To be surprised at someone being pregnant at 44

Had my DD at 44, three months before my 45th birthday.
i’d had two miscarriages some time before and had given up all thoughts of ever carrying full time at my age. I was 40 before I started trying due to the path my life had taken up to that point.
Then one day I discovered I was pregnant. Happy delirious days.
My beautiful DD is 24 now and is going to follow my lead in that she is going to leave having children until later. I hope she’s not too long or I’ll be too decrepit to be able to help out if needed. 😱😂

Apologies, I meant to share the link.
https://www.parliament.uk/business/publications/research/olympic-britain/population/have-kids-settle-down/

Clearly states 29.6 now compared to 29 in 1938

Fair point but I was speaking from the perspective that its no longer viewed a womans primary aim in life is to be married and have kids before all else!

Or we've had experience of never having a live birth over 36. Or knowing having regular bleeds doesn't mean good egg quality or ovulation. Or, unless you've got the money for private treatment, the NHS will tell you to wait and see, until past the age were you have a excellent chance of getting pregnant.

What the posters should have said, was to get a fertility check. Unfortunately issues with both sides, means my DD's friend won't have a child with her DH, at 34. She won't leave him and doesn't want IVF, after another friend's experience of it. She thought that she'd be ok until 35. The fertility clinics are full of women who thought they had time.

I was told the sharp drop comes around age 37-38. I had IVF at 36 (no fertility problems, lesbian couple) and got pregnant first time.

@PersephonePomegranate people aren’t threatened by women having a life before children but just stating that risk factors increase as you age. Yes, that poster may get pregnant first time of trying, no miscarriage, tests all clear and nothing like autism in resulting child. But the risk of not getting pregnant in your first or even your 12th cycle increases as you age. Age of dad is also important.

Being healthy obviously helps, but many women with regular periods still have fertility issues

Yes, many women have children at an older age but some of them will be having some form of fertility treatment

Sorry, where are you getting that from (assuming you are British?) . The Office for National Statistics (ONS) holds historical fertility tables going back to 1938, and these show that the mean age of mothers overall at that time was around 26. For first‑time mothers, the age was slightly lower, typically estimated at around 24–25.
ONS did not separately publish “age at first birth” in 1939, but demographic historians and ONS‑linked analyses consistently place first‑birth age in the mid‑20s before the post‑war baby boom.
Even that surprised me as according to my anecdotal info, women where marrying and having kids much younger then but I was wrong there.

I don’t think it’s that rare.
more studies are showing that sperm play an important rate in pre 12 week losses , placental health and whether the mum develops preeclampsia.

so I personally think misogyny in healthcare might have really affected education in fertility. Although women have menopause, if you have eggs, your hormones are functioning and you have healthy sperm available, you have a good chance of being pregnant over a wide span of ages.

why we’ve allowed ourselves to think over 30 is ‘well old’ is a shame. I think personally couples trying to conceive should have fertility MOTs and advice on supplements (men as well) plus anout reducing alcohol etc to make it more likely they’ll conceive etc. science based rather than this outdated ‘use by date’ because it’s more nuanced than that.

Of course women have babies in their 40s, even though statistically, a healthy pregnancy and birth become less likely as we age.

I had mine in my late 20s and I’m glad that’s how things worked out for me. I’m late 40s now and a baby/toddler/preschooler to look after would not have worked well with my perimenopause symptoms.

Unusual but not rare, I had first baby just before 40th birthday and a slightly surprise second baby at 46, both uncomplicated natural births and pregnancies.
Two grandmothers who had last babies in mid 40s and both lived till mid 90s so clearly good genetic stock!

Greetings from another unicorn. DS 2 born when I was 47. Very healthy 14yr old now. Uneventful pregnancy. I even managed to hike across Dartmoor carrying him in a back pack once he was old enough. 🤣

A goady post aimed at older mums - who don’t generally get a good ride in MN at the best of times

@Boots89 sorry my post was a bit rude. I tried to edit/ delete it but can’t.
it’s great that you’ve lost weight. I just mentioned it as weight can be linked to fertility/ insulin resistance etc. I think the point I and GinaX were trying to make is no-one really knows what their fertility is like until they start trying to ttc.
now I also delayed ttc until “time was right” at 32 but it did mean we only had one child instead of two due to secondary fertility. I just think people have to accept that there is a risk of not having a successful pregnancy and the older you are the higher the risk. That’s why people advise getting on with it but it depends on how bothered by that risk an individual is. Good luck 🤞🏻

This would mean far fewer female doctors and lawyers. Both careers have very long periods of university and post university training. On top of that, competition for scarce jobs can mean that it’s a long time before you’re even able to settle in one location or have a secure career / environment in which to even think about children. And the need to
move around makes it less likely that there will be any grandparent or other family support nearby.

Its not just being allowed to ... fertility help has advanced / the use of other women's eggs / suragacy is more common place.

Wrong post

Good for you, not sure why you need to give your life story and totally overshare.

I'm surprised at someone WANTING to be pregnant at 44, but it's not unusual. 😁

There are of course lots of examples of women having babies in their late 30s and early 40s - the title of this thread is 'To be surprised at someone being pregnant at 44'. And so understandably women who have fallen pregnant in late 30s/early 40s have jumped on saying it happened to them.
If the title was something more like 'Did you have trouble falling pregnant in your late 30s/early 40s' the thread would attract a lot of different women who had different fertility journeys and unfortunately many have struggled in their late 30s/early 40s - a quick look at mumsnet's fertility pages is enough though to confirm this without starting a new thread!

If anything older fathers even less desirable. It's their dodgy sperm that is responsible for age related birth defects. Better an older mother and a younger father.

I also think it depends a lot on personal fitness. There are mid/late 40s who feel that they couldn’t do the school run every morning or chase after a toddler, then it’s a wise decision not to get pregnant in your 40s. But there are also those who run marathons and wouldn’t be fazed at all by that.

Same. In fact it was my easiest pregnancy and I was at a better place financially and could take 13 months off work which was wonderful 😊

I had my last at 42. No problem at all.

Rare is defined by what's happening at population level not by the frequency with which an individual may have encountered something within their own bubble of experience. There's stats that will tell you exactly how common having a baby at 44, or over 35 really is.

I had my last baby at 38, and honestly think people who do it at 40+ are insane, because it’s hard, we don’t have the bounce back recovery of 20-somethings, so you have to think very carefully about all the pros and cons to have children after 40.