I was snobby, apparently

It depends on the child though. I was an only child too but I was extremely introverted (I still am). We went on one AI type holiday and I absolutely hated the kids club. I can't remember exactly what I hated about it as I was very young, but I do remember hating it.

I had good friends at home,I just took a while to make close friends and didn't especially enjoy meeting strangers, particularly in groups. I didn't miss my friends while we were on holiday, I enjoyed my own company even as quite a young child. OP's daughter might be the same. I would have preferred OP's style of holiday personally but we are all different.

So I think it's fine as long as you talk to your child about what they would prefer.

Look on the bright side. At least your family won't want to come on holiday with you if they think you're being snobby

An awful lot of people seem to like the same kind of holiday as the sister and to automatically think that anyone who goes on a different kind of holiday is judging them. There's a lot of insecurity on here.

This is exactly what I thought..... whys everyone missing this point ??

To me your sister sounds jealous... no wonder you said what you said. She gave negative judgements on a holiday that sounds very educational for your DD. Got nothing nice to say, say nothing at all or expect the back lash.

But she didnt say her holiday was better, she said her sisters holiday was like butlins and to me her sister thought her holiday was better first so no wonder she reacted her sister sounds jealous not her

It's not a theoretical/exam point I'm making. Changing the sentence around flips the meaning and the argument.

Your holiday sounds great. Their holiday sounds uncultured and boring to me.
I'm a snob, there we are. Happy to be.

I think the purpose of the whole thread is just so people can tell you that you are so cultured/well travelled/sophisticated/amazing, classy and brilliant and your sister is a chav. Nice one OP.

Thankfully, we're not all the same - what suits one family / person for a holiday wouldn't suit another. You and your family enjoy breaks where you can discover new places and enhance your knowledge of the world. Your sister, however, is less so inclined. I'm sure we all have family / friends who fall into these categories (and more besides) but that doesn't mean one group is any more intelligent or cultured than another and the fact that others have been mean about you / your choices is simply a sad reflection of their perspectives. Carry on being you, just as your sister will continue to be her. Although we may not enjoy some things others do, we should never be mean if we just don't share their preferences. The ones who dismiss you as being a snob are saying more about themselves than they could possibly understand.

You’re fine, OP. I’ve always enjoyed your type of holidays more. Couldn’t think of anything worse than your sister’s holidays. Sounds like she’s the jealous one and feels a bit inferior so she’s projecting big time!

OP's holiday sounds great. I don't think her Butlins comeback was wrong being that she was being chastised for her boring holiday. Kids are different, her dd obviously likes history, sight seeing etc.. her sisters kids like kids clubs activities. None of this would have happened if sister had just said nice photos instead of criticising.

OP’s sister pushed to see OP’s holiday photos though.

I said they were nice photos and left it at that.
Later in the year we (me, DH and Dd) went to Italy. I uploaded a few photos on Facebook but not many. When we got back sister asked to see my photos - I said they’re on Facebook so she said “there’s hardly any on there and they’re the boring ones, I want to see them all” so I gave her my phone to scroll through them.

I guess OP should have said no but then her sister would have probably had issue with that and moaned.

See, I'm actually with you OP. You would have kept quiet what you thought about yours but she did put yours down first so fair game x

i would secretly think the same as you about her holiday - we’ve never taken our children to anything other than villa holidays with private pools where we have a hire car and go out and about exploring (other than ski holidays but again, never a holiday club in sight for them). They love our holidays and haven’t ever been bored! I think your holiday sounds lovely, and hers wouldn’t be for me, but then people like different types of holidays don’t they. She shouldn’t have been rude about yours in the first place though - you were both snobby in different ways but I’m more sympathetic to you as you only retaliated after being provoked!

OP I dont think you are unreasonable. For me your holiday sounds perfect. Frankly I'd definitely prefer to be exploring the sights of Italy rather than staying in the hotel. I dont mind a day of relaxing & chilling out. But if I had to spend an entire holiday baking on a sun lounger beside a pool Id very quickly find it tedious. My children, even when they were little, also loved exploring seeing new things, places, trying new food.

However not everyone is the same - you and your sister obviously like very different things (& judging by some of your family's comments maybe they do also). Different isnt wrong - its just different. Its not snobby to be different.

I think if I had been you and provoked in the same way, I too might have exploded in a similiar way. I am happy for others to like different things, but I dont allow others to push me about. However I know from experience my habit of opening my mouth with a quick sharp retort has gotten me into hot water on a number of occasions. Yet those people have expected me to just take all their criticisms and backstabing comments but they arent able cope when their target gives as good as they get.

It would have been more tactful NOT to mention Butlins because that does come across as snobby. But I understand the wider point you were making. I dont think you will easily turn this around in the family. You may well just have to ride it out.

The only thing you possibly could do is if this crops up during a family gathering is just turn to your sister and say infront of everyone, 'Ok I will admit the Butlins comment was abit off. It was a spur of the moment thing because I was hurt and angry about the really nasty continous judgy comments you were making about my family holiday. It was extremely rude of you and I admit I just lost my temper. So I do apologise for that. But you did bring that on yourself by attacking me first. You provoked me. Look you and I just like very different things. I never criticsed what you did on your holiday you obviously enjoyed it which is the main thing isnt it? So why did you think it was ok to attack and criticse me just because my family like to do different things to you? Personally our family likes very different things on a holiday to you. If we are going abroad we want to get out of the hotel and see the sights. We want to explore the countryside and the villages and towns, meet the locals and try different food. We want to visit museums and ancient ruins and maybe even climb the odd volcano or two. But that is us - that is what we like to do on holiday. Im not asking you to do that when you go abroad. But its also not better or worse than what you want to do on holiday. Its just different.

So just accept that we are different from each and dont expect that my holidays are going to be clones of yours. And lets agree that even if we think what each other likes to do on holiday is boring, we keep those comments to ourselves.'

Then draw a line under it by changing the subject.

showing each other holiday photos is never going to end well. I remember when I was little there was a thing for producing slides and then inviting friends round to see your snaps. a few horrendous evenings led to a lifelong reluctance to share or see other people's "memories"!

I think this is a prime example of "don't give it out if you can't take it."

Personally, if that had been me and my sister, we'd have just rolled our eyes at each other and moved on. Hell, your Butlins comment might have actually raised a laugh. But we both have a sense of humour, unlike your sister.

Personally, I enjoy both types of holiday!

YANBU. She sounds a bit thick. I would have just said "Maybe we have different ideas of a good holiday?" You both insulted one another's holidays, leave it at that!

Nope. You don’t sound snobby to me.

Sister was being an obnoxious twat and consistently insulting you. So you gave her, her answer. Too bad if she didn’t like it. She shouldn’t have run her rude mouth.

And to go running to your Mom and family playing the victim, is utterly childish.

If she can’t take it, she shouldn’t dish it out.

Isn’t it only snobby if you think Butlins is low class?

OP didn’t say that it was nor was that her thought process, but that is how her sister took it so her sister must think that it is otherwise she wouldn’t have got so defensive and cried to other family members.

Sister was going on and on basically criticising the Op’s holiday. The Op did not say anything bad about sisters (she said nice photos). It was only when sister started criticising Op’s holiday and photos again and again did she mention Butlins. Therefore I’m on the Op’s side.

Yes, and the sister comes across as judgy and critical of OP's holiday. She pushed and pushed instead of taking the hint to shut up and got put in her place.

Sister sounds like a chav. Ignore.