Brother sold mum's wedding ring

How has HE pocketed the money?

That should be in your mother's bank account

Sounds like you're disappointed that you didn't think of it first!

I think your brother is unreasonable to keep the money. But you are unreasonable to say the ring is given to you in the will and therefore you should be involved. It’s not your ring.

I would feel very upset if this had happened with my mum. My late mum’s wedding and engagement rings are among my most treasured possessions and although I don’t wear her wedding ring, it gives me comfort having it, knowing it was very precious to her. If this had happened to me, I would buy the ring back from whichever shop had bought it.

If you mother wanted to sell gold for money she would have held onto the money.

If you are named as a POA and its not active you need to have a conversation with your DM.

With a active POA you will have a legal obligation to safeguard her money. That will involve only spending money when it is in her best interest. Clearly her selling personal assets and transferring the money to someone else is not in her best interest and will be seen as financial abuse. If you are not willing or not able to stop your B from taking DMs money you should not take on the role of POA.

If it is active you need to get legal advice as B may be directly engaged in a criminal act and your failure to act could result in you being charged as well.

Hmm my sister imagines I did this, and tells this story to anyone who stands still long enough. She also imagines I stole some old (horrible) bedsheets 😂

In reality my Mum wanted to sell her jewellery and I took her and Mum kept the money for herself.

I sold some of my own at the same time.

My mum had a cousin a bit like this. When her mum went into a home she used to have ask him for the rent every month because he somehow managed to get my nan to give him her £50k savings to ‘look after’ before she went into the home. It was eventually returned when he was asked why he had taken control of her money anyway. Unlikely the interest he earned came back with it.

I have an uncle who "pursuaded" his elderly parent to buy their council flat in the 90s, that was signed over to him, he is now in his 80s and i still can't look at him,

What a scum bag. It definitely is financial and probably coercive abuse. Its mums wedding ring, why has he pocketed the money? I’d be giving dear brother a wide berth and thinking about whether it’s wise to have you both named on mums POA.

He probably had been drip dripping about carers stealing and then gold prices and then the stars aligned for him , he pocketed her money, how is that not financial abuse ?

Yep.

Of course it’s financial abuse. Read the PoA rules - he has a legal obligation to act in your mums best interest at all times, thus the funds should have gone to her.

If he’s also got a new van and you think he’s potentially taking further funds for himself, you must report him immediately to the OPG. [email protected]

Yes; it could have gone to OP for safekeeping. Brother has sold it purely for gain.

He needs to be reported to the OPG and removed from POA. As she ages, he will step up this financial abuse.

Financial abuse. Not sure what you can do about it if he and your mum are close though.

It sounds like coercive abuse, she could have just put the ring into safekeeping 🤷‍♀️

I would be discussing this idea for any other valuables she still has.

Grabbing the opportunity to make a quick buck off your mum is the financial abuse. It was her money and she should have kept it and decided for herself how or if to distribute it.

Of course it's financial abuse if he's just pocketing the money for himself!! It's HER jewellery. It's not like he helped her sell it and then paid the money into her bank account.

Your brother is abusing his poa.
I would be reporting him and getting him removed.

i’d be speaking to her along the lines of
i know you worry about db and i imagine his new van came from your bank account but selling your jewellery and letting him keep a grand, why? whats he doing with the money? he needs to make better choices and you holding him up may make him rely on you more rather than standing in his own two feet, which by his age one would expect.
i know you want to help him but i’m worried he’s getting more and more snd more if your money and you need to keep it for your frail old age which may be in a care home at £1k a week. you can be giving all your money to him. you may well need it.

i know also that you always said you’d leave us equal amounts in your will and thats would be great, and i dont like to think about the day youll no longer be here but if you give him his share now youll have to amend your will or he will get everything your giving him just now AND half of what's left, and if you're wanting to be fair that isn’t fair, but it’s your money alrhough youll want to honour dads wishes too as hed want it to be fair also.

The problem will be that the OPs mother is not willing to engage with the OP.

If the OPs mother has capacity there is very little that the OP can do.

DM has a right to make very bad decisions and the B will claim that the OP is bullying her over how she spends her money.

do you have the whole story?

Ask her. She’s an adult and can make her own decisions regarding her possessions & money, unless incapacitated. But you can also ask, and have a conversation about it.
If you feel that she favours him while it is you that spends more time with her, then stop spending more time with her. Focus on other things if the dynamic is getting you down.

If your mum was worried about the safety of her jewellery, she could have given it to you or your brother for safekeeping, she didn't have to sell it! I think I'd be concerned about your brother pressuring and financially abusing her to be honest. Not sure what you can do about it though 😔