Tiny bit of me wants to point out Karma (disability related)

Maybe you missed the title of the thread, where the OP mentions a bit of her wants to point out Karma. That implies that he is somehow deserving of what has befallen him. As I pointed out in my earlier post, there are people who believe that all disabled people must have done something wrong, or were being punished for something that they did in a past life. That would include the OP, ironically. Does she think that karma applies to herself in that regard, I wonder🤔.

I absolutely would mention it to him, and reiterate how hurtful it was when he said that to you. You can still help him, and offer support to your friend, but that doesn't mean you can't bring up how awful he was when your situation didn't affect him.

The idea that someone privately thinking 'karmas bitten you on the arse hasn't it' in this context, automatically means EVERY disabled person is so as a sort of divine retribution for earlier wrongs... is bizarre and frankly, wildly immature.

I once saw an absolute dickhead driver do several crazy dangerous overtakes, thought 'what a prick he's gonna cause an accident and I bet its not him that gets hurt'..

Three corners later, theres his car upside down in a ditch.

Sure, I definitely felt like he'd got what he deserved there (he was standing beside it on the phone and another vehicle had stopped and were helping).

It does not then automatically follow that I believe everyone who has a car accident deserves to have done so, nor that I would hope anyone would actually get hurt.

I agree entirely he's awful, that he doesn't deserve her help, and that she's fully entitled not to feel sorry for him.
Its only the 'karma' bit I don't like. I never like the idea of it, because it suggests bad things happen to bad people, which they obviously don't.

Some disabled people feel that way, not all. The same way that some people would say this is karma about this Man, not all people.

This post is such bad taste. It almost feels like you think he has got what he deserves.

...yeah, OP literally said exactly that herself?

Although tbf I don't see why people are so insistent on being kind to this tosspot, given he was happy to insult disabled people before it happened to him. It's not as though he just had an opinion, he was so rude to OP she had to leave the house. I'm not saying I'd be telling him told you so, but I wouldn't be helping him out either - OP is going above and beyond so not sure why people are criticising her!

He’s learned a very hard lesson. No need for you to mention it to him

In a nutshell my friends DH has always been very vocal about disabled people being a drain on society and that it should not matter how disabled someone is they should either work or go in a home. Benefits should not be allowed.

this conversation was had years ago and I ended up leaving the house as I myself am disabled and I work for a disability charity and part of that is help people filling in forms. He said that I was contributing to the problem!! He also said he ever found himself with a disability he would work.

anyway after a lot of bad blood we now tolerate each other for friends sake and the topic was never brought up.

3 months ago he had an car crash (not his fault) and he now facing life in a wheelchair. Suddenly he is wanting me to help with advice, benefits etc as it will take ages to get to a point where he can do some kind of work. he seems to have forgotten all he said before.

now I will help him for my friends sake and I won’t point out the irony of him being so against disabled people and now he is one himself. But a bit of me is temped.

it just goes to show it can really happen to anyone at any age at any time. I developed epilepsy at 23 and narcepsy at 27. My cousin was diagnosed with MS at 40. I also know many people through work who were not born with a disability but in later life due to accident or illness. Many of those have admitted they thought it would never happened to them and a few have even said they looked down on people with a disability.

I decided to write this thread now as a lady had put on another thread that vulnerable people should be at the bottom of the list when it comes to services and budgets. I am guessing she would change her tune very quickly if she found herself of someone she loves on the other side.

it can happened to anyone, any time, any age, any where. I think people forgot this.

I agree with you on most threads (under various names) but not on this.

As a disabled person myself, I don't take offence at what the OP has said. She's not saying ALL disabled people deserve it (she herself is disabled & Supports disabled people)

shes merely wanting to remind him of what a cunt he was!

yes she mentions karma, but u see that as shorthand for 'Iniw ge can see how revolting hus attitude us & don't want ti help him'

Its not about defending him. He's indefensible. It's seeing disability as a punishment that's in poor taste. No one 'deserves' disability and no one becomes disabled because they deserve it. There is no link whatsoever with having a horrible personality and becoming disabled and the thread is making that link.

Unlike those that glory in the idea of removing support from the disabled.

Then someone speaks about being disabled on those threads and people say "not you of course, you'll be ok" ...Knowing full well it will affect every disabled person.

Frightening a whole group of vulnerable people is ok? Commenting on how oblivious one able bodied person was is NOT ok?? 🤔

Some people also have an approach to life that they and their families don’t count in their pronouncements. It’s “different for them”.

I think this would be fair enough.

I get the mixed emotions of not being pleased that he has had such a devastating thing happen, but also a 'well, do you get it now?'.

I have a child with autism and sensory issues around food. DH has a 'best friend' who frankly i find insufferable. He's free with ill-informed advice and lacking in self awareness. When Ds1 was 7 this friend literally sneered at us when we were all out for dinner and DS only had fries and some crudites that i had brought for him and asked the venue if i minded me giving him at the table. His child was at that time not yet weaned and the friend opined long and loud and berated us for pandering and said that he and his wife were 'take no shit parents' and we were hopeless.

7 years later we were out at a pizza place and their child (newly diagnosed with autism and with issues around food) would not eat his pizza. They were in despair. I knew what they were going through. I felt sympathy. But i also recalled very well how fucking dismissive and offensive he had been. I confess that i kept the 'not so easy now, is it?' thought only to myself and never expressed it- not even to DH.

Best not to say anything, but I would hope he has enough self-reflection abilities to refer to it himself at some point.

Not in bad taste and if he is expecting your help as a friend vs professionally, I think I'd be unable to resist being a bit of a bitch.

'Oh, I thought you didn't believe in benefits. I believe you said disabled people should either work or be in a home... '

I don't believe people have any right to expect freedom from the consequences of voicing their awful opinions and ignorant ideas.

He upset you and was vile - now he expects help, I don't think it would kill him to have to deal with the consequences of his prior behaviour, ie, apologise and admit he was a clueless and unpleasant bellend!

I don't think the post is in bad taste at all. Self-serving people stay self-serving. I wonder if he regrets his previous attitude or if he thinks he's some kind of special case.

If you don't want to help him because he is a horrible person, that's understandable.
But I'm not loving the idea that disability is some sort of cosmic comeuppance for being a horrible person. Following that through to its logical conclusion isn't great for disabled people, is it?

It's called Fuck Around Find Out - lots of people think they're just too clever and hardworking to ever be genuinely fucked by things beyond their control. Sometimes - as in this case - they learn the hard way.

Oh really?

That's exactly how disabled people feel when they read posts on SM suggesting they're an undeserving drain on the system. Or work shy.

And every time I read that detritus I think...karma. Some people truly believe they'll always live charmed lives.

Until they don't.

Op hasn't said she's pleased just that now he may understand how awful his views were.
There's plenty of rhetoric at the moment about disabled people being able to work which is clearly bollocks. This person has now found out that's not true.