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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To find this nauseatingly twee

116 replies

auserna · 07/02/2026 19:54

A relative of mine has started signing all their cards something along the lines of, "All our love, now and always. We are so grateful that you are ours."

We are not an overly sentimental family. I don't recall either of my parents ever saying "I love you" to me, my siblings or each other.

AIBU to want to vomit a little at the turn of phrase or am I the most misanthropic curmudgeon out there?

OP posts:
Original poster
auserna · 07/02/2026 21:32

Strawberrryfields · 07/02/2026 21:26

I’ve not really seen it to be honest so maybe seems less generic to me. It’s the ‘you are ours’ bit I can’t quite work out! That feels very parents to child to me. What’s the relationship?

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Other way round - child to parents.

I don't think it's generic, I mean this relative keeps reusing it like it's now a thing they always do.

OP posts:
Zov · 07/02/2026 21:27

StrawberryJamAndRaspberryPie · 07/02/2026 21:18

How lovely to have someone who wants you to know you are loved and cherished.

By saying 'you are OURS?!'

Bit creepy. 😳

Strawberrryfields · 07/02/2026 21:26

auserna · 07/02/2026 21:00

It's mainly my parents' cards I've seen when I've been staying there. I think what I particularly dislike about it, especially the "so grateful you are ours" part, is that it seems to get churned out now as a sort of (slightly weird) stock phrase, so it's not even spontaneous or original.

Yes, I keep nice cards from people.

Show quote history

I’ve not really seen it to be honest so maybe seems less generic to me. It’s the ‘you are ours’ bit I can’t quite work out! That feels very parents to child to me. What’s the relationship?

StrawberryJamAndRaspberryPie · 07/02/2026 21:18

How lovely to have someone who wants you to know you are loved and cherished.

Zov · 07/02/2026 21:16

Also @auserna what relative? Mother? Gran? Sibling? Cousin? Aunt?

Zov · 07/02/2026 21:15

What do they mean 'you are ours?'

That alone is a bit odd!

BauhausOfEliott · 07/02/2026 21:12

I suspect they feel guilty about never telling you they love and appreciate you, and don’t know how to say it in person.

I’d find it odd if my mum started signing cards like that, but my mum has no problem with telling us all that she loves us, so she doesn’t need to compensate.

I’m not a very emotional or earnest person myself, but given the choice of a parent who never expressed any love or gratitude at all, and a parent who was a bit OTT in greetings cards, I’d still pick the latter.

User1367349 · 07/02/2026 21:10

dermalermalurd · 07/02/2026 21:02

maybe don’t knock it when people are trying to show appreciation. It may not come easily to them but it may feel important to them to let you know. However awkward it seems.

I agree with this. And think that parents not telling their children they love them is much weirder.

dermalermalurd · 07/02/2026 21:02

maybe don’t knock it when people are trying to show appreciation. It may not come easily to them but it may feel important to them to let you know. However awkward it seems.

Strangerthanfictions · 07/02/2026 21:02

auserna · 07/02/2026 19:54

A relative of mine has started signing all their cards something along the lines of, "All our love, now and always. We are so grateful that you are ours."

We are not an overly sentimental family. I don't recall either of my parents ever saying "I love you" to me, my siblings or each other.

AIBU to want to vomit a little at the turn of phrase or am I the most misanthropic curmudgeon out there?

My papa did this as he got older and we all laughed it off I'd give anything for one of his ridiculously sentimental cards now, even to have kept one from years ago. He meant it, bless him

Original poster
auserna · 07/02/2026 21:01

TheSquareMile · 07/02/2026 20:59

I wonder whether the person concerned has begun to receive online cards from other friends from websites like the US based site, 123cards. 123cards has lots of cards with that kind of sentiment, which might be described as "schmaltzy".

I can imagine someone thinking how nice the lovely phrase is and writing it down to use in actual paper cards.

Ah, that's interesting. She does have some connections with the States.

OP posts:
Original poster
auserna · 07/02/2026 21:00

Strawberrryfields · 07/02/2026 20:41

Ah come on it’s not even in your card so don’t really see the issue (maybe stop reading other people’s cards!) It sounds like maybe a parent to a child and in that case, if they’re genuinely loving and it’s not empty words, I think it’s quite sweet.

Out of interest do you ever keep your cards OP? I do if someone’s taken the time to write a nice message and not everyone finds it easy to express their love in person (even if they show it) so writing it down is a way to share how they really feel.

Show quote history

It's mainly my parents' cards I've seen when I've been staying there. I think what I particularly dislike about it, especially the "so grateful you are ours" part, is that it seems to get churned out now as a sort of (slightly weird) stock phrase, so it's not even spontaneous or original.

Yes, I keep nice cards from people.

OP posts:
TheSquareMile · 07/02/2026 20:59

I wonder whether the person concerned has begun to receive online cards from other friends from websites like the US based site, 123cards. 123cards has lots of cards with that kind of sentiment, which might be described as "schmaltzy".

I can imagine someone thinking how nice the lovely phrase is and writing it down to use in actual paper cards.

Pingypongy · 07/02/2026 20:59

My ILs are like this and it makes me feel a bit sick because we have very little to do with them most of the time and then they send these OTT messages in cards etc. yuck!

Original poster
auserna · 07/02/2026 20:57

Thesummer · 07/02/2026 20:45

Do they also post family selfies on social media at Christmas time in matching pyjamas with the caption 'merry Christmas from our family to yours' 🤮

Actually no, to be fair.

OP posts:
Auroraloves · 07/02/2026 20:55

TellMeSomethingGoodAboutMrSchuAndHisTightBreeks · 07/02/2026 19:58

It's a little weird they have just started doing it, I would assume something has happened that has made them reevaluate relationships.

The weirdest thing about your post is your parents never telling you they love you imo.

Totally agree with this he last sentence of your post. I can’t believe some parents don’t tell their children that they love them

cantthinkofagoodusername1 · 07/02/2026 20:52

I understand this. I feel annoyed when I see my mother post photos of us on social media wishing us a happy birthday and using phrases like 'love you to the moon and back', when she has never told us she loves us in person, and in fact used to tell us on a regular basis that she hates us and wishes we were never born. I think this new thing of hers is to keep up appearances.

Vaguelyclassical · 07/02/2026 20:50

auserna · 07/02/2026 20:35

Totally agree that actions mean more than words.

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But it doesn't have to be either/or! To say I love you is not by definition to be overly sentimental. And loving words, honestly meant, deeply felt (and yeah ideally not in Hallmarkspeak because I am a language snob) are rather wonderful things.

SaulHudsonDavidJones · 07/02/2026 20:48

So weird and definitely twee!

LemaxObsessive · 07/02/2026 20:48

My god do you really have time to find issue with something so insignificant?

Happyjoe · 07/02/2026 20:47

Pollyanna87 · 07/02/2026 20:31

I think it’s very sweet. You have my sympathy that your parents never said they love you, that’s awful.

My parents never said it either. Became a bit of a joke between my brothers and I when we visited as much older adults - told them we loved them as leaving, just to stand back and watch them fluster. Ha.

Thesummer · 07/02/2026 20:45

Do they also post family selfies on social media at Christmas time in matching pyjamas with the caption 'merry Christmas from our family to yours' 🤮

Happyjoe · 07/02/2026 20:43

Luckily I come from a family who would send stupid cards, not sentimental ones so I hear you OP! The possessiveness is a tad weird too.

Partners family were the same. My late FIL sent his son a card, just like you mention, full of twee, rhyming sentimental crap which took my other half by surprise upon first glance..
He signed it 'Dear son, have a great birthday bollock chops, love Dad' to undo the twee. I presume was the only card he could find. We mentioned at his funeral as was so like my FIL. a good ol' East Londoner. 😁

Original poster
auserna · 07/02/2026 20:43

Rehab4rightmove · 07/02/2026 20:39

Apart from posting on social media?

Bit of a dramatic reaction imo

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Rolling my eyes is a dramatic reaction or posting on social media? Either way, I'd hardly say dramatic.

OP posts:
Strawberrryfields · 07/02/2026 20:41

auserna · 07/02/2026 20:12

Oh I don't get it in my cards. I think she knows what my reaction would be! (I meant all the cards she writes to other people - at least the ones I happen to see).

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Ah come on it’s not even in your card so don’t really see the issue (maybe stop reading other people’s cards!) It sounds like maybe a parent to a child and in that case, if they’re genuinely loving and it’s not empty words, I think it’s quite sweet.

Out of interest do you ever keep your cards OP? I do if someone’s taken the time to write a nice message and not everyone finds it easy to express their love in person (even if they show it) so writing it down is a way to share how they really feel.