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AIBU?

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Original poster

To find this nauseatingly twee

116 replies

auserna · 07/02/2026 19:54

A relative of mine has started signing all their cards something along the lines of, "All our love, now and always. We are so grateful that you are ours."

We are not an overly sentimental family. I don't recall either of my parents ever saying "I love you" to me, my siblings or each other.

AIBU to want to vomit a little at the turn of phrase or am I the most misanthropic curmudgeon out there?

OP posts:
Rehab4rightmove · 07/02/2026 20:39

auserna · 07/02/2026 19:58

Other than rolling my eyes enough to cause a detached retina, I have.

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Apart from posting on social media?

Bit of a dramatic reaction imo

Wonderknicks · 07/02/2026 20:39

My parents didn't say it on a day to day basis (I was born in the early 60s) but I knew they loved me unconditionally.
It just wasn't something you heard people say. I didn't say It yo my friends as a teenager/young adult but I would now. I always tell my adult children I love them.
It was the last thing my mum said to me and that was very special.

Original poster
auserna · 07/02/2026 20:35

BitOutOfPractice · 07/02/2026 20:34

I didn’t say it was definitive. I was saying my experience. Hope that’s ok.

I also said that my parents were loving and kind and I never doubted their love. I think that’s really important.

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Totally agree that actions mean more than words.

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BitOutOfPractice · 07/02/2026 20:34

TamarindCottage · 07/02/2026 20:19

My sister was born in 1966 and our mum told us she loved us all the time

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I didn’t say it was definitive. I was saying my experience. Hope that’s ok.

I also said that my parents were loving and kind and I never doubted their love. I think that’s really important.

Pollyanna87 · 07/02/2026 20:33

usedtobeaylis · 07/02/2026 20:03

No I'm with you, it's reminiscent of the 'from our house to yours' stuff at Christmas and it is a bit vomity. Some people like all that stuff, I don't. But at the same time my granny writes the equivalent of 'no you hang up first' in every card and I don't mind it because it's her.

I find ‘From our family to yours’ quite passive-aggressive!

Pollyanna87 · 07/02/2026 20:31

I think it’s very sweet. You have my sympathy that your parents never said they love you, that’s awful.

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 07/02/2026 20:29

MIL used to sign cards to the DC and Me ... From Granny.
Then she started going flowery.
I think DH pointed it out.

rockingroller · 07/02/2026 20:27

These are cliches that some people like to use. Much as you might say 'lots of love' or 'take care'. They don't mean more than that IMO.

TamarindCottage · 07/02/2026 20:19

BitOutOfPractice · 07/02/2026 20:13

People didn’t, in general, when I was growing up. I was born in 1967. I just don’t think it was the done thing. Though I never doubted for a second that mom and dad loved me unconditionally.

I say it to my grown up DDs all the time. They say it to me. Different times.

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My sister was born in 1966 and our mum told us she loved us all the time

TheIceBear · 07/02/2026 20:18

PinkyFlamingo · 07/02/2026 20:00

That's really sad your parents never actually said I love you.

I don’t think it’s sad. My parents never say it to me but I know instinctively that they do and that they would do anything for me. Whereas my dh and his family say “love you “ all the time and yet there are huge issues in his family. I think in some generations it’s not as common to say it. But sometimes actions speak louder than words.

bornintelligent · 07/02/2026 20:18

JustAMiddleAgedDirtBagBaby · 07/02/2026 20:03

I don't recall my parents ever saying the words 'I love you' to me (mum might have, dad definitely not), but they clearly did love me, so it's all good.

(I'd rather that than telling me they loved me but not behaved in a loving way)

Agree. My parents and myself with my children rarely say I Love You but I always new my parents actions and mine to my children are / were obvious that we love our children.

echt · 07/02/2026 20:16

BitOutOfPractice · 07/02/2026 20:13

People didn’t, in general, when I was growing up. I was born in 1967. I just don’t think it was the done thing. Though I never doubted for a second that mom and dad loved me unconditionally.

I say it to my grown up DDs all the time. They say it to me. Different times.

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I was about to say the same thing, though born in the mid-50s.

BitOutOfPractice · 07/02/2026 20:13

PinkyFlamingo · 07/02/2026 20:00

That's really sad your parents never actually said I love you.

People didn’t, in general, when I was growing up. I was born in 1967. I just don’t think it was the done thing. Though I never doubted for a second that mom and dad loved me unconditionally.

I say it to my grown up DDs all the time. They say it to me. Different times.

Original poster
auserna · 07/02/2026 20:12

ShiftingSand · 07/02/2026 20:10

My parents never told me or my siblings that they loved me either but I know they do. Think it’s a generational thing. I do tell
my children I love them but not all the time and they appreciate it when I do. Imo if it’s repeated constantly it loses its meaning but that’s probably just me. The card from the relative is a bit ott but they are probably going through something and appreciate you.

Oh I don't get it in my cards. I think she knows what my reaction would be! (I meant all the cards she writes to other people - at least the ones I happen to see).

OP posts:
ShiftingSand · 07/02/2026 20:10

My parents never told me or my siblings that they loved me either but I know they do. Think it’s a generational thing. I do tell
my children I love them but not all the time and they appreciate it when I do. Imo if it’s repeated constantly it loses its meaning but that’s probably just me. The card from the relative is a bit ott but they are probably going through something and appreciate you.

Original poster
auserna · 07/02/2026 20:10

dudsville · 07/02/2026 20:08

Aw, your thread has reminded me of my nan who would say "love you, every day". I miss that.

That's sweet. Somehow sounds more natural and less overly-earnest.

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LindorDoubleChoc · 07/02/2026 20:09

I'd say that's irritatingly possessive although possibly a misguided use of "you are ours" from someone who isn't thinking properly, rather than nauseatingly twee. It would give me the slight rage to receive that - so I'm with you OP.

ASometimeThing · 07/02/2026 20:09

If it’s not your norm, it’s understandable that it makes you uncomfortable.

We tend to write extremely loving messages in cards and our adult sons do it too. It’s our normal, but I can see it’s not for everyone.

Original poster
auserna · 07/02/2026 20:09

Dollymylove · 07/02/2026 20:07

ooooff no far too syrupy for my liking 😬

Sickly sweet, yes.

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ResusciAnnie · 07/02/2026 20:08

JustAMiddleAgedDirtBagBaby · 07/02/2026 20:03

I don't recall my parents ever saying the words 'I love you' to me (mum might have, dad definitely not), but they clearly did love me, so it's all good.

(I'd rather that than telling me they loved me but not behaved in a loving way)

Yes this - in laws are all ‘we love you so much’ but their behaviour is absolutely appalling so it means nothing.

dudsville · 07/02/2026 20:08

Aw, your thread has reminded me of my nan who would say "love you, every day". I miss that.

Original poster
auserna · 07/02/2026 20:08

JustAMiddleAgedDirtBagBaby · 07/02/2026 20:03

I don't recall my parents ever saying the words 'I love you' to me (mum might have, dad definitely not), but they clearly did love me, so it's all good.

(I'd rather that than telling me they loved me but not behaved in a loving way)

Certainly agree with that sentiment! I remember dating a guy who made a big show of buying flowers and walking on the outside of the pavement but who was otherwise a bit shit and I found that rather performative and insincere.

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Dollymylove · 07/02/2026 20:07

ooooff no far too syrupy for my liking 😬

ResusciAnnie · 07/02/2026 20:06

Eurgh that’s something my sister would do. Our parents didn’t hug/tell us they love us either. So she’s gone OTT telling everyone and it comes across as really fake and forced as it’s so out of the blue for our family culture.

In my own family I tell my kids and husband multiple times a day but it’s massively cringe among my childhood family.

Original poster
auserna · 07/02/2026 20:06

VanityUnit66 · 07/02/2026 20:05

Your parents never said they loved you? Or each other? I find that really sad.

I don't know if they've said it to each other. They say it in cards. I have no memory of them ever saying it to me, no. Possibly my mum, but not my dad.

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