I was snobby, apparently

She was rude first. Got what she deserved.

Sister kept going on about what a boring holiday it must have been and how we should think about DD next time etc so I snapped and said “she enjoyed the holiday! I’m not been funny but your holiday photos might as well have been taken at Butlins”.
Now - this comment has come back on me ten fold - she told the entire (large) family what it id said and now I’m thought of as snobby and jealous as well as “trying to be something I’m not”. In a conversation this morning with my mum she brought it up again and asked why id said that - I told her (again!) what she’d said about my holiday photos to which she replied “well I’m not been funny but it did look a bit boring for a child”.

My dd has always enjoyed a museum and a
bucket and spade, and she’s lucky enough to have had both types of experience. She hasn’t been to an all-in karaoke type holiday because neither I nor her father would enjoy them and so neither of us has taken her!

I don’t think it’s snobby to have a cultural holiday, and actually I think the sister here was being really rude and goady as if she needed to have it said that her holiday was fine- like OP’s holiday made her doubt her own choices, so she made that OP’s problem. I also wouldn’t want to visit any country and come away knowing no more about it than I’d known when I went. I think that’s quite arrogant in itself, to be honest- a sort of ‘my culture & country is so amazing that I don’t need to find out or experience anything else, and it’s good to import my own culture to another country because I’m paying to be there’ attitude which I find quite off putting (I would say ‘distasteful’, but I might get accused of being snobby 🙃)

Yes it is very busy, especially at the height of summer and also really very, very hot. I always tell people to visit Herculaneum whilst there too, it’s way less busy but equally interesting.

There used to be a (low-brow) tv show with the premise that two families would go on holiday with each other to their preferred places. Then they’d be in a bad mood when they shockingly didn’t like the other family’s holiday.

I like both types of holiday. With the kids ‘hot Butlins’ suits them better, if it’s just me and DH then something a bit more like yours.

You both sound up your arses tbh. We’ve had both types of holidays and enjoyed both for different reasons. Usually when we go abroad or even to Wales (which I fucking love, I’ve visited many places but Wales is my happy place), we do a lot of walking and it really takes it out of DC.

We’ve been to Pompeii which I loved but it was also 32 degrees and we did feel like we were dying. We’ve also been on an all inclusive in the Canaries like your sister which was great. Barely walked at all, actually felt well rested, kids had a whale of a time. It was tacky as anything but it was fun. You can do both and not be up your own backside about it.

@Rayners Depends on age of child.

I can imagine a child under 8 might struggle with a holiday that involves seeing interesting stuff.

Perfectly suitable for a child aged 8 and above though.

This 😂

I don’t think you intended to sound snobby - but the truth came out when your stupid sister kept going on about how crap yours seemed to her!
If you’re a snob, then so is she - an inverted one!
I think you have a much better understanding of how to make the best of a foreign holiday. Your DD will have both enjoyed herself and learned from it - but your nieces and nephews will have basically been to a play scheme, which they could arguably have done without leaving the country.
I’m team you, OP!

Your whole description is a put-down of your sister so yes you were being a snob.

You both sound massively unreasonable. Both holidays sound good

This is interesting as one thing that's put me off Pompeii and vesuvius is i thought they'd be really busy with tourists. Were they not?

My kids love an all inclusive buffet but they hate kids clubs and will only watch entertainment from a distance. They love the pool but wouldn't want to be in all day. So a mix of all inclusive with some sightseeing suits us when we can afford it. We did Lanzarote last year and that was ideal - volcano in the morning and pool in the afternoon!

Your sort if holiday always seems more expensive when I try and price it up compared to an all inclusive package to a lower end hotel, once I've factored in all the extra food costs etc so i wouldn't be too sure yours was cheaper. But that's irrelevant. Your sister was rude and pretty ignorant, you were provoked into being rude and accidentally revealing your snobbery back. You just need to agree you like different holidays and stop comparing.

I don’t think you sound snobby. She was dissing your hol so you just gave as good as she got.

I only got to visit Pompeii in my late 60s, I would have been thrilled beyond measure to visit as a child. Enjoying history and culture is what you do, enjoying getting shitfaced and splashing in pools is what they do. She is the inverted snob.

I think you were both being out of order about each other's holidays. Her for saying your holiday was boring, you for saying her holiday might as well been at butlins. You both obviously have different ideas about what makes a good holiday and thats ok. So yabu but you are both being unreasonable.

Sister was rude about OPs holiday!
Don't dish it out if you can't take it...

Those who live by the sword may die by it.

If she thinks it's acceptable to call her sister's holiday boring multiple times, she can expect to have her own holiday critiqued in a similar manner.

I'm torn actually. Your sister shouldn't have dissed your holiday and I'm sure your DD had a fab time with you. OTOH, I took my two to Butlins many times as kids and it was amazing for them, so it does seem a bit snobby to use 'Butlins' as an insult.

Some things ARE generally seen as better than others. It’s only snobbery when it’s lorded over somebody.
If one had gone to Sweden drinking beer, swimming in ice and one Japan drinking saki and lounging in hot baths that’s “different” holidays. Neither would be better.
Appreciating another country is always going to be better than sun loungers whether it’s on an exclusive island or Spain.
And I go on holiday to drink , smoke and get a tan. I’m aware it’s not classy

oh, come on. Her sister was ten times more rude, and doubled down on the crap instead of apologising.

Of course YANBU.

Your sister sounds like she has a chip on her shoulder and perhaps feels a bit inferior.

Why do some posters assume that all kids must prefer Butlins style holidays with swimming pools, activity centres and lots of other noisy kids compared to a cultural type city break?

None of mine would enjoy the former but they all love the latter style. DS (16) loves nothing better than mooching around a different city. The older ones are adults now with kids of their own and we holidayed together last summer in Denmark. Everyone had a great time.

I’ve only once been on a package holiday with built in bus trips etc. and DH and I said ‘never again’ when we got back home.

Surely you know your DSis's personality and preferences to things by now OP?
I don't think you sound snobby at all.

DSis took photos of the types of things her family enjoyed the most: eating and drinking in warm sunny Spain; nothing wrong with that and you didn't remark on how samey those photos looked, only that her photos were "nice", which I'm sure they were to DSis, and really, what else could you say?

You and your family did what you wanted to do on your trip and didn't inflict your photos on anyone by posting too many.

However DSis felt it necessary to be critical of your holiday, assuming your DS was "bored" , clearly your DS takes after your Mum in that way and they both would have been 'bored'.

I think your critical and assuming DSis is to blame for speaking negatively of your photos and trip itinerary.

Unfortunately you felt provoked into saying something negative about their holiday, so now you know with some types you have to grin and bear and sometimes lie a little, to keep the peace.

We went to Lyme Regis with DS a couple years ago and he did really love it! He loved crabbing (caught a blenny and a shrimp), found a fossil, made a sandcastle and played on the arcades. What’s not to like?

He would also definitely enjoy going on a little ferry. Now if your friend had said “Chloe was really moved by the way Caravaggio uses light in his compositions”, I’d agree. But a child liking the seaside and going on a boat doesn’t seem particularly odd.

This.

You can find "picturesque cobbled streets, mountains, churches, castles and abandoned towns" in Spain. You just have to leave the hotel/ touristic areas.

Why people use social media to compare themselves and which holidays/ lifestyle is best is beyond me.