Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Should men be using soap to wash their beef flute?

167 replies

TeenyWeenyPolkaDotPeeny · 07/02/2026 17:44

Just that really.

OP posts:
JustNotFeelingItToday · 07/02/2026 19:12

But why beef? Beef is brown unless it's raw. Whilst there are some brown penises there are also many that are not.

It just doesn't really make any sense? Unless I'm missing something.

OriginalSkang · 07/02/2026 19:12

I wash all my external parts with organic, mildly scented, soap and have never had thrush

Womaninhouse17 · 07/02/2026 19:11

Soap can be very drying. Using a moisturising gel or an emollient for washing might be a better solution.

Soonenough · 07/02/2026 19:09

Beef jerky more like . And a bit of carbolic soap 🫧 🧼 with a nail brush should ensure that just washed freshness all men aspire to .

Blondeshavemorefun · 07/02/2026 19:06

I’ve heard of beef Curtains or beef flaps

but never a beef flute

guess gonna be a triple meat sarnie

PistachioTiramisu · 07/02/2026 19:04

Waitingfordoggo · 07/02/2026 19:03

You can almost certainly guess from the replies, no?

Show quote history

Now I do yes - but what a horrible term. Why can't people just say 'penis' or 'bits'?

Waitingfordoggo · 07/02/2026 19:03

PistachioTiramisu · 07/02/2026 18:55

Could someone please explain what on earth 'beef flute' means?

You can almost certainly guess from the replies, no?

CinnamonBuns67 · 07/02/2026 19:02

I'm calling it a beef flute from now on 🤣 in all seriousness though yes men should use soap on, perhaps they should switch to one thats fragrance free/sensitive skin if they're having trouble with thrush.

IdaGlossop · 07/02/2026 19:00

Today I have learnt that my mum taught my brother wrongly! She used to trill through the closed bathroom door: 'Have you pulled your foreskin back?' The soap in our bathroom (1970s) was Wright's Coal Tar. Yikes.

LindorDoubleChoc · 07/02/2026 19:00

Is this "12 Year Olds.net" all of a sudden?

IdaGlossop · 07/02/2026 18:57

TheMorgenmuffel · 07/02/2026 18:42

I wonder why its called a blow job. Surely it should be be a suck job.

I have wasted years of my life wondering this very thing. The French have a better grasp of the mechanics. They say 'Make a pipe '.

TalulahJP · 07/02/2026 18:57

i domt know whether to laugh vomit or order a beef burger for dinner. i am quite hungry….

be under no illusions, if soap isn’t used on pishy bits they smell like haddock not beef lol.

i domt miss having a man about the house AT ALL
i think i will go to mcdonald’s after all….

NorthXNorthWest · 07/02/2026 18:56

ExtraOnions · 07/02/2026 17:44

Penis Beaker

😂There's a blast from the past.

PistachioTiramisu · 07/02/2026 18:55

Could someone please explain what on earth 'beef flute' means?

godmum56 · 07/02/2026 18:54

Wolfpa · 07/02/2026 17:50

Beef flute, you are blowing it wrong if it plays a tune.

I hear that the mint herbal essence shower gel works wonders to clean a penis.

naughty!

WhatterySquash · 07/02/2026 18:53

ssquareeyess · 07/02/2026 17:57

I haven't played the beef flute in 4 years and my god I don't miss it.

Sometimes I think being in a relationship again might be nice, but then a thread like this reminds me of BJs and stinky “flutes” and I’m so relieved to be single.

Solost92 · 07/02/2026 18:51

Ew yes they should use soap. Women don't use soap becuase their vagina is internal. You need to wash all your external parts with soap. Especially the ones in your sweaty, shitty pants. God I feel sorry for his missus.

On the subject of women washing though. We wash the external parts with soap right?

LlynTegid · 07/02/2026 18:51

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 07/02/2026 18:50

I bet loads of them don't.

Show quote history

Many of them though fully clothed at the time travel on buses and trains.

LlynTegid · 07/02/2026 18:51

TheMorgenmuffel · 07/02/2026 18:42

I wonder why its called a blow job. Surely it should be be a suck job.

Susie Dent won't cover it on Countdown in her 'origin of words' section, though on 8 out of 10 cats does Countdown I can imagine Jimmy Carr would ask.

I recall somewhere it being an abbreviation for 'below job' as in below the belt.

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 07/02/2026 18:50

DollopOfFun · 07/02/2026 17:46

Do you know any men who AREN'T using soap??

I bet loads of them don't.

Woodfiresareamazing · 07/02/2026 18:49

ExtraOnions · 07/02/2026 17:44

Penis Beaker

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

MasculineProviderEnergy · 07/02/2026 18:49

I know an unfortunate woman whose partner communicates that he wants sex by washing his penis for her. But I dont know if he uses soap or not.

I thinks sometimes people dont rinse soap for long enough, and quite frankly, this can lead to fishy smells in both sexes.

Flannelfeet · 07/02/2026 18:48

TeenyWeenyPolkaDotPeeny · 07/02/2026 18:43

I think that’s just because the term blow job feels classier than suck job. I can’t imagine dame Judy Dench offering her fella a suck job.

Show quote history

Im forever blowing bubbleeessssss 😆 🤣 😂

Dillydollydingdong · 07/02/2026 18:48

I don't use soap on my delicate membranes. I don't use it on my face either; just water.

Lemondrizzle4A · 07/02/2026 18:48

Today on here has been classic what with this thread and the equally hilarious
One about plucking my pubic hair. I haven’t laughed so much in ages. Thank you all.