I was snobby, apparently

Your sister was rude.
You dished it back, and she didnt like it.
Ignore her if you can.
You dont need to justify your choices to her. Or to mumsnet.

(Ps. Sounds like a fab holiday in Italy x)

I don't think your comment was snobby op. She deserved it with her constant digs about your dc looking bored. She started it.

They are different kind of holidays , none if you are wrong . We do a mix of them ,I think if I only did city breaks without pool or sea the kids would be bored , if I only did pool ones I would be bored . So we do sight seeing , food eating and breaches and often get villas with pools as that way we can still enjoy the local food and people . We also do Disney holidays as we both enjoy those .
What she said was stupid and your reply was obviously a criticism to her choices too . She has no right to be upset imo .

I’m sure your family probably thinks that you’re veering into Hyacinth territory 😂 And in fairness Pompeii and mountains are great but if I gave my DDs the choice between Butlins and your trip when they were younger they’d have chosen Butlins every day 😂 they also loved the cheapie all inclusive we took to Marrakech once too. Saying that, we’ve also been to Lake Como, Sardinia, Tuscany … they still prefer Disney 😂

I don’t think you were unreasonable, she shouldn’t have been so vocal about your boring holiday until you snapped. She obviously thinks her idea of a holiday is better so I don’t see how what you said is any worse

You can dispute both those things without making derogatory comments about her holiday. That's where you were snobby.

She was also a dick but really you sank to her level so you're both at fault. Retaliation isn't a pass for all behaviour.

I think the ops holiday sounds great, including for the kids. If family members say anything I’d ask so to be clear, you haven’t said anything to my sister about how she went on anout how boring boring boring my holiday was and my dd would have been so bored and how I’m such a selfish parent for booking such a boring holiday for my child? That wasn’t rude as well as complete bullshit? Dd would need counseling to recover from a Butlins holiday, do you want my dd in therapy to stop my sister from having a go? Or maybe I could just push back some items and she won’t be so bloody rude in the future? And if she is I will push back again, and if you have anything to say about it please don’t come near me, I don’t have time for people who actively want me to be a shit parent and it’s really disappointing when I thought you loved dd and you know she loved her holiday. Are we done on this topic now?

But she was super rude about the ops first??

This isn’t really about the holiday though is it. I imagine it’s more about your family feeling that your choices are threatening.

My DM does this all the time , she feels that my dislike of some of the things I grew up with (benidorm type holidays) is a rejection of her.

It’s not though, I just hate those kind of resorts with ‘entertainment’ whereas my DM loves them. She is forever making my holidays sound like her idea of hell.

By the sounds of it she was picking faults in your holiday with her comments, if she can't take it then she shouldn't dish it out. She was picking with the 'your daughter looks bored comment'

Personally I think that's a brilliant trip to take a child on.

My child, my holiday -my choice- your family thinking it might be boring is irrelevant- it's none of their business.
tell them that they holidays you choose is your business- it is not about you being snobby, it is about your family being controlling.
Just because they don't understand how a visit to Pompeii might be fun is their loss-and speaks of their inverted snobbery.

I'm really sorry you're going through this original commenter 🫂
From everything you've mentioned, if your sister hadn't 1st had jibes at you about your family's holiday, you wouldn't have understandably jumped to defence 😥God Bless You
In my humble opinion, there's only so many digs one person can take, before they will naturally react & defend themselves - Also remembering she's the 1 who instigated the put downs, it's much more likely that she, your sister, is the one who's jealous of you & your holiday - Surely the rest of your family can see this, if they've heard the whole story?
Really hope your family see the light & take more seriously, your side
Wishing you all the utmost very best
💚🫂💚

sounds like she deserved your comment 😂 each to there own!!

Your Sister sounds a bit uncultured and not very adventurous. Putting kids into kids club and sitting in the complex drinking is a waste of a holiday imo! But some people do love that, but I'm with you.... And bad of your mum to think your child was bored, atleast she hasn't been palmed off to kids club....I'd be raging with how they are painting you out to be.

I think OP broke and snapped because her sister was being incredibly rude….

She was horribly rude. You got defensive and answered back. Maybe that answer comes across as snobby.
but your family shouldn’t be getting involved!! Big mistake

You weren’t snobby imo! You were provoked into a reaction! A lot of people assume kids are bored witless at things like museums, galleries etc, but its simply not true. It depends on the child.

OP, I don’t think you were snobby in the least. The holiday your DS went on would have looked like Butlins with sun. That’s only an insult if you find there to be something awful about Butlins- presumably you don’t. The fact that your family consider this snobby makes me feel the turn their noses up at Butlins. Now that’s snobby.

You had the holiday that suited your family and shouldn’t have been badgered into justifying it.

Your family don’t seem to understand your choices, I’d not discuss holidays again with them.

Thank you! After age 9, any kind of 'kiddy' holiday with pools and inflatables would have bored the hell out of me. I was happiest in a corner with a book or The Economist. Or chatting to adults about politics etc.

I'm glad that as a parent you embrace what your child really wants and don't try to get her to be someone she isn't. Equally, this is probably more fun for the adults.

Your sister just had a 'basic' holiday and you were happy keeping your views to yourself until she really pushed you over the edge. It's not your fault.

I’m with you. You only said something because she was being rude to you.

I agree that butlins is a tacky holiday.
Of course it’s snobby to say that but butlins IS tacky. It’s literally designed for maximum tackiness and it targets people who enjoy that.

If she didn’t want any judgement passed on her holiday, she shouldn’t have passed judgement on yours! I don’t think you’ve been out of order @Rayners but I think she suspects you think she’s a bit trashy and she’s trying to call that out. She started it after all!

I do think you should consider using the word being rather than been, they have different meanings.