I was snobby, apparently

I don’t think you were being snobby. The point was that her photos could have been taken anywhere- there was nothing in the photos that appreciated the culture of the country. Two completely different holidays- she just wanted to eat burgers and drink beer in the sun and you wanted to appreciate the sights, culture and history of Italy.
She was rude and her comments about your daughter her uncalled for.

Fwiw her holiday did sound shit. I couldn’t be arsed to pack and fly just to sit in a hot Butlins

Why are people defending the OP's DS and family ganging up on her? The sister's comments were horrible and I think OP was pretty restrained in her response. It's all very well people coming up with "alternative responses" but in the heat of the moment it's not so easy to be a bloody saint. And it really isn't a matter of who prefers what holiday, it's a matter of being polite and not nasty about other people's choices.

People have their own kinds of pleasure with holidays.

From my experiences, I don't like those "live in the hotel bar for a fortnight" ones either.

When we don't have photos, it's because we're too busy actually experiencing our holiday and making unforgettable memories. People even go to the same resort, have all kinds of holidays, and have their own opinions on their time.

What I'd never do (except in private, obviously) is express how I feel about others' holidays. If they enjoyed it, good for them. Whatever they do/did has no effect on me, so whatever.

I frankly think it's disgusting that she said that to your face. At the very most, I might've said something along the lines of "Oh, that's very different to what you usually do" if applicable. You're perfectly justified, IMO.

Your holiday sounds fab
The other one sounds ghastly to me

But we all like different ways 🤷‍♂️

Your sis was so rude to you
No wonder you told her a home truth ❤️

I don't think you were being snobby. I'd have bitten too.

It's obviously going to be better for a child to be exposed to foreign culture and history than to be stuffed in a kids club and have junk food they have at home.

I'm with you but you have different approaches and telling her it was like Butlins (which sounds fair) is going to get her on the defensive. People who are feeling attacked will lash out so it was all a bit predictable.

Op I don’t know why your sister took offence butlins is very expensive I think you need to just remind her everyone likes to holiday different otherwise it would be boring if we all do the same type.and if you and dd enjoyed that’s all that matters and is she enjoys hers good for her. Not everyone wants to drink and leave kids in clubs some people like to sight see. You’re just very different neither boring.

I come across this with DB in a different way. I'm always told, quite insistanyly, I shouldn't research a destination or book things to do. He's gotten some family board and I've been picked on a lot, apparently theirs is the 'right' way to travel. They belive in no research & just walking out of their hotel & wandering about. We do a flexible itinerary which has a some pre-booked things, but everything else changes as needed. Found the most incredible open air museum on the outskirts of Tokyo quite randomly while eating our combini lunch, temples off the beaten path, and they still don't know what team labs is! We both have teens.

Anyway, I just say we have different travel styles for exploring and leave it at that. I don't engage.

She was rude asking for your photos, she was rude repeating her comments so it serves her right.

I would let it blow over. Sounds like you are in some competition with holidays and photos. Maybe you are both right and wrong and should leave it at that.

I’d prefer your holiday but I wouldn’t have reacted the way you did

I disagree. OP shouldn’t apologise to her sister who ridiculed her holiday and her parenting and only said one comment back about the holiday that was pretty benign.

Doubt her sister will apologise considering she’s playing victim and I bet if OP does apologise, the sister will take it as her being right and then blab it to the rest of the family.

Her sister enjoyed her holiday and went on and on about it and making out that they had a good time so why be offended that OP said hers look like Butlins if that is the type she likes and it is a factually correct?

OP’s sister threw out all sorts of assumptions and was wrong considering OP’s daughter is autistic and would not have enjoyed the holiday the sister took her kids on, and did enjoy her holiday but obviously that didn’t matter to OP’s sister.

The only think OP should do is be happy in the fact that she did right by her daughter and ignore her goady sister and enabling mother.

I can afford a Range Rover but I would absolutely never buy one, unless I went to live on a farm.

Not everyone values what you do.

Youv realy made me laugh about your comment "Shes a cheeky c..t"

Your sister sounds like a horrible bully, does she often put you down or try to make you feel weird/not normal?

I also would have taken offence at her comments about your DD surely being bored - especially if she knows DD is autistic and has special interests - it’s almost like she was putting her down as well, implying that a “normal” child (like her basic children) would be bored so there is something wrong with your daughter that she enjoyed herself without the garish water park and all inclusive buffet.

She sounds like a bully and you stood up to her so now she’s doubling down trying to get your family involved and ostracise you further. I think you need to protect yourself from this toxic situation OP.

You were a bit snobby.

But she was bloody rude and she wouldn't shut up and you were provoked, so meh.

I wonder why she felt so strongly about your holiday. You didn't go through her photos and say "where are the photos showing you looking at something picturesque/ artistic/ cultural" etc.

So what, be as snobby as you want to someone who was tiresome, rude and critical about your holiday. She got short shrift and she deserved it.

Your holiday sounds fab, any chance of the details? 😀

I'd say yes, a bit snobby. But not unjustified or uncalled for snobbery in the circumstances.

I don't think it's worse than the behaviour that provoked it, in fact it's not even as bad.

Yes this, I've been on one with my Mum a long long time ago to Cuba, and we did do loads of day trips, we didn't spend day after day in the resort, but it was still not for me and honestly the idea of repeating the experience fills me with horror. I am for sure a holiday snob, but I'm obviously nodding along enthusiastically whenever anyone is telling me about their nice all inclusive holiday. I'm sure we are both well mannered enough to know that whilst it's not for us we're not telling anyone else it's boring, family or not.

It's true, her sister might as well have been at Butlins and I don't know why her sister was so upset about the comment.
The OP's sister had been very rude to state that DP'S holiday must have been boring and even, not suitable for a child.
She might have thought it for her family but should have said I'm glad you had a good time.
We are all different and that's fine.
The sister shouldn't have taken offence and then gone on about it to the rest of the family. Drama queen?
The OP was not being snobby.
She just stated a fact - she didn't then tell off her sister to have a different sort of holiday in future.

Your sister was way out of order. She deserved what she got. Poke the bear and get the claws

It doesn't sound snobby to me. Your holiday sounded fun. You could not pay me to go on holiday with your relative.

You weren't being snobby, just stating what works for you, your sister was in the wrong for thinking her way is the only way, she's shallow minded but can't see it.

I don't blame you, OP. I'd much rather have your holiday but you had the decency to stay quiet re your sister's. She was very rude and has no taste.

I would love to take my DCs (late teens) to Italy and have your holiday. But my kids and husband aren't very interested in culture or history and love being active and going to waterparks! So that's what we do. They would love your sister's holiday (although we would never stay at one hotel but generally hire a care and travel about). Each to their own.

I can do different holidays with friends and family, so go with the flow for family breaks. But everyone is different. Neither you nor sister are 'wrong' but you shouldn't judge each other.