To let you all know that the Child Maintenance Service..

Don’t all come at me as I see things from both sides. Unfortunately there is never going to be a system that is fair for both sides.
I see a lot of comments moaning about reduction for other children bio or not. No one moans when the “mum” moves a new partner in that then helps support her children. Not all but it seems a lot of people want the men to stay single and not move on with their life when they can… I hate the fact that grown adults want other children to suffer just so theirs don’t. The reduction isn’t much.

not all but resident parents are just as bad as non paying parents as they will restrict contact so their payments are not reduced.

no one on here does their monthly budget on their gross salary, so who ever came up with that idea must of been on drugs. So I am not surprised men leave their jobs.

taking driving license or passport isn’t enough, many could live without so not really a scare tactic.

cms put my ex in arrears, he wasn’t he paid every month they upped his payment I gave him back the difference as cms was lying. cms put my partner in arrears made him pay extra after years of fighting proving they were wrong our fake arrears disappeared. Did he get a reduction for the over payment??? The only way he would get the money back was to take the ex wife to small claims court which would not of benefited the kids.

women will say the system is on the males side, males will say it’s on the women side… cms is not on either side especially children’s!!

so how do we make a system that is fair for everyone and have all Children’s best interests at the heart of it?

Despite all the many many shit shows going on the uk and worldwide... this is very much in my top 5 top peeves and I would probably vote for anyone who would could sort it out
One thing the US sorts properly?

Bit difficult if your job is van driver or bus driver, for example. And not being able to prove ID as there's no valid licence or passport makes it much, much harder to get a job (cuts out a lot of roles that would be served by public transport, such as NHS, Education, Local Authorities and the like - the DBS checks are far more difficult when there isn't either of those documents (and many employers including those, will say 'sorry, no, not without passport and driving licence').

The thing is, it wouldn't take the removal of many driving licenses or charges on houses for it to become known that the new maintenance service doesn't take any shit.

Men don't pay (and the vast amount of non payers are men) because there are no consequences.

If the consequences actually were more likely than not more would pay.

Just as if it became socially unacceptable more men would pay.

If there was an actual real chance of losing your driving license, being seen as a dick by your mates and rejected by potential girlfriends the number of non payers would drop instantly.

Let us now compare this with what happens if you are a 93 year old woman who stops paying her council tax.

Within 3 months you get taken to court. At which point a CCJ is put on in your absence.

They then quickly contact bailiffs. Who started sending pretty awful letters.

What they don’t do is think “hmmm - 93 - I wonder if there is a reason she suddenly stopped paying her council tax - perhaps I should contact social services to do a check on this.” Nope they go straight to court then bailiffs.

This was my gran. She was in the early stages of dementia and we think had forgotten how to pay bills. Or possibly thought that my grandfather would pay them. (Except he had been dead 15 years.) We don’t really know.

Amazing what the government can and will do about claiming unpaid money when it is their money.

Because parents are the ones who get themselves in the messes they create in the first place and as usual expect everyone else to fix the problems they created

And if parenrd focus on the children they have and not blending and breeding more them maybe there would less pressure of the organisation in the first place?

CMS is worked out to be the absolute legal minimum you need to pay towards your child.

Some dad's being told they have to pay more than the legal minimum is hardly comparable to the thousands and thousands of women getting absolutely nothing, and isn't an urgent problem that needs fixing.

When they sort out the shambles that's resulting in Mums having to use food banks and clothing banks just to get by because these men are avoiding paying for their own kids the powers at be can look at the men being forced to pay more than the minimum for their kids.

The system isn't fit for purpose, but it overwhelmingly effects women.

The problem with bringing up the fact some men feel screwed over every time this issue is discussed is that we all know what would get fixed first if a CMS overhaul were to happen, and it wouldn't be them suddenly deciding women have the raw end of the deal.

Because ALL children should be equal. No child asked for parents to split up or get a new partner.

my money was reduced as my ex moved in with a woman who had 4 kids then they went on to have 4 more. It wasn’t the children’s fault they still deserved food on the table and shoes on their feet.

my partners payment went down £10 a month when we had our child.

My ex has been found to have been declaring the wrong income. He has been declaring £28k a year which was his income from 2020 (self employed)

He now owes me and my children roughly £30k, and they’re doing nothing about it. They already wrote off £7k from 2019. He has offered £1k to write it all off 🙄

Now he had been found out he is saying he now only works 2 days a week, which I know is untrue. We should be like America where they’re penalised for dropping hours and lowering salaries.

We were together for 20 years until I ended the relationship, and now he’s being allowed to financially abuse us.

Surely it’s about the cms not being fit for purpose all round.
if the system was done correctly then all parties would be treated equally and more absent parents would support their child

Pittance?! I was on both sides so have sympathy for all.

how many times do you work out your weekly/monthly budget on your gross pay?? Guess the answer is 0. The absent parent is being calculated on money they do not bring home.

And what you do get via CMS isn’t index linked. Mine has stayed at the same rate for the last 7 years despite high inflation - so a decrease in real terms.

You are correct that the majority of paying parents are fathers - 93% according to this (point 7)

https://www.gov.uk/government/statistics/child-maintenance-service-statistics-data-to-june-2025/child-maintenance-service-statistics-data-to-june-2025

This x1000000000.
I think there possibly would be a way for argue discrimination if the UK was still part of Europe. Of course it’s discriminatory. The CMS has to be the shittest organisation of the British state. It all amounts to another win for the patriarchy at women’s’ expense.

It’s an absolute SCANDAL. I honestly believe in years to come people will look back and be horrified.

I’ll only believe a government really cares about women and equality when they overhaul the CMS. It’s really quite unbelievable how it perpetuates inequality for women in 2025 as if we are living in the Victorian era.

Oh yes my ex had 100k in the bank at one point from the divorce settlement (he’s probably since spent it on women) but that is irrelevant to CMS who only look at income, not capital.

So back in 2006, my DD's dad walked out on us. I had to claim Income Support (as it was then), and in those days you only got to keep £20 of any maintenance paid, the rest was deducted from your benefits.

ExP didn't want to pay maintenance, so he didn't have to. It was that simple.

For the next 5 years that I was claiming, the CSA (as it was then) rang me twice a year at 10am on a Sunday. Bang on every six months. Wanting to know where ExP lived and where he worked etc. I told them every time. Gave them the address of his mum's where he was living. Told them where he was working. Thank you, they said, that's very helpful.

They sent him a letter to his mum's address twice a year which he ignored. After 5 years they closed the case and wrote off his debt (which totalled several thousands at that point), but didn't tell me until some months later. I complained and got £150 in compensation. They then reopened the case but never "found" (or apparently even looked for) ExP.

DD is now 23 and it looks like fuck all has changed!

I particularly find only the taxable income part a total joke.

Men just have no shame, do they?

Imagine not paying for your own flesh and blood to have the best life they can.

Take away the non-payers’ passports and driver licences and make them wear a cone of shame.

Quite frankly I couldn't give less of a fuck that a few fathers may be 'overpaying' (likely still not anywhere near the cost of raising a child.

Every single time someone on MN talks about an issue that mainly effects women, someone always comes along with their "what about the menz" nonsense.

If its that much of a concern then start a thread about the poor fellas having to contribute more than they would like towards their kids.

And don’t forget he now becomes the father to his new girlfriend’s children.

I’ve never understood how a man’s CMS payment can be reduced by the fact his current live in girlfriend has kids (not his) even if she also gets CMS from her kids’ father.

Do you? It sounds like you do. Interested in the statistics on this.

Its discrimination on an instituational scale - the service should be taken to the international court of human rights for its state sanctioned financial abuse of women and children.

Id love to see some real, unbiased stats to show how many men are "overpaying" vs how many are underpaying/not paying at all.

Worth noting that the CMS amounts are the minimum you have to pay. You are allowed to pay more.

The women voting YABU are probably the same ones who complain that the pittance their partner pays for his own children is too much. There's a bizarre perception in our society that once a man splits up with his children's mother, he stops being their father and becomes a sort of uncle.

My heart bleeds for the poor fathers