’s usually for a special occasion. Given you also received some fairly expensive earrings, I would be pretty happy tbh.

Wishthingswerenouting · 08/02/2026 08:29

“Slap up meal” 🤢

ThatJadeLion · 08/02/2026 08:29

This post cannot be real!!!

WeepingAngelInTheTardis · 08/02/2026 08:29

Christ, for the past 14 years ive got nothing on my birthday and I still didn’t grumble. You sound incredibly ungrateful.

TheMorgenmuffel · 08/02/2026 08:28

The meal is a celebration for you.

SettingSunStillness · 08/02/2026 08:27

This has really made me cringe

WonderingWanda · 08/02/2026 08:27

Would you like to pay for the meal yourself? He got you a very expensive gift alongside taking you out to celebrate. I don't understand your problem really othet than being utterly spoilt.

IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 08/02/2026 08:26

HelpMeGetThrough · 08/02/2026 07:44

A meal with a fight at the end.

I miss the 😂 reaction

HelpMeGetThrough · 08/02/2026 08:25

Lougle · 08/02/2026 08:21

I think you're right

I was thinking along the lines of…

To think a meal should not be part of a Birthday Present?
CurlewKate · 08/02/2026 08:25

packratandproud · 08/02/2026 08:07

It's a Sunday morning
Get a coffee go outside and stop patronising thread policing

@packratandproudis absolutely right. Sometimes a bit of thread policing is absolutely necessary. I just saw a kingfisher….

Namechangerage · 08/02/2026 08:22

Noshadelamp · 08/02/2026 08:06

So weird, most people as they get older realise that life isn't all about material things and value spending time with loved ones.

Btw a meal out with your family isn't an "experience" 😂

nailed it

You have a material gift - earrings worth £200!!! In my house a normal gift is about £100 for special birthdays so you’re already winning.

Then spending money on a meal for you and loved ones, £300?! It must be a nice meal, not a Nando’s or somewhere so you are winning there too.

So yes, you are being VVVVV unreasonable (and ungrateful). Hasn’t reaching 60 years on the planet made you feel grateful to get to spend time with family on your birthday?

Lougle · 08/02/2026 08:21

HelpMeGetThrough · 08/02/2026 08:13

He might like a nice pair of earrings, you never know.

I think you're right

To think a meal should not be part of a Birthday Present?
Hollowvoice · 08/02/2026 08:20

Noshadelamp · 08/02/2026 08:06

So weird, most people as they get older realise that life isn't all about material things and value spending time with loved ones.

Btw a meal out with your family isn't an "experience" 😂

Depends on the family...

QuietLifeNoDrama · 08/02/2026 08:20

The meal is definitely part of the present. If you don’t want to go tell him to cancel but you shouldn’t expect more gifts in addition to the meal just because you don’t class a meal as a gift. Your DH is still spending £500. I can’t imagine letting me DH spend that kind of money and then sulking because I don’t see it as a gift. I’d just be honest from the start and say please don’t waste your money on a meal id sooner have something else.

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