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Original poster

I was snobby, apparently

692 replies

Rayners · 07/02/2026 14:18

last year sister was showing me her holiday photos. She went to Spain and the photos were basically the kids in a holiday club, the kids eating burgers, the kids eating pizzas, the kids in a swimming pool, her DH with a pint, her and her DH doing karaoke in a bar etc etc … all of the photos were taken in the hotel complex with a couple of shots at the beach. I said they were nice photos and left it at that.
Later in the year we (me, DH and Dd) went to Italy. I uploaded a few photos on Facebook but not many. When we got back sister asked to see my photos - I said they’re on Facebook so she said “there’s hardly any on there and they’re the boring ones, I want to see them all” so I gave her my phone to scroll through them.

After a bit of scrolling she started saying stuff like “god these are boring! Were you not bored? Dd must have been bored?”

The photos in question were picturesque cobbled streets, mountains, churches, castles and abandoned towns. I said “DD loved it” so she chose one photo to show me which “proved” that DD was bored … a picture of DD sat staring ahead … at mt. Vesuvius. The reason she looked emotionless was because she was fascinated by it and often sits and stares at things … especially considering what she’d learnt that morning in Pompei!

Sister kept going on about what a boring holiday it must have been and how we should think about DD next time etc so I snapped and said “she enjoyed the holiday! I’m not been funny but your holiday photos might as well have been taken at Butlins”.

Now - this comment has come back on me ten fold - she told the entire (large) family what it id said and now I’m thought of as snobby and jealous as well as “trying to be something I’m not”. In a conversation this morning with my mum she brought it up again and asked why id said that - I told her (again!) what she’d said about my holiday photos to which she replied “well I’m not been funny but it did look a bit boring for a child”.

So was I out of order for what I said??? And AIBU to think our holiday wasn’t “totally unsuitable” for a child?

OP posts:
FancyCatSlave · 07/02/2026 15:50

You do sound a bit snobby @Rayners but don’t take that badly. I am bloody snobby and don’t deny it. You and your sister sound very different, her holidays sounds very Benidorm. She is rude. Take no bloody notice.

Everyone likes different holidays. I’m taking DD to a holiday park soon with a sense of dread as it’s not my scene and more your sisters. But I will be hiding my photos! 😂 DD wants to stay in a caravan and we are broke post divorce so I’m grinning and bearing.
Can’t bloody wait to take her to Pomepi instead!

ChocolateHobbit · 07/02/2026 15:49

IwishIcouldconfess · 07/02/2026 15:42

Both holidays soind dreadful if I'm honest.
I'm all for a bit of culture and sight seeing etc but where's the fun??

In the culture and sight seeing obviously?

If her child was happy and having fun, her child was happy and having fun.

Is it really that hard to get your head around the fact that different people like different things, including children?

BoundaryGirl3939 · 07/02/2026 15:49

Why didn't your mother reprimand her for criticising and judging your holiday?

I dont think you sound snobby at all. Both holidays were fine....just a matter of preference.

plsdontlookatme · 07/02/2026 15:49

Snobby (but not wrong) and served her right so I voted YANBU.

CharlieEffie · 07/02/2026 15:48

The butlins comment was kind of snobby but as you said she kept going on and insulting your holiday. She had the opportunity to drop it. Play silly games win silly prizes

RhaenysRocks · 07/02/2026 15:48

IwishIcouldconfess · 07/02/2026 15:42

Both holidays soind dreadful if I'm honest.
I'm all for a bit of culture and sight seeing etc but where's the fun??

Culture and sight seeing IS fun if you actually like it and are interested and not just ticking things off a list you think you 'ought' to do.

PaddingtonsMarmaladeSandwich · 07/02/2026 15:48

Your family are inverse snobs. It sounds like they feel a bit threatened by people who enjoy things/experiences that they haven’t done themselves.

ThisDandyWriter · 07/02/2026 15:47

Youcancallmeirrelevant · 07/02/2026 14:21

It's just different types of holidays, but you do sound snobby as if you think your holiday is better than theirs

To be fair, it does sound better!

GameOfJones · 07/02/2026 15:47

Your sister is a dick.

OK, in an ideal world you shouldn't have made the Butlins comment.....but it's unbelievably rude of her to bang on about how boring your holiday must have been. To then go crying to the rest of your family about it is ridiculous.

If it comes up again I'd just say "you kept being rude about my holiday so I retaliated.... let's just leave it at that."

Alyss05 · 07/02/2026 15:46

If you’d said your comments, without provocation, then I’d say it was snobby.

But the key point is you didn’t. You were complimentary about her photos and she was very rude, for no reason, about your holiday. She also didn’t stop when you explained your daughter, who you obviously know much better than your sister, had a good time.

So, no, your sister was being very rude and wouldn’t stop - so you said something to make her stop!
The saying “play stupid games, win stupid prizes” comes to mind.
Your sister got her just dessert.

Pineneedlesincarpet · 07/02/2026 15:45

Swiftie1878 · 07/02/2026 14:27

Eh? It was her sister being rude that prompted the OP’s ‘snobby’ reply!

Don’t dish it up if you can’t take it!

Show quote history

Exactly.
Live by the sword, die by the sword. Suck it up, DS.

usedtobeaylis · 07/02/2026 15:44

You both sound insecure.

JassyRadlett · 07/02/2026 15:43

BlueWellieSocks · 07/02/2026 14:26

You definitely sound like you believe your holiday was superior! Your sister has more than likely felt this vibe from you numerous times.

Then she should probably stop going on for more details of OP's holidays if her only purpose in doing so is to make rude comments.

OP was a bit rude. The sister was more rude, and initiated the whole thing. Crying to the extended family about it is ridiculous.

I'm completely each to their own on holidays, aware that people would hate ours as much as I'd be bored senseless by theirs so just make positive noises when others are raving about their holidays and saying we should go there. But if OP's sister or mother had been so rude as to describe mine as sounding "boring" I'd have no problem responding "And yours sounds like the third circle of hell to me, so just as well we don't need to go on holiday together."

Meadowfinch · 07/02/2026 15:43

She started the insults with calling your holiday boring. You called her holiday Butlins. I'd say that's pretty even.

You aren't being snobby, You just have different tastes. I went on holiday with a sister once. It was kind of her to invite me but to say we were polar opposites would be putting it mildly.
She demanded Richmond sausages and beans for breakfast, I bought local fruit bread from a bakery.
She wanted to spend the day on a sunlounger under a regimented row of hotel parasols. I hired a car and drove up into the mountains.
She wanted to drink and party in the evenings I wanted supper overlooking the bay and then a stroll on the beach.

Just accept you are different and don't discuss holidays again.

IwishIcouldconfess · 07/02/2026 15:43

Rayners · 07/02/2026 14:18

last year sister was showing me her holiday photos. She went to Spain and the photos were basically the kids in a holiday club, the kids eating burgers, the kids eating pizzas, the kids in a swimming pool, her DH with a pint, her and her DH doing karaoke in a bar etc etc … all of the photos were taken in the hotel complex with a couple of shots at the beach. I said they were nice photos and left it at that.
Later in the year we (me, DH and Dd) went to Italy. I uploaded a few photos on Facebook but not many. When we got back sister asked to see my photos - I said they’re on Facebook so she said “there’s hardly any on there and they’re the boring ones, I want to see them all” so I gave her my phone to scroll through them.

After a bit of scrolling she started saying stuff like “god these are boring! Were you not bored? Dd must have been bored?”

The photos in question were picturesque cobbled streets, mountains, churches, castles and abandoned towns. I said “DD loved it” so she chose one photo to show me which “proved” that DD was bored … a picture of DD sat staring ahead … at mt. Vesuvius. The reason she looked emotionless was because she was fascinated by it and often sits and stares at things … especially considering what she’d learnt that morning in Pompei!

Sister kept going on about what a boring holiday it must have been and how we should think about DD next time etc so I snapped and said “she enjoyed the holiday! I’m not been funny but your holiday photos might as well have been taken at Butlins”.

Now - this comment has come back on me ten fold - she told the entire (large) family what it id said and now I’m thought of as snobby and jealous as well as “trying to be something I’m not”. In a conversation this morning with my mum she brought it up again and asked why id said that - I told her (again!) what she’d said about my holiday photos to which she replied “well I’m not been funny but it did look a bit boring for a child”.

So was I out of order for what I said??? And AIBU to think our holiday wasn’t “totally unsuitable” for a child?

Heaven forbid someone has a pint on holiday

IwishIcouldconfess · 07/02/2026 15:42

Both holidays soind dreadful if I'm honest.
I'm all for a bit of culture and sight seeing etc but where's the fun??

Okiedokie123 · 07/02/2026 15:41

I don’t think what you said was snobby. Her holiday was Butlins with the heat turned up. There’s nowt wrong with that it’s just different.
She is guilty of reverse snobbery - going on and on about your supposedly boring holiday. She pushed until you snapped and then she didn’t like your response.
My kids would definitely prefer your option over hers.

StarMumMiranda · 07/02/2026 15:41

rainforestalliance · 07/02/2026 15:30

Same here

Show quote history

So would you two have carted on and on at your sister if she showed you her holiday pics of Italy, volcanoes etc? And insisted the holiday was boring and the child was bored, even though the sister said not?

Because this thread isn't about 'which holiday do you think is best for kids', its about reacting to other people's holidays.

Had the sister said 'very pretty - good for you - I couldn't do that with mine, they'd be bored but glad you enjoyed yourselves' that would have been different.

popcornandpotatoes · 07/02/2026 15:41

SENsupportplease · 07/02/2026 14:27

She was rude

You were snobby 😂

Yes this. Funny enough I enjoy both those types of holidays and DD has been on cultural exploring holidays and poolside all inclusives. Room in the world for both

Jasmin71 · 07/02/2026 15:39

"We enjoy seeing the actual country, I could eat burgers and do karaoke at home if I wanted to." would have been my only reply.

Walkaround · 07/02/2026 15:39

Rayners · 07/02/2026 14:18

last year sister was showing me her holiday photos. She went to Spain and the photos were basically the kids in a holiday club, the kids eating burgers, the kids eating pizzas, the kids in a swimming pool, her DH with a pint, her and her DH doing karaoke in a bar etc etc … all of the photos were taken in the hotel complex with a couple of shots at the beach. I said they were nice photos and left it at that.
Later in the year we (me, DH and Dd) went to Italy. I uploaded a few photos on Facebook but not many. When we got back sister asked to see my photos - I said they’re on Facebook so she said “there’s hardly any on there and they’re the boring ones, I want to see them all” so I gave her my phone to scroll through them.

After a bit of scrolling she started saying stuff like “god these are boring! Were you not bored? Dd must have been bored?”

The photos in question were picturesque cobbled streets, mountains, churches, castles and abandoned towns. I said “DD loved it” so she chose one photo to show me which “proved” that DD was bored … a picture of DD sat staring ahead … at mt. Vesuvius. The reason she looked emotionless was because she was fascinated by it and often sits and stares at things … especially considering what she’d learnt that morning in Pompei!

Sister kept going on about what a boring holiday it must have been and how we should think about DD next time etc so I snapped and said “she enjoyed the holiday! I’m not been funny but your holiday photos might as well have been taken at Butlins”.

Now - this comment has come back on me ten fold - she told the entire (large) family what it id said and now I’m thought of as snobby and jealous as well as “trying to be something I’m not”. In a conversation this morning with my mum she brought it up again and asked why id said that - I told her (again!) what she’d said about my holiday photos to which she replied “well I’m not been funny but it did look a bit boring for a child”.

So was I out of order for what I said??? And AIBU to think our holiday wasn’t “totally unsuitable” for a child?

Just tell her that if she can’t see that she was being hugely judgemental of you, your family and your family’s choices with her comments, and that she started it, then she’s thick as well as common. 🤣🤣🤣

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 07/02/2026 15:37

She was being a shit to repeatedly slag off your holiday
Then get defensive when you slagged off her holiday
Then involve your mum and wider family in the drama over a comment

Yes the butlins comment wasn't really needed (a ' can you stop going on about it, we all enjoyed it and I'm a bit sick of you calling it boring, can't we just accept we all like different things' etc would have been fine) and can see why she thought it was a bit snobby.

But she did deserve it and seems to be suffering from a bit of inverse snobbery herself if she thinks pompeii is boring

GalaxyJam · 07/02/2026 15:37

Screamingabdabz · 07/02/2026 15:31

Butlins type holidays were all we could afford and they were shit but my kids didn’t know any different. We still tried to instil the cultural capital with castles and museums and as adults they now tell us that they hated those bits and found them boring. (All still academic high flyers). Children want children’s things - so there is nothing wrong with a simple bucket and spade holiday with crabbing on the quay and bags of chips.

I personally think there is something pretentious about taking young children on a ‘cultural’ holiday. It reminds me of a snobby friend who loftily proclaimed once that “Chloe simply loves Lyme Regis…”. Chloe was 4 ffs. She did the whole Italy thing and Chloe (now age 6) ‘loved the little ferries across the harbour and speaking Italian at the waiters.’ I’m pretty sure Chloe, now a tattooed party girl in her 20s, doesn’t recall a single thing about it.

Pretentious how? We’re planning a holiday for Easter. I asked the kids where they want to go and my 10 year old said she’d like to go to Pompeii. 12 year old said she wanted to go to Rome. Both related to things they’re doing at school. How on earth is it pretentious to take kids to see things that they’ve actively said they want to see?

Funnywonder · 07/02/2026 15:37

Snobby wouldn’t be the word I would use. Condescending maybe. But your sister did press your buttons.

Petrolitis · 07/02/2026 15:36

Quine0nline · 07/02/2026 14:24

It depends on the family dynamics.
If the family prefer variety entertainment, the same food there as here and constant go go go entertainment and you would rather seek out the historic aspects, explore culture and be "boring" then go for it.
They sound inverted snobs - which is snobbery by another name.

I agree with this.

Your sister has a nasty case of inverted snobbery. She's the one who judged your choices, different people enjoy different things. She sees your choices as more worthy and wants to bring you down a notch or two.

She doesn't sound very nice.