To think a meal should not be part of a Birthday Present?

You are being very unreasonable and ungrateful.

The OP's catching a lot of flak but I do sort of get what she means. I generally find eating out really boring so it wouldn't seem like much of a present to me either - lots of people going on about the 'wonderful memories' that flow from this sort of thing, but I've been out for loads of such meals and struggle to remember any of them. I've seen it said very often on MN that husbands are supposed to have an almost telepathic understanding on their wives' wants and needs, so if after (presumably) a long marriage the husband in this case has got a present that the OP doesn't actually want...I can't blame the OP for being a bit miffed.

To be clear - I very much would like to spend time with family for my birthday, but to me a fancy meal out would be the opposite of a present and a waste of money. Plus the OP does seem rather mercenary about it; it seems odd to me that she knows what all this is costing anyway, and if she is saying that she should have the £300 instead then yeah, that's the behaviour of a 6 year old.

This Op isn’t “lucky”

No way.

Read in to that what you will!

You're very lucky, on my birthday, I received no gift from my husband, I never have. But I did have the privilege of paying his hospital parking fine.

What was your husband’s response?

To be fair to the OP she states that she likes material gifts and that her family knows this. Most posters find this weird but OP is entitled to her preference. So I suppose the answer to the question is whether £200 is a lot/generous in their family for a 60th birthday or not. If it is, and the meal is just a lovely treat so that the family can celebrate then OP is BU. If a gift usually would be around £500 and so the material aspect for OP is less that 1/2 that amount, then given her preferences she is NBU.

I’m with the majority that the lovely meal with my family would mean far more to me than earrings but as I say this doesn’t mean the OP is unreasonable, she also didn’t say she didn’t enjoy the meal or didn’t want to spend time with her family, just that she didn’t think the cost should count towards her gift.

You sound like my MIL. We'd arranged to go for a birthday meal for MIL, with FIL (of course) at a beautiful place. She threw a strop, as it wasn't her husband's birthday, but he would be benefitting from hers. Words failed me. I cancelled the meal as she was behaving like a spoilt brat. Your husband sounds extremely thoughtful.

I feel you are getting a hard time on here OP. Perhaps you should have left out the price of the earrings. I am assuming it was to compare how much he was spending on the meal.

Do you actually like going out to eat? Are you a person who sees food as fuel rather than enjoying 'a slap up meal'. I have s friend who is a nightmare to go eat out with - it has to be plain, no spices herbs or sauces. Nothing foreign. Very fussy. Eats like a toddler. She does enjoy the cinema, a show or comedy night. A 'slap up meal' would be her worst gift.

£200 pair of earrings is a lovely generous gift. The meal is obviously somewhere expensive and that's a real treat, and a fabulous memory. You could all pay for yourselves and your DC probably wouldn't come as that's a lot of money and then your husband would give you an additional gift but surely wear your super earrings and enjoy your fabulous meal with your loved ones, or sit at home and look at the earrings and the other gift he would give instead and wonder why you need this stuff when you never go anywhere. You can't take it with you, in the end the love you give to family and special people and the wonderful memories you have are all that matters. Oh and wear the earrings every day, no point leaving stuff for best. I wear the super earrings I had for my 18th birthday still over 30 years later. Live every day as a special day and be grateful.

What exactly were you expecting?
The earrings sounds extravagant and a very special thought, as does the special arrangement of a meal out. Both something to hold onto as a memory and materialistic.
When I reached that golden age, I’m knew damn well no one was going to do anything about it, so I had to treat myself to a pair of earrings and I booked a trip away, with hubby carrying the suitcases begrudgingly.
Best birthday.

Oh behave
This isn't real
You're 60 not 6

Massively unreasonable, ungrateful and entitled.

Your gift was a £200 pair of earrings.

The meal was a lovely gesture to have your family together.

I suspect that thia is a reverse but if not, grow up

200£ earrings sounds like the worlds most boring present to me ! I’d rather the meal or a day out tbh

£200 "won't buy anything special"?? Are you for real? That's a really sad, materialistic outlook. It's the thought that goes into a present that makes it special, not the amount of money that is spent on it.

The present is the difference between the cost of Pizza Hut and the place you're actually going to.

You are being extraordinarily unreasonable!

I’m guessing:

• OP’s DH expects a lot more to be spent solely on him when it’s his birthday
• OP’s adult dc make little effort for her birthday but expect effort from her

Only OP can confirm.

Half a grand and you’re still not happy. I mean…sheesh! 😂

Yeah. So tedious.

Or they come back and do one feeble 2nd post, or maybe manage a few that just endlessly repeat the same reply. All crap, all fake. One day this place will just be AI talking to itself with the giddy assistance of a couple of those posters who seem cerebrally glued to quoting what ChatGP told them.

I understand that you could see it more as a gift to the family rather than to you personally since they will all benefit, but it is in your honour. Also … £200
earrings.

If they’ve got enough money that they can often spend £300 on a meal, I’m sure they’ve got enough money that she can buy her own earrings.

@Advocodo We are not all making a big for sainthood though! The op might not have many earrings and £200 won’t be buying anything special! The meal might be what they do quite a lot. I’d definitely want better earrings and have a pub meal. I would expect to be asked though. We have taken DDs out for very expensive meals for birthdays but we have spent more on gifts. It’s a balance and maybe op feels it’s lop sided.

So what’s the ‘slap-up’ meal then, if it’s not an ordinary thing you’d be bought any day of the year? It’s a treat. For your birthday. You say you like material gifts not experiences; you’d do well to think about how this has made you ungrateful and rather spoiled when you’ve reached 60 and still can’t appreciate kind gestures because they aren’t objects,

It’s the Dandy comic!

Or possibly Viz.

Most people do actually improve with age, so I. can’t imagine what the OP expected for her previous significant birthdays