To be surprised at someone being pregnant at 44

I guess that will become more common? Having a baby at, say, 42, they will still be in their 20s when one is 71! God I feel old now… 😂

lol neither was at 29! Still needed intervention to have our son.

not Saying you need to try now if that’s not in your timeline but I get the other posters view but it nots always simple

I had my first at 37! Again IVF and then had 2 more naturally! In my antenatal class I by far was not the oldest. I know someone who tried for her 2nd baby at 45 and got pg straight away!

No i dont think 70 is great grandparents age either ( well it can be but more 80+ ime)
But its not very common to have children in their 20,s when you are in your 70,s either.

Absolutely agree with you and @Strawberrryfields. I had no idea about these things and was shocked when I struggled, despite being (I thought) the ‘right sort of age’ for it. Only then did I find out about the struggles the other women in my family had had. Also, remembering my gran (in her 50s when I was little) and seeing my mum, who is her 70s at the same stage of grandparenthood, and the difference is massive. She absolutely wants to do everything she can to help, but is limited by being so much older and in poor health. It’s made me realise that if my daughter waited till her late 30s to start a family, I’d be ancient, and probably wouldn’t live to see my grandchildren at secondary school, never mind grown up.

I had my DS at 37 and I was fairly fit. I cannot imagine having one at 44. I feel tired just thinking about it. Let alone 48 like a previous poster mentions 😂

I had the oldest mum in the class at school in the mid 00s (she had me at 35).

I had my eldest a few weeks after I turned 24 and would say I’m one of the youngest school mothers but look older. Many are late thirties/early forties.

Personally I wouldn’t want to have a child at 44. One of my friends mums was a grandma and had a baby at 48.

Luck had nothing to do with it. Lack of empathy for who? I think you’ve misinterpreted my post. Karma 🤣 I’m delighted I’ll have teenagers in my 60s because the alternative would be not having children of any age in my 60s.

@Toddlergirlymy in laws were in their 70s when DH and I were still in our 20s. So hardly great grandparent age for all!

I mean before then their parents are usually still working full time so can’t help anyway. Support isn’t about age but about circumstances.

Wouldn’t matter if my parents were 50 or 90. They live 400 miles away 😂

I’ve seen you commenting on all the older mum bashing threads. It’s not “great grandparent age” where I live and in my social circle at all. It’s average. And where I live it wasn’t ever unusual for women in their late 30s and 40s to have babies either because there was no contraception years ago. Of course risks are higher above a certain age but It is still biologically “normal” and happens naturally. My own mother had me at 39 no issues. Maybe you need to get out a bit more, perhaps experience meeting different people outside of your own neighbourhood and limited social experience?

Wasn’t that rare considering lack of contraception. My gran was 40 when she had my mum… because mum was her 6th kid!

I agree that I wouldn’t think it was odd if a woman had a child age 35-37. 39+ is riskier but it’s up to women to take that risk.

I was saying more mid to late 30,s
I agree 40+ things can become a lot harder

I’ve known more women have them in their 40s than in their teens.

I'm not surprised by the age, but do get surprised when people themselves are surprised that they don't have a lot of 'family support' and they're struggling - because their own parents are in their 70s / 80s.

Each to their own, I suppose.

I know four 44-45 year olds - three natural pregnancies, one sperm donor ivf as she decided to do it on her own (with her own eggs). I think there’s a lot you can do with supplements also - It starts with the Egg book details them but ubiquinol, antioxidants, good multivitamin for conception etc.

Even if it’s ‘normal’ in certain areas to have children in your 40s, it’s not normal biologically. It’s a huge risk due to dangers to mum, SEN. Some women are lucky and have no issues but that’s not always the case. It always shocks me that there’s 70 year olds who are first time grandparents. That’s great grandparent age.

Completely agree! It's an underrated point to consider, if you want help from your own parents or family of that generation, think how old they'll be when your children are born. Very different expectations (not that it's an obligation for anyone) from grandparents in their 50s than ones in their 70s!

I'm from London, got pregnant with my first at 31, almost a year after we got married. My best friend asked me if it was planned 😂

Now live in the Midlands and in my main baby class, there was one other mum aged 25, otherwise everyone else was post 35. One aged 43.

Obviously it’s completely your daughter’s choice but I wouldn’t let her be led by your experience without at least a conversation. I’m 100% behind women making their own choices but think it’s important they’re armed with the stats/information to do that in an informed way.

Your own fertility doesn’t necessarily indicate what her experience will be - my own mother got pregnant at the drop of a hat - I didn’t. Does she know you also had a history of loss? That you felt it would never happen? That statistically it was rare?

I definitely plan to discuss fertility with my children as think there is a huge lack of education around it. On this thread there are some big gaps in understanding and over reliance on anecdotal evidence. Often people don’t learn this stuff until they’re on their own fertility journey and for some it’s too late to do much about it at that point. Age is the single biggest factor in fertility and having a healthy live birth. There will always be outliers but it’s just the reality.

I think being honest about this is a positive thing and should be the norm rather than being classed as being a naysayer or against women. The ‘only as young as you feel’ ‘age doesn’t matter’ narrative can actually harm women’s choices as it can give a false sense or reality and choice. For the record men also experience fertility decline and male factor issues and should be taught all of this too.

Had my first at 39 after 1 month trying. Second at 41 after first try, too.

I honestly can’t imagine being pregnant at 44…but not for the newborn or toddler phase…more for the teenage phase/young adult phase! I’m 47 now with a 14 & 17 year old and it’s full on. I can’t imagine being at this stage in my 60’s. I’m also not entirely sure how fair it is on the children themselves, despite it being increasingly common.

Horrific, no access to contraception and likely more subservient to a husband.

It's unusual but not that surprising. I had my first child at 34 and my last at 41 and I got pregnant very fast, I wouldn't be surprised if I'd been able to get pregnant naturally at 44, I still use contraception as I'm still having regular periods at 55 and don't want to risk getting pregnant even if it couldn't carry to term. I think genetics have something to do with fertility, my mum didn't hit menopause until about 57, my great Grandma had her first child at 38 and had four children (I'm now curious and going to check on Ancestry when she had her 4th!)