I was snobby, apparently

It’s called FAFO

It sounds like you enjoy my kind of holiday op, exploring and culture; whereas your sister sounds like she enjoys relaxing whilst the kids have on tap entertainment. Nothing wrong with that, but my idea of hell! So what if you were being snobby, you were goaded.

Our trip to Rome and Pompei October half term cost a lot less than a previous all inclusive.

She was goady and rude. You were defensive and a little snobby. It's a draw.
You'll both get over it.
(Your holiday sounds infinitely better, just saying.) ☺️

I also think ops holiday was better! You are treating the word snobby as a criticism op, I’d own it.

it’s odd isn’t it how inverse snobbery and lack of curiosity is feted.

I'd just make an agreement with your sister that in future, when you each return from the holidays of your personal choices, that neither of you will comment on the others (unless it's to say something nice of course).

I find this a very strange take. My LO loves learning, and we incorporate learning into everything.

There is so much hands on learning that takes place when you experience a different culture and language. It makes perfect sense to me.

"DD sat staring ahead … at mt. Vesuvius. The reason she looked emotionless was because she was fascinated by it and often sits and stares at things … especially considering what she’d learnt that morning in Pompei!"

You do sound very pretentious here. The way you mention kids club, burgers, pizzas and Butlins makes you sound like you see yourself as above people who enjoy these things. I can see why you were called snobby.

Now that's being snobby...😁

Your sister's holiday is my idea of hell. I totally agree with you, OP, I'd think the same as you and it doesn't matter if it's snobbish or not.

If she's happy with a Butlins style holiday, being rude to you and whipping up family drama then this illustrates who she is. Leave her to it. You are clearly very different people.

Now this is how you convey "different tastes" vs "condescending" 🤣

She "demanded" sausages and beans, while I went to the local bakery for local produce.
She went under "regimented" parasols all day, while I explored the mountains.

It's all in the detail!

Without labouring the irony of the phrase "I’m not been funny" being deemed in any way snobby, I think the OP was goaded and it was a fair response in the circumstances.

You were more than justified suggesting your sister's holiday sounded like a Butlin's upgrade. She was out of order criticising the holiday destination you chose and suggesting it was unsuitable for your daughter. 'Snob' allegations are often back handed compliments tbh. I'd treat them with the contempt they deserve.

Just to add: my DD lived with a very intelligent flatmate. Great degree and great job - but little to talk about. Same beach holiday every year with parents and unfortunately never introduced to anything else. So it was career and nothing else. That’s what’s boring. Go for a broad education and keep them interested in all sorts of things. It makes for a more interesting person.

Two ‘well I’m not been funny..’ in one post means you have nothing to worry about on the snobby front OP.

Yes - you'd have done better to be more graceful, but you weren't wrong and I can see why you said what you did.

For some reason we have a culture where it's ok to openly and rudely trash things that are coded as "middle class", even if those things are mostly available to everyone. See how "poor" and "simple tastes" characters are often the good guys in stories and films.
Almost as though there are organisations who benefit from populations being incurious and isolated...

I imagine the OP’s child managed to eat some pizza on their holiday to Italy!
Mine would all rather go to Pompeii than do karaoke. All kids are different.

Should have kept her trap shut, shouldn't she?

If you're snobby, then so am I. My holidays sound much more like yours, as an adult and when I was child. She is obviously jealous.

Your sister was goady and rude. Your mum secretly probably feels sorry/favours her. Don’t respond to either of their nonsense and continue to have fun interesting holidays. Our kids loved Pompeii. They ate pizza Italy but I didn’t take a picture of them either. Can I join the snob club?

I never understand why posters start a thread asking if they are being unreasonable then argue they’re not. What’s the point.

yes the comment was a bit snobby, and yes likely kids have more fun on the type of holiday your sister had, not everything needs to be a learning opportunity, sometimes they can eat pizza, sing songs and play on the pool

Yes, this exactly. Your holiday was obviously more upmarket than hers, she recognised this and felt defensive and belittled. And as 'attack is the best form of defence' she proceeded to disparage your holiday.

If she truly believed her holiday to be superior and genuinely felt your DD looked bored, she would have just been non commital and polite.

People do this All. The. Time. It's known as inverted snobbery. Classic example is our neighbour always extolling the virtues of her 10 year old Peugeot and eagerly criticising my Range Rover. Yeah, fine, whatever love. It's tediously transparent, but understandable.

They both sound like very typical holidays millions of British people enjoy each year - each to their own

She retaliated because her sister was criticising her holiday choices. Suggesting they were unsuitable for her daughter. Just because she hit her mark doesn't mean she was wrong. Or 'snobby'.

We have the same kinds of holidays as you so I am biased but think you were perfectly reasonable. You might not have expressed it well but if you take the idea of perceived snobbery (based on the idea that yours are more worthy or high brow) out of it and just look on it as criticism based on different tastes, she was critical of yours first so you were reasonable to respond the same way.