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Original poster

I was snobby, apparently

692 replies

Rayners · 07/02/2026 14:18

last year sister was showing me her holiday photos. She went to Spain and the photos were basically the kids in a holiday club, the kids eating burgers, the kids eating pizzas, the kids in a swimming pool, her DH with a pint, her and her DH doing karaoke in a bar etc etc … all of the photos were taken in the hotel complex with a couple of shots at the beach. I said they were nice photos and left it at that.
Later in the year we (me, DH and Dd) went to Italy. I uploaded a few photos on Facebook but not many. When we got back sister asked to see my photos - I said they’re on Facebook so she said “there’s hardly any on there and they’re the boring ones, I want to see them all” so I gave her my phone to scroll through them.

After a bit of scrolling she started saying stuff like “god these are boring! Were you not bored? Dd must have been bored?”

The photos in question were picturesque cobbled streets, mountains, churches, castles and abandoned towns. I said “DD loved it” so she chose one photo to show me which “proved” that DD was bored … a picture of DD sat staring ahead … at mt. Vesuvius. The reason she looked emotionless was because she was fascinated by it and often sits and stares at things … especially considering what she’d learnt that morning in Pompei!

Sister kept going on about what a boring holiday it must have been and how we should think about DD next time etc so I snapped and said “she enjoyed the holiday! I’m not been funny but your holiday photos might as well have been taken at Butlins”.

Now - this comment has come back on me ten fold - she told the entire (large) family what it id said and now I’m thought of as snobby and jealous as well as “trying to be something I’m not”. In a conversation this morning with my mum she brought it up again and asked why id said that - I told her (again!) what she’d said about my holiday photos to which she replied “well I’m not been funny but it did look a bit boring for a child”.

So was I out of order for what I said??? And AIBU to think our holiday wasn’t “totally unsuitable” for a child?

OP posts:
pouletvous · 08/02/2026 08:02

Your sister is a dick to have commented in the first
place

Bleachedjeans · 08/02/2026 07:38

Not snobby at all. She was very rude about your holiday and bang out of order to suggest your DD is somehow being neglected. Eventually you were goaded into the Butlins comment.

LilyBunch25 · 08/02/2026 07:26

FuzzyWolf · 07/02/2026 14:24

You do come across as being snobby and looking down on what she enjoyed doing. I’d still prefer your holiday countless times over though.

Doesn't that work both ways though? Didn't sister criticise OPs holiday first or am I missing something?

SouthernNights59 · 08/02/2026 05:06

Your sister is an idiot, and if liking a holiday that is about more than stuffing your face and never leaving the hotel to go anywhere other than a beach makes you snobby then I'm proud to be snobby! You had your views of their holiday and kept them quiet until your sister came out with her inane comments, you've done nothing wrong.

If my family behaved like this (they most certainly wouldn't btw) I would be steering clear of them for a while.

feelingsarentfacts · 08/02/2026 04:38

This reply has been deleted

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HelenaWaiting · 08/02/2026 03:14

The snobbery (inverted) was your sister's.

PhaedraWas · 08/02/2026 03:09

Womaninhouse17 · 08/02/2026 03:00

We definitely don't all want to slob out on holiday and do the bare minimum! That's my idea of hell and I suspect the people I've met on touring/backpacking/hiking/activity holidays would agree with me.

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I think I'd prefer going to work rather than the sister's holiday.

JMSA · 08/02/2026 03:01

Talk about reverse snobbery - she was the one criticising your holiday first!
YANBU.

Womaninhouse17 · 08/02/2026 03:00

VaccineSticker · 08/02/2026 00:01

I have personally been on this type of holidays and they are pretty much like Butlins. She spoke the truth.. Many of us fail to admit that we all want to find somewhere to slob out on holiday and do the minimum. Sightseeing can be a pain and not appreciated by some younger children. People pick easy street holidays to chillax and have a good time, however most of these type holidays look samey unless you deliberately go out and do some sightseeing/activities outside the complex. The OP is not wrong. However you fail to see how this sibling is already is showing disapproval of her holiday snaps by saying where are your other pictures because she sees things from her own dimension, if anything, the sister’s OP is the one who is intolerant of other choices of holidays that are dissimilar to hers because they don’t fit in her definition of holidays.

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We definitely don't all want to slob out on holiday and do the bare minimum! That's my idea of hell and I suspect the people I've met on touring/backpacking/hiking/activity holidays would agree with me.

2021x · 08/02/2026 02:40

She is a twat... and can't take what she dishes out.

JerryJacksonitsroughoutthereNsoul · 08/02/2026 02:06

You said it to shut her yak
Totally understandable.

VaccineSticker · 08/02/2026 00:01

House12 · 07/02/2026 19:09

You’re each entitled to take your kids on whatever kind of holiday you like, and if your kid enjoyed it great. But, the stuff you’ve said here about her photos sounded pretty snobby -burgers and pizza and pints.. I think we can all read the judgment there. We’re all a lot more transparent than we think we are, so she probably felt that too, and wanted to get you back. And then you made the Butlins jab, and proved her absolutely right.

I have personally been on this type of holidays and they are pretty much like Butlins. She spoke the truth.. Many of us fail to admit that we all want to find somewhere to slob out on holiday and do the minimum. Sightseeing can be a pain and not appreciated by some younger children. People pick easy street holidays to chillax and have a good time, however most of these type holidays look samey unless you deliberately go out and do some sightseeing/activities outside the complex. The OP is not wrong. However you fail to see how this sibling is already is showing disapproval of her holiday snaps by saying where are your other pictures because she sees things from her own dimension, if anything, the sister’s OP is the one who is intolerant of other choices of holidays that are dissimilar to hers because they don’t fit in her definition of holidays.

Firefly1987 · 07/02/2026 22:57

@phoenixrosehere oh shoot I missed that! Totally the right thing then ignore my post! x

phoenixrosehere · 07/02/2026 22:41

@Firefly1987

OP did what was best for her daughter who is autistic.

My daughter would have hated their holiday - she’s autistic for a start so kids clubs would have been a no go, she wouldn’t have like the swimming pool due to the crowds and noise and she wouldn’t have been able to handle the noise at karaoke. Even the beach would have been too crowded for her. She did however, enjoy horse riding along a quiet beach, trying to draw the paintings in the churches and learning how to make pasta. And yes, she loved Vesuvius considering volcanoes were her special interest at the time. All kids are different and they don’t all love rowdy chaos

I doubt OP’s sister took her niece’s autism into consideration when she made such comments which would be the first instinct of a decent, thoughtful family member, not ridiculing the holiday because it wasn’t what she likes or her kids would.

JayJayj · 07/02/2026 21:53

I don’t take it as snobby, I take it as, they could have been anywhere.

Why is acceptable for you to be insulted but can’t give it back??

Last year we went to Tenerife. I do enjoy chilling by the pool but I also want to explore and sight see. We went with my in-laws 😑 they didn’t do much except stay by the pool. When they did come with us for a walk they were so slow and just wanted to shop.

You definitely make the holiday what you want. I don’t see the point of going to another country and not seeing it.

Jellybean200 · 07/02/2026 21:33

That comment feels totally justified to me. I’m with you, you weren’t being snobby, just fed up. What you said was fully warranted and she deserved it!

ghostofchristmaspasta · 07/02/2026 21:13

Soontobesingles · 07/02/2026 16:56

You ‘incorporate learning into everything’ is a ridiculous statement. All children are learning all the time. They are born hard-wired to do it. Even on a burgers and karaoke holiday they will learn - for example, arcade type activities have a little maths involved, they get to practice swimming learn new strokes, new games and make friends from different places/families. Maybe they will try some local cuisine at themed night in the resort restaurant. They might learn a choreographed dance at kids’ club! I am not sure taking my daughter to the exhibition on the Knights of Malta in Valetta gave her more useful learning than teaching her to swim in the pool at the AI in Crete where we never left the resort.

There is obviously such a thing as neglect, but a lovey family holiday filled with activities in a beautiful resort is not neglect.

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You’ve made some quite impressive leaps there. Let me try and clear up what I meant.

By ‘incorporating learning into everything’ I mean things like:

Learning the names of the trees, plants and critters we see on nature walks, identifying leaves and types of wildflowers. or doing maths in the supermarket, counting how much money we have to spend and how much things cost.

I never said children didn’t learn from all inclusive holidays, I simply said it was a weird take to be offended that someone else’s child was learning.

I don’t know where you got neglect from honestly, this is a very dramatic response.

AnnieLummox · 07/02/2026 21:10

If you poke someone enough times, they slap you.

AnnieLummox · 07/02/2026 21:09

KindnessIsKey123 · 07/02/2026 14:45

It’s not really about you being snobby though. She was rude and pretty much goaded you into making a negative comment about her holiday then is acting the victim. Any normal polite person would have just said your pictures look lovely. It’s rude for her to repeatedly be negative your life choice.

Sorry but I think she deserved it. No one has to take criticism from Family members. If she doesn’t like you, she’s done you a favour because she has shown you her true colours.

Yeah, this is pretty much it. The sister was doing that thing of asking someone 27 times “Are you sure I haven’t put on weight?” - and then when they finally crack and say “Okay, maybe a few pounds” bursting into tears and wailing “I can’t believe you said I was fat!!” 😭

BauhausOfEliott · 07/02/2026 21:06

Your sister sounds very rude, but you also sound like a snob. Neither of you come out of this especially well, really.

aeon418 · 07/02/2026 21:01

It seems to me that you gave your daughter an appropriate and stimulating vacation set to her tolerance. What a beautiful gift that is. I am sure she will always remember it.

What a shame it is that you have been mocked, bullied and reprimanded for this because your vacation was not instagram exciting. To hell with that.

I am sorry that your own sister and mom can’t even recognize what a stellar mom you have been. You deserve more support than this.

Firefly1987 · 07/02/2026 21:00

I can kind of see where your sister is coming from just because my parents took me on lots of holidays like this and I never got to meet any other kids. I just stayed in the car and slept half the time whilst they went off walking. Did go to Haven when I was 15 but too old to enjoy the kids stuff by then.

I think it's fine as long as you do some kid-centric holidays. If you're an only child or much younger sibling (as I was) it can get really lonely on holiday being the only kid around with no other kids to play with. She's definitely being mean how she put it across though!

WhyamIinahandcartandwherearewegoing · 07/02/2026 20:59

itsthetea · 07/02/2026 14:27

You did not comment at the time because you recognised you like different things and then she was bloody rude and that makes you snobby? She’s pathetic.

Yep 👍

Willowywisp · 07/02/2026 20:53

Your sister et al sound like total arseholes. In future I would refuse to tell them about any holidays and refuse to hear/see photos of theirs. (Btw your holiday sounds a million times better - they are the snobs - I've come across a lot of something I can only term as "working class snobbery" where people sneer at anything they perceive to be more "middle class" than their "working class" behaviours/choices).

WiddlinDiddlin · 07/02/2026 20:49

She's rude and goady.

You snapped, possibly not your finest moment but your comment is absolutely on the nail. Such photos could be taken in any hotel pool complex on a vaguely sunny day. Yawn.

I'd far rather go places and do things, see new stuff etc, I've never particularly liked the 'hanging around doing nothing' holidays, the rare ones we went to (Key Camp, France) I used to escape and take myself for a walk to find things that interested me. I spent half of one holiday helping at a French riding school for free rides (it was the early 90s, not sure you'd get away with that now without some parental involvement!).