I was snobby, apparently

She started it by going on and on about your holiday and goading you by the sounds of it. Tell them all to get a grip and move on 🙄

You both sound awful!

I don't think you're snobby at all. You were driven to it. I'd have said the same. Your relatives are inverse snobs and there's a lot of it about. We took our son to see Vesuvius and Pompeii when he was young and he was captivated by it. He's grown up to be fascinated by travel and interested in other cultures. I think you did your best not to come across as snobby - but she's the one who wouldn't let it rest. Sometimes relatives just can't accept that we all like different things.

And her sister thought her holiday was the superior one. So they’re even, really.

But 'learning' didn't mean sitting down at a desk in their Italian accommodation with text books.

Learning was visiting Pompeii - a child who is really keen on volcanoes, and IME most kids would be intensely interested in the Pompei disaster.

My Dc were variously obsessed with dinosaurs (holidays banging rocks on beaches and doing fossil walks with experts when Dc was 6 and loved it) , Castles - many many castles from age 3 or 4, wherever we went on holiday, chattering about knights and battles and the Keep and how they went up spiral stirs with sword in one hand etc, Volcanoes - Lanzarote and Tenerife, and they absolutely LOVED the Cesar Manrique buildings and architecture in Lanzarote.

All this was a massive adventure, and they absorbed lots of learning as they went.

What's wrong with that?

Oh yeah, it's apparently pretentious and we should have spent all (instead of just some) of our time in the bacterial soup of the hotel pool.

Well I'm going against the grain...I don't think you were snobbish. Your sister sounds very chippy, naggy and actually - boring!

She's one of those people who finds it hard to understand that other people are different and like different things. I remember being told myself that I was forcing my poor children to do boring things (looking round castles instead of going to EuroDisney...etc) but that's what my kids preferred!

Your post has touched a nerve with me. I think your sister needs to get out more and broaden her horizons and her mind and stop sneering at YOU, which is what she was doing.

She didn't like a dose of her own judgmental medicine, did she?

Well she told her entire family the op told her her holiday was like butlins. Whilst arguing her daughter loves educational holidays rather than pools and pizza.

Your sister ran off to mummy to complain about your horrid words to her?

Priceless.

It sounds like you have normal sibling rivalry, with each of you comparing yourself to the other and making lots of judgements about what you each do on holiday.

not sure what to advise other than keep all your comments bland, leave out anything like the reference to Butlins that could be taken the wrong way.

bickering is really tedious so if you can prevent it by not feeding the monster so to speak it will give you peace of mind. Or maybe it's just your engrained sibling way of talking and difficult to change.

Your sister is jealous pure and simple.

She was rude about your holiday.
You were the about hers. But the way you write, describe your holiday, you do sound like you think your holiday was superior to hers. So yes, you sounded snobby.

Your choice of put down does show you are a bit snobby, you might need to accept that, but she was very rude first. I say this as someone who enjoys both types of holiday and most years can't afford either, so I'm very jealous of your argument 😂. My ideal is a bit of both things.

If she brings it up again point out she was basically accusing you of neglecting your daughter so if she can't take it back don't rush it out. You have never commented on her choice if holiday until she wouldn't let it go about yours.

Yes, it was a snobby comment ... but it was exactly what I was thinking when you described her photos.

You probably shouldn't have said it, but they could have been on a Butlins holiday. She might like that, which is fine, but she shouldn't have picked holes in yours.

I think this reads as a classic “what works for your family won’t work for others” OP.

I didn’t read your comment as snobby, just that you look for more (sounds fantastic) inspiration from a holiday for yourself and your children.

I would just put this down to a difference in opinion, all friends and family can differ and remain on good terms I would hope?

Somebody said that OP was snobby.. I don't think she said that her way of holidaying was better, did she? Sounds perfectly reasonable to me.

I went to Butlins when I was 8. The whole family were scarred for life. 'Spect that I'm snobby. Suits me.

Why though ? That is exactly what her sisters holiday was. There is nothing wrong with it if that's what you want. But OP didn't want that she wanted to experience the country her sister wanted a different type of holiday. Neither are wrong. And OPs sister was the first to criticise OPs holiday, constantly saying it was boring.

Yanbu, are you just supposed to take her shit without responding??

she went low, you went lower

as long as you clarify this and you don’t actually have anything against Butlins holidays, I don’t see what’s wrong

Each to their own and there is no right or wrong holiday.
For me, the destination /holiday type is influenced by age of children. Ime, young children can easily get bored of sightseeing and culture. I appreciate that this is different for everyone.
How old is your daughter OP?
I am curious

Who actually ASKS to see someone else’s holiday photos?! Most people keep their mouths shut and pray they won’t be shown them!

If it’s really as you described and you’re not exaggerating the amount of times she said your holiday was boring then she had it coming. Everyone privately judges everyone else, doesn’t make them snobby. Most people don’t say what they’re thinking in those situations but you were forced into it because she kept slagging off your holiday. So if she’s allowed to express her judgement about your “boring” holiday, why shouldn’t you be able to express your judgement about her “tacky” holiday. Although you’d be on a more even playing field if you also described her holiday as boring rather than going for the tacky/uncultured angle. You clearly just like doing different things on holiday. It’s not that deep and not necessarily a reflection on what kind of person either of you are.

And her sister thought her holiday was better. What is the difference?

She had a go at you and you put her in her place! She shouldn’t have poked her nose in! I have a phrase for moments like that. “It’s not really my cup of tea.” It’s a bit of a cliche but I think does the job. I hate the sort of activity you describe but equally maybe your young one might like some daytime activity such a swimming or sailing? But yrnbu in my view! She should have minded her own business.

She kept being rude and you snapped. I would double down if I were you, if she keeps going on about it... Nothing wrong with a bit of snobbery from time to time! Tell her you'd rather be Hyacinth Bucket than one of her sisters! Ask her if they ate egg and chips every day and did the hokey cokey after dinner. If you embrace the accusation she can no longer weaponise it!

The OP's holiday will have given her DD a lot of 'cultural capital' which is important.

Your sister is spiritually undeveloped and doesn’t see the point of anything that doesn’t provide instant gratification. Perhaps not snobby just ignorant

You both sound awful