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Original poster

I was snobby, apparently

692 replies

Rayners · 07/02/2026 14:18

last year sister was showing me her holiday photos. She went to Spain and the photos were basically the kids in a holiday club, the kids eating burgers, the kids eating pizzas, the kids in a swimming pool, her DH with a pint, her and her DH doing karaoke in a bar etc etc … all of the photos were taken in the hotel complex with a couple of shots at the beach. I said they were nice photos and left it at that.
Later in the year we (me, DH and Dd) went to Italy. I uploaded a few photos on Facebook but not many. When we got back sister asked to see my photos - I said they’re on Facebook so she said “there’s hardly any on there and they’re the boring ones, I want to see them all” so I gave her my phone to scroll through them.

After a bit of scrolling she started saying stuff like “god these are boring! Were you not bored? Dd must have been bored?”

The photos in question were picturesque cobbled streets, mountains, churches, castles and abandoned towns. I said “DD loved it” so she chose one photo to show me which “proved” that DD was bored … a picture of DD sat staring ahead … at mt. Vesuvius. The reason she looked emotionless was because she was fascinated by it and often sits and stares at things … especially considering what she’d learnt that morning in Pompei!

Sister kept going on about what a boring holiday it must have been and how we should think about DD next time etc so I snapped and said “she enjoyed the holiday! I’m not been funny but your holiday photos might as well have been taken at Butlins”.

Now - this comment has come back on me ten fold - she told the entire (large) family what it id said and now I’m thought of as snobby and jealous as well as “trying to be something I’m not”. In a conversation this morning with my mum she brought it up again and asked why id said that - I told her (again!) what she’d said about my holiday photos to which she replied “well I’m not been funny but it did look a bit boring for a child”.

So was I out of order for what I said??? And AIBU to think our holiday wasn’t “totally unsuitable” for a child?

OP posts:
grumpygrape · 07/02/2026 20:47

NanFlanders · 07/02/2026 17:26

I'm torn actually. Your sister shouldn't have dissed your holiday and I'm sure your DD had a fab time with you. OTOH, I took my two to Butlins many times as kids and it was amazing for them, so it does seem a bit snobby to use 'Butlins' as an insult.

I saw OP using Butlins as a comparison as opposed to an insult.

TheMostHolySunflower · 07/02/2026 20:35

I went on both types of holidays as a kid and I can tell you the ones I remember most aren't where I was in the kid's clubs or spending all day jumping in the pool (though I did love them), but things like visiting the Coliseum and Ephesus... so there's merit to both. I can see how your comment came across as snobby, but your sister was being an arse and you snapped so it was a fair comment IMO.

Bombinia · 07/02/2026 20:33

Yabu for saying been when you mean being.

But I don't blame you for snapping and your holiday sounds great. I would die of boredom on a hotel package holiday and your sister was very rude to you.

dreamiesformolly · 07/02/2026 20:31

Notsosweetcaroline · 07/02/2026 16:06

I never understand why posters start a thread asking if they are being unreasonable then argue they’re not. What’s the point.

yes the comment was a bit snobby, and yes likely kids have more fun on the type of holiday your sister had, not everything needs to be a learning opportunity, sometimes they can eat pizza, sing songs and play on the pool

Where did OP say 'everything' had been a learning opportunity?

Abd80 · 07/02/2026 20:30

YANBU
she was literally repeatedly declaring your holiday was boring
so she fully deserved it when you finally responded

Kizmet1 · 07/02/2026 20:28

I think your holiday sounds charming and relaxing.
I would far prefer your style of holiday to a Spanish resort style getaway.
I suppose you did sound a little bit snobby with the Butlins comment, but she was being incredibly rude and I do get where you're coming from. Maybe I'm a bit snobby too! 🤷‍♀️🤣

summergin · 07/02/2026 20:27

Notsosweetcaroline · 07/02/2026 16:06

I never understand why posters start a thread asking if they are being unreasonable then argue they’re not. What’s the point.

yes the comment was a bit snobby, and yes likely kids have more fun on the type of holiday your sister had, not everything needs to be a learning opportunity, sometimes they can eat pizza, sing songs and play on the pool

This

phoenixrosehere · 07/02/2026 20:26

dreamiesformolly · 07/02/2026 20:24

You sound rather disparaging of holidays that involve a bit of culture. Why is that? And how do you know OP didn't have some beers in the sunshine as well?

Show quote history

Right.

My husband had beers and wine when we went to Sorrento. Had them while enjoying the view of the sea and Mt.Vesuvius.

dreamiesformolly · 07/02/2026 20:24

sploshsplash · 07/02/2026 14:37

How old is your child? Was she really staring ahead at Mount Vesuvius after her morning of deep learning?
Maybe have a beer in the sunshine with a bit of bingo… might cheer you up. 😁

You sound rather disparaging of holidays that involve a bit of culture. Why is that? And how do you know OP didn't have some beers in the sunshine as well?

Grendel7 · 07/02/2026 20:23

Rayners · 07/02/2026 14:18

last year sister was showing me her holiday photos. She went to Spain and the photos were basically the kids in a holiday club, the kids eating burgers, the kids eating pizzas, the kids in a swimming pool, her DH with a pint, her and her DH doing karaoke in a bar etc etc … all of the photos were taken in the hotel complex with a couple of shots at the beach. I said they were nice photos and left it at that.
Later in the year we (me, DH and Dd) went to Italy. I uploaded a few photos on Facebook but not many. When we got back sister asked to see my photos - I said they’re on Facebook so she said “there’s hardly any on there and they’re the boring ones, I want to see them all” so I gave her my phone to scroll through them.

After a bit of scrolling she started saying stuff like “god these are boring! Were you not bored? Dd must have been bored?”

The photos in question were picturesque cobbled streets, mountains, churches, castles and abandoned towns. I said “DD loved it” so she chose one photo to show me which “proved” that DD was bored … a picture of DD sat staring ahead … at mt. Vesuvius. The reason she looked emotionless was because she was fascinated by it and often sits and stares at things … especially considering what she’d learnt that morning in Pompei!

Sister kept going on about what a boring holiday it must have been and how we should think about DD next time etc so I snapped and said “she enjoyed the holiday! I’m not been funny but your holiday photos might as well have been taken at Butlins”.

Now - this comment has come back on me ten fold - she told the entire (large) family what it id said and now I’m thought of as snobby and jealous as well as “trying to be something I’m not”. In a conversation this morning with my mum she brought it up again and asked why id said that - I told her (again!) what she’d said about my holiday photos to which she replied “well I’m not been funny but it did look a bit boring for a child”.

So was I out of order for what I said??? And AIBU to think our holiday wasn’t “totally unsuitable” for a child?

You sound like you like my kind of holidays and I wouldn't survive a butlins style "forced entertainment" type!! Be my worst nightmare!
YANBU

GreyfriarsJobbies · 07/02/2026 20:23

Nah. It's not really snobby if it's true, and anyway if expressing the opinion that your holiday in Italy was better than the lowest-common-denominator dreck your sister prefers then well, I'll happily be badged the snobbiest snob in Snobton.

Ilikesundays · 07/02/2026 20:19

You’re upset because she criticised your holiday as boring for your dd. She took the Butlins jibe as a snobbish remark (sounds totally justified! But perhaps more tactful not to have said it.) laugh it off, make it up with your sister. This is such a silly thing by to have a tiff about.

Trainup · 07/02/2026 20:18

Oh come on. She’s seen that you’ve gone on a cultural sightseeing holiday that your DD loved and feels inferior because she went to an all inclusive so she lashed out. It’s the same as telling people they are too thin… you’d like that to be your reality but it isn’t so you scoff at it to convince yourself your reality is better. Basic psychology but still rude so she got what she deserved.

sesamecroissant · 07/02/2026 20:15

Holdinguphalfthesky · 07/02/2026 19:28

Pints, pizza, and burgers are generic, they could be from any country on any continent in the world. Why is pointing that out snobbish?

Show quote history

And may I add, people who only eat this on holiday and not trying any type of local cuisine have zero interest in given country’s culture. Why travel then.

Illegally18 · 07/02/2026 20:15

Swiftie1878 · 07/02/2026 14:27

Eh? It was her sister being rude that prompted the OP’s ‘snobby’ reply!

Don’t dish it up if you can’t take it!

Show quote history

exactly!

itsgettingweird · 07/02/2026 20:12

I don’t think you sound snobby.

Why is it ok for your sister to start saying your holiday looked boring and your DD must have been bored etc but it’s not ok for you to describe hers as Butlins the sun?

I lived in Tenerife for years and we described many of the hotels the same way 🤣

Wheresthebeach · 07/02/2026 20:08

Your sister was goady and rude - repeatedly. I would have told her to stop criticising your holiday as it’s not okay. Yes you snapped back, also being rude. That’s she’s run bleating to everyone else for a pile on is bad though. Not nice at all and playing the victim.

thenightsky · 07/02/2026 20:08

You looked at her photos and said they were nice.

She looked at your photos and criticised each one as she swiped through.

It is obvious who was rude and its not you OP.

ThatCyanCat · 07/02/2026 20:07

Well, on the one hand you were a bit snobby, on the other she was really rude and deserved it.

Ally886 · 07/02/2026 20:07

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 07/02/2026 14:22

Yep. You do sound snobby.

Everyone has a different idea of what makes a good holiday.

But you should not have been so rude about your sister's. I'm not surprised she's pissed off.

Maybe start with not calling other people's holidays boring?

suburburban · 07/02/2026 20:05

I’m surprised your dm even commented

your dsis wasn’t being very nice about your holiday

phoenixrosehere · 07/02/2026 20:05

Mapletree1985 · 07/02/2026 18:29

When I was a kid I would have loved your holiday. I was so interested in Rome, history, Pompeii, the classical world even then. I would have loved every single minute of it. I wouldn't have been so keen on the swimming pool and kids' club holiday.

Same. I was too along with Egypt and the Egyptians (thank ‘The Mummy’ movies with Brendan Fraser and learning about mummification in school). I don’t like being by a pool or a beach for days on end, and having gone to summer camp for years and wished I was in school instead, I definitely wouldn’t have been keen on a kids club. If I can do something in my own country, I don’t particularly see the point of spending the extra money and time doing it in another.

It’s why when we go on holidays with the in-laws I look for other things to do and take the local transport to other areas. Growing up, holidays were spent seeing different cultural and historical places, going to museums (many free), and I loved it. My dad said it wasn’t until he had children that he actually went on holidays that wasn’t to a family member’s house and back. Like me, he wanted to see the things that he saw in his history books and on television and feels blessed that he has lived to do so. I still remember his face when he saw Notre Dame in Paris before the fire.

rollinginthedeepsea · 07/02/2026 20:01

Your holiday sounds right up my street and hers sounds awful. Family is different to friends but I do have to be careful what I say when my friends talk about all inclusive in Tenerife with kids club and I say that’s sounds lovely for you an your family when in reality I can’t think of anything worse.
it’s true though, I couldn’t say anything negative about all inclusive without sounding snobby but people do like to make little comments on our trips to Asia with children even though I’m desperately not trying to show off or anything, it’s just what we like - temples, museums , galleries , no kids menu at meals. They literally love it.

cantthinkofagoodusername1 · 07/02/2026 20:00

sploshsplash · 07/02/2026 14:37

How old is your child? Was she really staring ahead at Mount Vesuvius after her morning of deep learning?
Maybe have a beer in the sunshine with a bit of bingo… might cheer you up. 😁

I believe this. My daughter shushed me the other day when I talked over her podcast about the War of the Roses. Some kids just love to learn.

Booboobagins · 07/02/2026 20:00

You don't sound snobby to me @Rayners I'm off to Butlin's for a 80's weekend and I frankly don't care what others think, I am soo looking forward to it. I've never been before.

As for your hols, yours sounds fab - that part of Italy is beautiful and full of history, they're still excavating Pompeii and Herculaneum and it's a great place to take kids imo.

Your sister sounds like she likes pool/beach hols. Each to their own. She was rude as F to you. Well done for standing up fir yourself. She is clearly ill educated if she does not think visiting the place affected by one of the worse volcanic eruptions ever is not worth seeing and learning about. I visited Herculaneum last summer on a cruise stop. I booked a tour with an archaeologist, it was brilliant. The kids on the tour with us has loads of Qs too.

Leave her prob with her.