To be surprised at someone being pregnant at 44

Is this a real story ?
who cares if someone is pregnant at 44. It’s their business.

As many have already pointed out, you're very wide of the mark. In the past, before birth control was more readily available, it was normal woman to be having their 5th, 6th + babies well into their 40s. These days, a lot of woman won't even start trying for a baby until post 35 for a variety of reasons (career, not met the right person yet, not even sure whether they want to bring children into this world until then etc). Then fertility issues can easily mean it takes several years to get a viable pregnancy, if at all, meaning it's not unusual at all for women to be pregnant at 40+. IVF makes it possible for woman to fulfil their dreams of motherhood later in life too.

I teach Reception. Id say at least half of the mums of children in my class are early-mid 40s now, meaning they gave birth in their late 30s, possibly even early 40s. For several of them, their Reception child is their eldest. Not that it means anything in terms of this thread, but several of the dads look around 50ish. People are generally starting families much later now.

I personally know 4 people who are 37+ who gave birth within the last year. Two had their 1st child, two their 3rd. The two who had their 3rd last year didn't have any of their children under the age of 30. Both of the people who had their first last year at 37+ have made it known they would like more children, if they can.

Yes this is a small sample of people in the grand scheme of things but it's a growing pattern in general. You'd have to be walking around with your eyes shut to not realise many people are still childless at 35 these days, for various reasons, and it's not at all uncommon for women to still be producing children into their 40s (varying from much longed for miracle babies, totally unexpected ooops blessings and everything in between).

Do you think that women hit menopause at 35?

It's more like between 45-55. So of course it's possible to get pregnant in your 40s. It's true you're less fertile. But many do it naturally then or some use IVF etc.

You sound incredibly ignorant. And like you've hardly ever met any women or children?!

With respect to GPs helping with childcare, as many people are having to work longer, regardless of when you become parents, GPs aren’t going to be available or of the age when they want to be/capable of looking after toddlers.

Yes it’s an interesting point. Particularly if in lots of families each generation has their first baby 40+ then first-time grandparents will be in their 80s when babies arrive. Having memories or concept of ‘grandparents’ could eventually be a rarity.

Wouldn’t bother me. I had a baby at 43 nothing weird about it

Another grenade post.

Not quite 45 but my gran had my aunt at 42 in 1939.

So nothing new really.

Not sure why you are picking my posts out. I'm preeeettty sure being healthy and having a regular period cycle are good factors for getting pregnant the last time I checked...

Good luck to this poster but having regular cycles does not mean you have good quality eggs and optimal fertility. A friend thought this and tried ttc in her forties as a result and was disappointed

It's a massive "fuck that" for me! I don't think it's particularly unusual but definitely not as common as having babies in your 20s or 30s.

I know 4 people who've had babies in their 40s, 2 were desperate and had fertility treatment and the other 2 were by accident thinking it was menopause.

Of course grandparents don't need to give support but the choice is being taken away as they are simply not up to it in a lot of cases! ....but isn't it nice if a child has a full family and can spend time with the older generation. It's such a worthwhile input. I have many happy memories of time with my grandparents ..active happy times
I think it's a shame that some children only see their grandparents as not in the best of health or simply just lacking in energy
Yes people are living longer...but that often does not include good health. I see it around me older grandparents who are just not fit to spend time with the young ones to any worthwhile degree. It's not something you may understand til you are older yourself unfortunately . It's a part of life I don't want to miss out

I had my first at 23 and my mother (53 then) was no help then and never has been! (i'm an only child) I don't think it's wise to plan your (reproductive) life around the age of the people you think are going to bail you out! Your kids are your own responsibility.

Conversely, i must say, DHs parents are basically raising his sisters kids and they're in their late 70s. They're very sprightly, but she really takes the piss.

With regard to leaving it till mid/late 30s to try for your first - i think it's risky.

It gives less time to find out if there's a problem and sort it out and less time to get any help on the NHS.

It can b normal to take a year to fall naturally. By the time you've done that and then got the ball rolling on having checks and then decided in intervention you could be hitting the big 40 and then it really is perfectly normal to be 'too late'.

It's totally normal. The average age for a first birth in London is 33.

Why should they give support though ? It’s a parents job to mind their own children for one thing it is not a grandparents responsibility. Secondly there is no guarantee of having grandchildren. I won’t be planning my life around what I’ll be doing as a grandparent when there is no guarantee I’ll ever be one. Plus life expectancy is getting higher as years ago by as well. They are increasing retirement age to 70 where I live. Because people are staying fit and healthy for longer.

Obviously a wind up post…. But you must be living under a rock if you think post 35 is rare.

I had my first at 27 and second at 31 and felt young, a lot in my antenatal class were near or early 40’s.

Just feel like adding that some people can’t help it if they have infertility, loss or don’t meet the right person until later on. Don’t judge.

Agree So many grandparents now....and will be even more so next generation if trend continues...are simply not able to give the same support re grandchildren they would have chosen to because they are too old. This trend is creating older parents with young children to look after on the one hand and elderly parents who require support at the other end both at the same time.

yes! i had my 3rd at 29 and it said that 🤪

I had my first 3 in my 20s and my 4th at 44 😊 all natural.

Mind you - it took 2 years of trying hard for DD4, and about 2 minutes of trying hard for my older ones ....

For the record -
i'm not 'knackered'. She's 11 now and i def wouldn't want to be doing it again now obviously, i have my limits! but i've been fine. My periods have only just stopped in fact.

My GP and community midwife were unfazed. I actually asked her about it on the second visit and she laughed and said i was not the oldest in her books so chill out. She had 4 preg clients older than me.

I don't feel old at the school gates. To be honest there's such a mix of folk pick up the kids these days, mums, dads, aunts, uncles, child minders, older siblings, grans and grand dads that you don't know who's who anyway half the time! Two of DDs class mates have mums the same age as me give or take a few months.

I had my youngest when I was 29. On my notes I was classed as an ‘elderly’ multigravida 🤣

The mean age for becoming a mother in the uk is 31 years old in 2024. So there will be some over 44 year olds giving birth but they are outliers

www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/birthsdeathsandmarriages/livebirths/bulletins/birthsummarytablesenglandandwales/2024refreshedpopulations#age-specific-fertility-rates

Yeah not anymore.
35 was my personal cut off but it's surprising how many people were announcing over 40. Most recent someone I know at 47 has just announced (IVF) like 😲😩😬😳

SO not for me. But it seems so much more common.
No one thinks of the kids and the future these days just selfishly what they want themselves.

A school friends mother had her at 45. We all thought her granny looked after her because her niece's and nephew were older than her.
To add to the mix, her mum was a widow, her husband killed shortly after her birth in a train accident.

They had a great relationship although not quite so with her grown up siblings.

I'd say it's not unheard of but is very unusual. Each to their own but can you imagine heading for 60 with a 13/14 year old! Don't think a teenager would like a mother of that age either

Agree with others, start trying ASAP if you are certain you want children and will be upset if you can't conceive. Of course there are many women who have children in their late 30s and even into their 40s, but many more are desperately disappointed (different if, for you, having a child is a nice bonus and you could live happily without). Not saying this to be nasty, but really, every month counts in your late 30s...