To be surprised at someone being pregnant at 44

Where I live a 24 year old wouldn’t just be “moving in with their girlfriend and their baby” unless they were exceptionally rich, or else moving in with the girlfriend’s parents or something. Because there is no social housing and there is basically nothing available for rent either due to a housing shortage. In all honesty I would rather have a baby at 44 than just be newly moving in with someone after having a baby at 24. But each to their own . Not “judging”

There would have been a fair few older mothers looking after children with Downs Syndrome before screening became available

My gran had my mum at 40-something back in the 1940s. It wasn’t even unusual. I had my first at 40 after several miscarriages. I know many younger women who have suffered miscarriages and others with infertility. Yes egg quality reduces with age, but average age of giving birth is now around 30, and 35 is not far off that.

My MIL had her last child, of seven, when she was 48. Very unplanned.

No one is saying it's a scandal but fertility declines rapidly making conception harder you are one of the lucky ones and your lack of empathy will bite you in the arse. But then again you're going to have teenagers in your 60s so karma is coming regardless.

I would say 44 is more unusual but post 35 is definitely not rare. Having said that from my experience it wasn't easy. I started trying at 32 and took 3 years for the first and then I didn't have my second until age 40, again years of trying. We had tests etc but unexplained.

Rare is such a weird word to use. It’s definitely harder to get pregnant the older you are but it’s not rare. lots of women are having babies when they’re older now.

I will say though it was a lot easier to get pregnant when I was 20 with my first than it was with my 3rd who I had when I was 38. Took years to have her.

TBF in 1911 women didn't have a huge amount of choice.

I had a baby at 42 - I have really struggled with fertility. I would have kept trying for a couple more years. Posts like this are so insensitive and thoughtless.

Apparently your fertility at age 40 is half of what it was at 35, so it makes sense that pregnancy over 40 used to be fairly rare in all but the most fertile women.

These days with IVF though, natural fertility probably doesn't matter quite as much for those who are trying to conceive.

I had my 2nd at 41, my 3rd at 43, and I’m certainly not rare. I think the stats depends on whether it’s a first child as much as anything. It has always been common for women to have a late last baby in their 40s - my grandmothers generation (b1911) were absolutely not surprised by pregnancies over 35, how ridiculous. First babies, not so much, perhaps because women feel too old by that point. Those who already have children have more idea of what they may be able to handle.

I couldn't do.

I had my children at 33, 35, 36 and 38.

Without any problems.

But that was due to life circumstances, internally I was ready from the age of 25/26.

I'm incredibly grateful for my kids, but I will advise my kids, if they can, to have them younger.

The main reason for that is that I was incredibly lucky to fall pregnant quickly without major issues.

But I had a very difficult birth with my 1st, which I consider as partly age related.

Also, not everyone is lucky to get pregnant easily in their 30s and 40s.

So I would hate for my daughters, if they really want to be mothers, to miss out on the gift of motherhood by delaying it.

But then again I heard that scientists are working on treatment at the moment that keeps eggs younger. That would be revolutionising and fantastic if that was available in the future.

When I was a healthy, fit 37 year-old, with a regular period and two children, I checked my fertility levels for unrelated reasons and was told by the doctor that my eggs weren't great in quality, and I might have difficulty having another successful, healthy pregnancy if I wanted to conceive.

So you never know. Hopefully you'll be fine, but outward signs of health don't really mean a lot when it comes to successful pregnancies.

I do wince at the thought of being 44 and pregnant. I am 44 and have no desire to return to the days/months/years of sleepless nights. But I know loads of women who had a child over 35. I feel like lots of people squeeze in a 2nd or 3rd before they turn 40. I also know a good number who had children after 40. Sometimes 2 after 40. And none of them have made it look difficult.

Agree having regular periods means very little. Even having a fertility check won’t tell you what your egg quality is like. I had periods like clockwork at 34 and a very high egg count for my age and needed ivf (which thankfully did work). Actually irregular periods can sometimes be indicative of something that’s easier to fix such as not ovulating which can be induced with oral medications.

It would certainly be too old for me, but it’s becoming more common. I wouldn’t think anything of it under 38 but over that I’d probably consider the parent to be ‘older’

It is possible to have babies in your late 30s and early 40s but as a few people have said the chances decrease and the risks increase.

I suggest listening to these:

https://open.spotify.com/episode/1RThqisZjExbSN6lEAWDiX?si=pgR1QUQBQ26lVBoY7tikqg&pi=fp9NowgiTOCPd&t=0

And

https://open.spotify.com/episode/21NfUoGB1wdXh8Qe7NoM36?si=IKBzgwZxTcatI8Pur2_GCw&t=0&pi=n6WgM1u6QlOpk

Looks like economic factors came into play for older first time mothers in the 1930s. The average age for first time mothers decreased in the 1960s.

Pregnancy after 35 isn’t rare, it’s just life happening on someone else’s timeline. Some simply haven’t met the right partner yet, and infertility is more common than people realise.

Doesn't say how many over 45 had fertility treatment my guess would be a lot.

Easy to say when you have 4 healthy children.

I live in an area where the majority of first time mums are in their 30s, I worked in maternity and am used to seeing "older" mums, but over 40 is definitely outside the norm though it's a growing demographic. However it does come with increased risks.

Regardless of changing cultural norms, we can't change the fact that biologically it's better if we have babies in our 20s.

So yes I would internally raise an eyebrow at a 44 year old being pregnant, in terms of it being late in life for that and the poor woman is going to be knackered, but I wouldn't judge. I had my youngest when I was 39 and honestly now he's 11 I can't imagine having a younger one around as well! I'm so tired!

I had my first at 36 and twins at 38. Both pregnancies conceived the first month trying too.

How old is your DP? If he's 40 or over your chances of conceiving are very slim. If he's 20 you'll probably be fine

(People always discount male fertility in the age conversations!)