To be surprised at someone being pregnant at 44

35 isn’t rare at all! 44 I would say rarer but not unheard of. There are often reasons why someone has got pregnant at a later stage - meeting partner later, infertility etc. it’s not always their first choice I’d imagine.

You have 4 kids though and several grandchildren . It’s all well and good saying Christ on a bike in your situation but what if you never met a partner until later in life through reasons out of your control and never had the experience of having a child and always wanted one. I suppose you just don’t know until you are in the situation. I’m quite tired at 38 with a baby and the idea of having one at 44 doesn’t seem appealing at all when I think of it. but I might think differently if I had no kids at that age. I always find it gas when people act as though everyone has a choice to have kids younger if they want. It’s not just something you can decide to do whenever you want.

Start now

I looked young, was healthy and super fit, and had regular periods and started trying at 35. Ended up needing ivf at 38 and had my boys at 39. Honestly I was naive that it was going to be easy, just like you. I agree that you should start now because it will not happen straight away. Your egg quality is declining dramatically every month after 35.

I started trying at 38 (almost 39) and husband was 37. I was slim, healthy, non smoker, rarely drank alcohol, and had like clockwork periods and always ovulated every month. I’m 45 now and never managed to have children (have given up now). Had few pregnancies that ended in miscarriage and had a few rounds of IVF which produced average embryos. But they either failed or also ended in miscarriage.

So while I appreciate plenty of women are able to have children later in life, I agree that I wouldn’t take being healthy and having regular periods is a guarantee it will work. I wouldn’t tell people to rush into having children when they’re not ready, but if you’re heading towards late 30s personally I wouldn’t wait long.

I had a surprise 4th baby at almost 42 and my twin cousins had babies at both 43 and 44. It's not as unusual as you think. No IVF.

Just to add the stats, 67% of 39 year olds will get pregnant within one year. And around 50% of 40-43 year olds will within one year.

Most of my circle (London) were older parents, including me at late 30s

I think as long as you’re still having periods you can get pregnant in your 40s and even 50s. Someone called Jean Twenge wrote a book about getting pregnant later in life. Apparently lots of the statistics for pregnancies are from a long time ago so doesn’t necessarily count now.

Would I have a baby in my 40s? Unsure. I’m over that age anyway. But I wouldn’t judge certainly not.

I'm sure you'll be fine but please don't be so nieve........
I think its 1:4 babies are now conceived via IVF, its just that most people dont feel the need to tell everyone their medical history....

Yes. I think it’s unusual to have a child at 44.

44 (naturally) is rare, yes - although hardly hold-the-front-page rare. 35-40, not at all. In some middle-class professional (and living in the expensive south east) circles, having them UNDER 35 is viewed as a bit chavvy.

The dramatic turn actually takes place closer to 40 than 35. It’s based off very old data that it falls off a cliff at 35. Unfortunately for me I got pregnant first try at 32 with my first and was basically infertile by 34 and needed IVF . But i know my situation is unusual because i looked into it extensively because of my situation. I watched nearly all my friends and family get pregnant no problem after 35 including my own mother who had no issues having me at 38. It’s important to be aware there may be issues if you leave it longer. But some women will have issues closer to 30. Most women can still have a healthy pregnancy before they are 40 when you look at the actual data.

My dad was born in 1932 . His mum was 43 and dad was 56 ! Her first baby was born when she was 19 . So my dad had siblings that were old enough to be his parents , and he was an uncle as a baby .

You should come to my corner of west London, all the parents are ancient.

I currently know a 45 year old pregnant with her first, a 43 year old pregnant with her first - two others aged 41 pregnant with their second. I know of several thinking about their second in their 40s. About 50% of pregnancies seem to be IVF.

Having a baby under 30 is basically unheard of round here. Most of the nursery parents I know are in their early 40s - and some of the dads even older again!

It is quite extreme - cost of living, I suppose!

Personal preference though isn’t it. I wouldn’t have a baby past 35 but wouldn’t judge someone who does

My first was due the week after I turned 30, and that week made me an 'elderly primagravida' to the NHS in 1999.

Of course you’re not a freak! But if you’ve already had your baby you must already know that 45 is pretty unusual. Nothing wrong with it, and congratulations on your baby, but I do think MN doesn’t really reflect reality when it comes to having a baby as an older woman

Interesting.

I don’t personally know a single person who got pregnant after forty.

On MN it seems to be quite common though so…

44 is rare but there are still plenty of people who can get pregnant at that age naturally and more who will get pregnant with ivf nowadays. I would argue it’s rare to not be able to get pregnant between 35-40. Yes there will be more miscarriages at that age compared to younger women but the majority can still get pregnant and most of those pregnancies will be healthy pregnancies.

It’s unlikely from a fertility perspective and can does happen - I’d be a tad judgy the person had used donors though

I was diagnosed with premature ovarian failure at 39. I had been ttc for 10 years at that point.

This isn’t surprising, it’s part of the reason the birth rate has reduced so dramatically in the UK and many other western countries tbh. Women are waiting and as a result, often struggling to get pregnant or if they do, they just have one child.

The thread is making me feel like a freak. I just had my baby at 45. No interventions.

Pregnant at 44 - on MN you’re a spring chicken. In the real world - yes very surprising

Started TTC at 25. Took five years and IVF to get my first. I am not saying it will be the same in your case but better off just getting on with it.