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AIBU?

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Original poster

To find this nauseatingly twee

116 replies

auserna · 07/02/2026 19:54

A relative of mine has started signing all their cards something along the lines of, "All our love, now and always. We are so grateful that you are ours."

We are not an overly sentimental family. I don't recall either of my parents ever saying "I love you" to me, my siblings or each other.

AIBU to want to vomit a little at the turn of phrase or am I the most misanthropic curmudgeon out there?

OP posts:
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Original poster
auserna · 16/02/2026 12:57

Well she surpassed herself recently. "How lucky are we that you are ours. We are so thankful for everything you are and everything you do that makes life as sweet as it is. We love you. Today and always."

I know it's sweet, but jeez... Maybe I'm just bitter because afaic life isn't "sweet". Far from it. My upbringing was not entirely happy and having parents who weren't very emotionally demonstrative has left me finding relationships very difficult as an adult.

OP posts:
PaddingtonsMarmaladeSandwich · 10/02/2026 00:18

auserna · 07/02/2026 19:54

A relative of mine has started signing all their cards something along the lines of, "All our love, now and always. We are so grateful that you are ours."

We are not an overly sentimental family. I don't recall either of my parents ever saying "I love you" to me, my siblings or each other.

AIBU to want to vomit a little at the turn of phrase or am I the most misanthropic curmudgeon out there?

Sounds like they are trying to be demonstrative and loving - could be worse!

Hummingbird10 · 10/02/2026 00:15

What? In my opinion I think this is really lovely., You're a long time dead. I think they mean well.

IThoughtIdHeardItAll · 09/02/2026 19:41

Well…. It’s not your style - it’s not mine 🤷🏻‍♀️, but brave of relative to make an attempt to show the love. I think it’s sweet but I wouldn’t do it. I was lambasted by a relative for joking about all the ‘enjoy the rest of your day’ stuff we get in supermarkets now, and saying it was a very USA kind of thing. A bit like your relative’s comment maybe. But it’s harmless and so what at the end of the day.

Deboragh · 09/02/2026 11:21

auserna · 07/02/2026 19:54

A relative of mine has started signing all their cards something along the lines of, "All our love, now and always. We are so grateful that you are ours."

We are not an overly sentimental family. I don't recall either of my parents ever saying "I love you" to me, my siblings or each other.

AIBU to want to vomit a little at the turn of phrase or am I the most misanthropic curmudgeon out there?

Is it the new ' hun' or ' live , laugh love' type of wank.

TheEighthDwarf · 09/02/2026 09:17

echt · 07/02/2026 20:16

I was about to say the same thing, though born in the mid-50s.

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Ditto. And there’s absolutely no need for anyone to ‘feel sad’ because of me or fir me.

Snakebite61 · 09/02/2026 08:58

auserna · 07/02/2026 19:54

A relative of mine has started signing all their cards something along the lines of, "All our love, now and always. We are so grateful that you are ours."

We are not an overly sentimental family. I don't recall either of my parents ever saying "I love you" to me, my siblings or each other.

AIBU to want to vomit a little at the turn of phrase or am I the most misanthropic curmudgeon out there?

Nothing wrong with that. As long as they mean it.

JustAMiddleAgedDirtBagBaby · 09/02/2026 07:23

Earlier in the thread I said I was sure my dad had never said 'I love you' to me. A memory has surfaced that once, when DH and I had had some devastating news, he wrote it in a letter.

At that time it was so incredibly meaningful (as I said before I've never doubted he loved me, he just didn't talk about it!), that I wouldn't swap it for a lifetime of him telling me every day.

Original poster
auserna · 08/02/2026 22:32

Noononoo · 08/02/2026 20:51

I think some people aren’t confident enough to say emotional things but can at a distance in time and space . I think it’s sincere and they feel better for having expressed their love for you. Then they don’t have to say it. OR they are sentimental cliches. I’d be touched anyway. You are being a bit curmudgeonly but you’re their curmudgeonly 🤗🫣

Haha! 😆

OP posts:
Alcoholrecovery · 08/02/2026 22:20

auserna · 07/02/2026 20:06

I don't know if they've said it to each other. They say it in cards. I have no memory of them ever saying it to me, no. Possibly my mum, but not my dad.

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Same here with the parents. I don’t remember ever hearing the love word. And not to my siblings either. And most definitely my parents didn’t say it to each other.
just jumped on your thread to say this sorry!

KnittingSister · 08/02/2026 22:14

Fascinated by the idea of parents being supposed to say I love you, never heard that, nor we're proud of you, still not sure I know it today (I'm in my 50's).

Owly11 · 08/02/2026 21:41

So you are having a swipe at your sister - good old fashioned sibling rivalry. I would suggest stop reading other people's cards and the problem is solved.

Jopo12 · 08/02/2026 21:35

I started saying "I love you" when my dad was given a terminal diagnosis for pancreatic cancer.

We were never slushy, I avoid sickly twee birthday cards, but please learn to say "love you" at every opportunity because one day the other person might not be there to say it to.

Noononoo · 08/02/2026 20:51

I think some people aren’t confident enough to say emotional things but can at a distance in time and space . I think it’s sincere and they feel better for having expressed their love for you. Then they don’t have to say it. OR they are sentimental cliches. I’d be touched anyway. You are being a bit curmudgeonly but you’re their curmudgeonly 🤗🫣

Laura95167 · 08/02/2026 20:06

Its a bit much, but its from family not a neighbour or colleague. Let it go, theyre trying to say they love you. That matters

Buffs · 08/02/2026 19:43

FiftyShadesOfPurple · 07/02/2026 20:00

I wonder if something has happened in your relative's life to make them conscious of mortality - perhaps a friend outside the family has died or become seriously ill, that kind of thing - and they've decided to tell their family they love them 'before it's too late'.

It's not your style, which is fair enough, but I think it's a little curmudgeonly to object unless it's a clear example of hypocrisy, i.e. they are gushing in cards but being callous or spiteful in real life.

Exactly this. There is nothing wrong with what they are saying per se but only you, who presumably know them, can judge whether the sentiment is genuine or not.

Docswife · 08/02/2026 18:43

As someone with a highly dysfunctional/abusive family I think you are being VVU. OK it's twee... but they love you. You are very, very lucky.

Blodwynne · 08/02/2026 18:28

Might they be on mumsnet?

PhotoFirePoet · 08/02/2026 18:14

Your relative likely read it elsewhere and liked it so much that they decided to use it themselves. I admit to using something similarly…There is a character called Janet in US comedy The Good Place who said “Hi there” and I use it sometimes in messages to people eg on Vinted. Don’t care if it’s twee either, as I like it!

NeverDropYourMooncup · 08/02/2026 18:10

I'm wondering whether posters who say it's weird/creepy/whatever would be willing to confirm that they have never told and would never, ever, tell their children that they love them. If that's the case, why?

BunnyLake · 08/02/2026 18:02

PinkyFlamingo · 07/02/2026 20:00

That's really sad your parents never actually said I love you.

My parents never did but we knew we were loved. I don’t think it was that common back in the 60s/70s. I said it to my kids all the time though.

Everyone just gets a ‘lots of love’ from me on cards. I’ve never been very sentimental or slushy though.

Miranda65 · 08/02/2026 15:37

You are not wrong, OP. Also, the implication of ownership ("you are ours") is just creepy.
However, bizarrely, some people like sentimental claptrap..... I guess we're all different?!

ASometimeThing · 08/02/2026 15:35

My parents never said ‘I love you’ to us, nor each other. They would write it in cards, but never say it. Sad, but that was typical of their generation. When our children came along and would fling their arms around their necks and say ‘I love you!’ to them, they had to reciprocate but it didn’t come easy.

Our young adults kids never sign off from a phone call to us without saying ‘I love you’ and vice versa. My girlfriends and I say it often too. I’m so glad our generations are not as stilted.

Wtfdoidoplease · 08/02/2026 15:19

NoKnickerElastic · 07/02/2026 23:40

I haven't read all of this but I'm picking up it's unusual for parents not to tell kids "I love you ". My parents have never said those words, their actions show they do. But is it really unusual to have never been told it?

Yes I would say it’s quite unusual to not be told I love you by your parents. But I think it depends on how old you are. Parents have generally become more demonstrative and aware of what children need emotionally as time has gone on.

Wtfdoidoplease · 08/02/2026 15:16

auserna · 08/02/2026 06:13

That's a reach! I'd be astonished if that's the case, although I guess it's not absolutely impossible.

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A lot of people have therapy and don’t tell their families!

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