To be surprised at someone being pregnant at 44

Even my DGM was 38 when she had my DM in the 1950s!!!! Rare then but not now.

What decade are you living in? If you had asked that question in the 70's you may have been bank on but currently speaking, births to Mothers over 35 accounts for 26% of children born each year according to the national statistics. Women are allowed to have a life outside of being a Mother now!

Is it really ‘the norm in professional circles in London’ to have babies at 44?

I’m a senior level 48 yr old in London. The vast majority of senior women in my organisation with babies and toddlers are in their 30s.

I had my children at 28 and 31. My senior female colleagues in their 40s had children at 34-36. Only one had a child at 41, after 5 years of infertility treatment.

On Mumsnet everyone seems to wait till they are 35+ to even start trying.

In real life I know one person who has a primary schooler in her 50’s and that was a 5th child.

In our friendship group everyone was done by 36 and strangely most of the men snipped.

Some people seem to be threatened by a woman having a life of her own before having children.

Bet OP isn't surprised in the slightest at older dads though ...

Wow! Well done you. Wishing you all the best! 💗

The older you are the higher the rate of miscarriage, so about 20% in late 30s, rising to 40% in your 40s. So you might get pregnant but it doesn’t mean it will be a successful pregnancy. Also more chances of twins the older you are and age of parents (not just mum) can impact things like autism

Why?

Do you know how women's body's work?

According to the government statistics, the average age for first time mother is 29.6, compared to 29.0 in 1938.

I think it must be area/class dependent though, hence why many people view it is unusual in their area/circle of friends to be having a baby under 35. The more highly educated women are, the more likely they are to delay have a baby due to studying, building a career or wanting to be in a better financial position. They are also more likely to be aware and careful about contraception.

In other areas/groups there are large number of teenagers/early 20s having babies and that is seen as normal. Arguably people with a lower level of education are more likely to be ignorant or careless regarding contraception, and women are more likely to have children if they are not focused on a career.

But you do sound judgemental though.

Someone having a baby at 44 probably has a lot more money than you.

Don’t forget that historically many women didn’t live long enough to experience the menopause. If they didn’t die in childbirth they died of infectious diseases.

You also said you’ve just lost 7 stone 🤷‍♀️
do you know when you ovulate in your cycle? How long is your cycle? The length of your lutealmphase is quite important in fertility. Mine was around 9 days. One successful pregnant at 32 (after one miscarriage). Two years of ttc at 35 with two miscarriages and no viable pregnancy.

I had twins one week before my 43rd birthday. They will be 19 this year.

Wild how areas differ isn’t it. I’m In management now so definitely feel this is average in my area as i deal with the maternity leave requests/ flexible working requests etc so i feel i have a good awareness of our statistics at work as well as my own personal circles.

Well yes but the older you get the harder becomes to conceive and carry babies to term.
Of course it happens but its not that common.

Babies at 40 and up may be getting more common now due to delayed maternal age but that doesn't mean that physically, it is the best choice. The human female body is designed to be fertile for approximately 25-30 years. From teens to 40ish. Yes, some people are fertile from 11 and some are fertile up to 45ish. But the middle of that time frame is the most physically sensible time, biologically.

Pushing reproduction to the very end of the fertile window inevitably results in some of those pregnancies having problems. And some people waiting that late have problems conceiving because they're at the end of the fertility phase.

So some of those post 40 babies will be IVF, or from couples who have had fertility treatment.

What we want socially and culturally doesn't always mesh with our biology. Even socially, having a teenager heading off to uni as we are hitting retirement age doesn't seem logical. Having elderly parents to look after while we're still caring for children isn't the best time planning. Surely having a family young enough to have grandparents around who can assist and enjoy them makes more sense (I know not all grandparents are involved)?

Post 35 is the norm now luv. Where have you been? I’m 43 and just had my first. We are both very healthy and happy. I am financially and emotionally stable and in a good relationship. I will be 44 in April. And guess what? Shock, horror! I will have another one too. Imagine! Being pregnant post 45!! The scandal! 🤣

🤣🤣

But to be fair by 44 there’s a fair chance your vagina would have fallen out

Yes, I'm like that. My husband's had a vasectomy now, we're definitely done! I was very worried about 'accidents'. I had my last in my late thirties and conceived first time (as with the others). Just goes to show how variable and unpredictable it all can be.

To be fair, you’re posting crying laughing faces but 36 and 44 really aren’t the same when it comes to fertility!

Most people I know are still single at 25 so don’t know who they’d be trying with 😂 I was the first person my generation that I knew to get married… I was 29. My friends are all just stating to get on with marriage now in their 30s. No babies yet.

@x2boysbefore contraception was readily available, women would have babies until their bodies biologically couldn’t. Where my family originate from it’s still common to have 20+ year age gaps between oldest and youngest siblings. It’s not as common to you now because contraception is the norm here in the UK.

My grandma had my dad at age 44 and that was 92 years ago.