To let you all know that the Child Maintenance Service..

And there lays the issue

“On some occasions it ok for men to be considered last”

it’s not ok for either side to be considered last!! Children need both parents (except if there is abuse) hence why we need a system that works for the children not greedy RP or dodgy NRP.

Sorry if your ex doesn’t pay but your last comment shows why cms will never make people happy.

My experience with the CMS. Have 2 DC with ex.

He used to pay, not always on time and not a lot. But he did. Then he met his now wife.

I received a letter from CMS stating that as he now had responsibility for 2 more DC (not his) my maintenance was reduced.

Then they (ex and wife) decided that I didn't need actual money one month. A bag of her sons cast offs were a suitable replacement. Strangely my DC can't eat clothes, and his old stretched out of shape/faded summer clothes weren't much help in November.

Then he accidentally sent me a message meant for her saying how much he hated living in his flat and not with her. I assume this was so she could still claim as a single parent. So I forwarded this info to CMS. After all, the reduction for her dc is no longer applicable if he's moved out. They said there was no evidence that I hadn't faked the message and I needed to prove he lived elsewhere. His phone number (which they had on record) was shown in the screenshots.

He then quit his job as apparently she couldn't cope with 2 DC on her own, they had 3 more and CMS decided he couldn't afford to pay anything but would persue him for the debts.

They told me over the years that they can't take his driving license away as he needs it to get a job. I don't have one, but UC have never accepted that as a reason I can't work. Seeing as there's a thing called public transport!

Last I heard they'd decided to wipe the debts as he can't pay them and DC are adults now. Which is so kind of them as I'm being threatened by bailiffs for debts I've accrued over the years of not having enough money. Maybe if they actually did their job I could sort that out. Wonder if the bailiffs will wipe my debt on the basis that I can't afford it

CMS are a fucking disgrace.

My claims are absolutely correct.

I don't believe that you've personally witnesses multiple occasions of thousands of pounds being randomly added, no.

Men are not choosing to end their life imply due to 12% of their gross wage. As I say there will be significant other factors going on. If the parents were together then more than 12% of their wages would be going towards the chikd anyway.

I imagine their has been a few payments calculated incorrectly through the years, but until the problem for the vast majority is sorted out I really don't care tbh.

On some occasions its OK for men to be considered last.

yes If the NRP moves in with other children there is a reduction made. Very small reduction. Surely as adults we wouldn’t want other children to go without basic living standards because they are not our blood?!
yep they could quit their job (which I don’t actually agree with) and live off their partner but that can also be said for the rp they could rely solely on their new partner and their ex to pay towards the children and not actually contribute financially at all. Both situations do happen.

Jail doesn’t seem to be the answer as the children still won’t get any money. But agree with your point something has to happen. Maybe a police tag so they can still find employment but their social life is impacted as they can be set curfews 🤷🏻‍♀️

it’s not about men paying towards the children that is the issue for many. It’s about finding a way that is best for all. Which I believe is unachievable

The system absolutely works in the NRPs favour the vast majority of the time.

They get to pay less if they move in with someone with kids. They can quit work and live off their partner. They can go self employed and hide money. They can continually change jobs to avoid paying.

If the RP neglected to pay for food, clothes, heating etc for their child they would be jailed for abuse. Surely your version of equality means that non paying NRPs should also be jailed for neglect?

Who knew that the suggestion of men paying towards the children they created would be so controversial.

Unfortunately your statements are completely wrong.

yes men have died due to false calculations. Gavin Briggs being just one to name.
It’s not 12% of their net wage it’s 12% of gross wage that you must admit would cause financial difficulties as no one works out a budget on gross pay.

Believe what you want about false arrears it’s fact and been proven many times.

The system is set up to go after the easy targets and leave the job hoppers etc alone.

My exh was threatened with passport removal. That made him pay up. He spent years avoiding making payments in the end he had to pay all the back payments though to avoid losing his passport. He was terrified of losing his holidays.

The court order, whether adhered to or not is proof enough for CMS. They take the evidence of a court order over the word of the RP.

Women wanting men to contribute something towards their kids doesn't cause death. Nobody is going to end their life over 12% of their wages without other very significant factors going on in their life.

I'm very sure that you're so involved with the CMS payments of people that you've personally seen thousands of arrears multiple times 🤨

If arrears happen then that's because there has been a significant payrise or bonus that hasn't been declared, which is entirely on the person paying, they should declare it.

The system is entirely set up to favour men. That's not equality.

Not once have I said nrp shouldn’t pay. I have stated that the system should be equal to both sides on working out how much is affordable.
People forget that children are at the core of this. Be it bio or non bio children.

This system is not working for Rp and NRP it needs a complete overhaul. The system is always going to be criticised as there is no one size fit all

So both parents should pay equally then.

Thank goodness you finally admitted it.

Court orders are not worth the paper they are written on. So easy to break for the RP then guess what the NRP can’t afford to go back to court time and time again as their cms payments take any spare money they have.

you would think it was easy to prove. I have seen examples of payments being made every month but each year £1000 of arrears appeared on their account at renewal time. Guess what their payment went up to cover arrears that were false.

I don’t see it as a punishment, I see it can be used as a form of abuse to both sides. What grates me is when women want equality but they are happy for a system to in some cases cause death. That’s not equality

If a RP is restricting contact get a court order. CMS will take that as proof even if the RP is still restricting contact.

If the RP lies that the NRP has missed payments (which results in the RP getting less as well) then you can simply produce proof of the payments via a bank statement.

Interesting that you see CMS as a punishment though. Says it all really.

Nope… it’s about equality for both sides with children’s best interests put first which many people forget when it comes to money!

You sound like a dude.

Unfortunately especially on this site people (mostly women) will never see it from both sides. Only what they can get for themselves (sorry I mean the children). People on here will not admit that women use the children for financial gain by restricting contact.
Bored of seeing oh cms favours the NRP, is that why RP can call up lie that payments are missed demand collect and pay but it’s on the NRP to prove its lies and nothing happens to the RP.

Cms seem to punish the ones that are willing to pay as they are easy targets and can’t be bothered to chase NRP who are playing the system

Unfortunately especially on this site people (mostly women) will never see it from both sides. Only what they can get for themselves (sorry I mean the children). People on here will not admit that women use the children for financial gain by restricting contact.
Bored of seeing oh cms favours the NRP, is that why RP can call up lie that payments are missed demand collect and pay but it’s on the NRP to prove its lies and nothing happens to the RP.

Cms seem to punish the ones that are willing to pay as they are easy targets and can’t be bothered to chase NRP who are playing the system

So the solution to them not paying would be to make it impossible to pay anything?

That's a modern equivalent of a debtors' prison where people were imprisoned for debt and couldn't be released unless they paid off the debt, but had no means by which to earn money to pay the debt. A Catch-22 paradox.

The consequence of removing the ability to pass pre-employment checks, to be automatically excluded or at least always discounted upon application from a huge number of roles, to be unable to open bank accounts, accept deliveries, prove name, prove a right to receive medical treatment other than emergencies, no proof of right to work, make it damn near impossible to get a phone, somewhere to live or in many places (as per the regular threads about how it's impossible to work/live without a car outside London and that it's a fundamental part of adulting to drive) get to work would fundamentally be a punitive punishment of destitution for leaving the woman - or of being left - without paying substantial ongoing compensatory damages for the hurt to feelings.

It's not about the children when the proposed penalty would make it impossible for many to pay anything. It's not about the children when the proposed penalty would make it impossible for the NRP to have a home where the children would maintain contact with their other parent. It's not about the children when it's all about destroying the ex at all costs - it's about scorched earth vengeance for being the person the RP decided to reproduce with and is angrily regretting their choice.

None of that would have been any good for my children or our relationship.

So the solution to them not paying would be to make it impossible to pay anything?

That's a modern equivalent of a debtors' prison where people were imprisoned for debt and couldn't be released unless they paid off the debt, but had no means by which to earn money to pay the debt. A Catch-22 paradox.

The consequence of removing the ability to pass pre-employment checks, to be automatically excluded or at least always discounted upon application from a huge number of roles, to be unable to open bank accounts, accept deliveries, prove name, prove a right to receive medical treatment other than emergencies, no proof of right to work, make it damn near impossible to get a phone, somewhere to live or in many places (as per the regular threads about how it's impossible to work/live without a car outside London and that it's a fundamental part of adulting to drive) get to work would fundamentally be a punitive punishment of destitution for leaving the woman - or of being left - without paying substantial ongoing compensatory damages for the hurt to feelings.

It's not about the children when the proposed penalty would make it impossible for many to pay anything. It's not about the children when the proposed penalty would make it impossible for the NRP to have a home where the children would maintain contact with their other parent. It's not about the children when it's all about destroying the ex at all costs - it's about scorched earth vengeance for being the person the RP decided to reproduce with and is angrily regretting their choice.

None of that would have been any good for my children or our relationship.

So the solution to them not paying would be to make it impossible to pay anything?

That's a modern equivalent of a debtors' prison where people were imprisoned for debt and couldn't be released unless they paid off the debt, but had no means by which to earn money to pay the debt. A Catch-22 paradox.

The consequence of removing the ability to pass pre-employment checks, to be automatically excluded or at least always discounted upon application from a huge number of roles, to be unable to open bank accounts, accept deliveries, prove name, prove a right to receive medical treatment other than emergencies, no proof of right to work, make it damn near impossible to get a phone, somewhere to live or in many places (as per the regular threads about how it's impossible to work/live without a car outside London and that it's a fundamental part of adulting to drive) get to work would fundamentally be a punitive punishment of destitution for leaving the woman - or of being left - without paying substantial ongoing compensatory damages for the hurt to feelings.

It's not about the children when the proposed penalty would make it impossible for many to pay anything. It's not about the children when the proposed penalty would make it impossible for the NRP to have a home where the children would maintain contact with their other parent. It's not about the children when it's all about destroying the ex at all costs - it's about scorched earth vengeance for being the person the RP decided to reproduce with and is angrily regretting their choice.

None of that would have been any good for my children or our relationship.