To be surprised at someone being pregnant at 44

Women have had children up until menopause for millennia. The average age of menopause is 51.

I only know 3 women who had babies in their 40s and all 3 were IVF.

You say this but my mother in law who is from the south east considered me to be ‘leaving it late’ and I had mine at 31 and 34. In comparison to my peers and most people at work I was a youngish mum. People look amazed when I tell them how old my kids are.

A lot of people just get into this weird self obsessed bubble of what they did being the ‘right thing’ and not noticing the rest of the world around them.

I’d say 44 is not common but also not unheard of, but pregnancy post 35 is definitely not rare. No idea where you are based, but in many areas 35 is near average age even for the first child, and many have their second post 35.

I think demographics play a huge part, London far more common for ‘older parents’, in the North alot more are ‘done’ by 35.

I have a professional job and i would say my own friendship group and my colleagues would average at starting TTC around 25. Finish uni at 21/22, a couple of years having fun,savings, holidays, houses then come the kids. Providing all goes well by around 30 most have had 1/2 and unless decide on a 3rd are done. Its definitely more unheard of to be staring at 35+ in my area unless IVF routes. I would also say the playground demographic reflects this too.

At 40+ i would be shocked yes and also suspect they had probably needed help.

No one uses the term geriatric mother anymore. Age is just added as a risk factor on your notes and you may have extra care but not always.

Yes, very naive.

Yes there were many cases in time, s gone by where a " late pregnancy " was actually a concealed teenage daughters pregnancy
However these days its not that common to become a grandparents in your late 40,s
If more and more women are having children in their mid to late 30,s ,they would be unlikely to become a grandparents until they are at least 60.

Was healthy on face of it, with periods, ate well etc. so no you never know. At 38, I had geriatric mother on my notes.

I had 'geriatric mother' and had shared MW/consultant care on my notes only for final child in my 40s. I repeatedly had the consultants and MWs asking why I was under shared care because I had a normal pregnancy with no negative indications (except my age but I looked young for my age).

Unless you’ve had egg quality confirmed, that’s the most self absorbed, unaware answer I’ve read.

It’s not ‘that simple’ in practice. Or the boards here wouldn’t be full of people struggling.

And it absolutely is harder to get pregnant at 44. It’s around the age menopause starts developing signs in MANY women.

It could well take longer than you think, and just because you have periods doesn't mean you or your partner don't have fertility issues, you'll only find out when you try and if you do have issues then the more time you have on your side, the more chance you have of a positive resolution.

FWIW, I had my first in my mid-30s, pregnant at a drop of a hat, so I was surprised when we started trying for a second at 38 and it took nearly a year of TTC before I got pregnant. You simply don't know until you try.

Wishing you the best of luck.

I knew someone who had her first and only age 45. Not planned. She's a great mum. DH parents were 40 and 42. He's in his 40s now and they're both still with us and have only needed care/support the last year.

Same.

Word to the wise I had no problem getting pregnant, but just couldn’t stay pregnant. Had to go to m/c unit for tests. Had my first at 34 second at 38 thanks to them. M/c in between, before and after.

Was healthy on face of it, with periods, ate well etc. so no you never know. At 38, I had geriatric mother on my notes.

I was still having periods at 54 so could technically I suppose have got pregnant then if I’d be trying. Probably wouldn’t have stayed pregnant though!

But statistically the % would be a lot lower by 43 than 40 and then again by 44. 40 is literally when for most women fertility significantly drops. Yes, not everyone is the same person but I don’t personally know anyone of 44 who has got pregnant. 43 yes, one. 42 several on the other hand.

You’d have thought wrong. You’re being determinedly ignorant in the face of free access to knowledge, rather than unreasonable.

Same. My mum had periods untill later than usual also. I still have regular as clockwork periods at almost 45 and had my children at 32, 34, 37 and 42 (just shy). I also had a pregnancy at 39 which didn't go to term. Needless to say husband has had a vasectomy.

I realise this isn't the case for everyone and isn't super common but I do know of at least 5 women locally having children as late as 43/44.

I got pregnant on the second month of ttc at 35 with my first. I had 2 miscarriages at 38 and 39 close together (one at 20 weeks) and then had a second baby at just turned 40. Had I waited until 36/37 or longer I’d likely only have the one. I got pregnant very easily each time but that’s only half the battle.

Did she also have a teenage unmarried daughter? All my daughter’s grandparents were late 40s or age 50 when she was born. Only on Mumsnet is 40+ considered a normal age to become a mum and 50 is considered a young grandparent when it isn’t.

Thats great but not everyone is so lucky
My cousin had her first child a year ago aged 46 but had been trying for years and the baby was conceived via IVF.

Yes. I would say it wasn’t the norm to have your first baby at 44.

I think 44 is unusual. But over 35 ‘rare’? Do you live in a cave somewhere with no contact with the outside world?

Well its not that common tbf
35 + though yeah their care loads of women hsving children in their mid to late 30,s

37 when I had my first… I was the average on my NCT group with oldest 40. 44 may be on the older side - but post 35 very common - especially with professional women

I had all of my three in my late 30s / early 40s and got pregnant the first month of trying each time. At 55 I'm still having periods so I was clearly a long way from the menopause back then. Both my grandmothers had pregnancies in their late 30s, my Mum didn't but she also had a late menopause so would have been capable of it.

Millianials were told to have everything sorted financially before having children. It's no surprise they are having them later or not at all.