Pensions

I mean fuck that guy, it's your money and your workplace benefit, if you make use of it that it is none of his business. How does he even know you pay in to a pension given your payments will come off your wages before tax.

Has he got any retirement plans? He is going to feel like a right twat when he only gets the state pension and you've got a private pension as well.

He sounds domineering - what gives him the right to lay down the law and make ridiculous decisions.
Of course it's not too late for you to pay into a pension, make additional payments if you already have one.

Seriously, read back what you have written.

You don't have to do it secretly. You pay into your pension because you're a grown up and he's not your keeper.

If you are at a point where you have to pay into a pension secretly, you need a new husband as well as a pension.

Definitely pay onto a pension. If your work offer one that might be the best route, your money will be taken before tax and NI and often your employer puts money in too.

If they don't you can get a SIPP. Ask on the money board for recommendations for a low cost one.

Does dh have a pension? It bothers me that you have been a SAHM whilst allowing him to build a retirement pot but you don't feel any of that money should be for your retirement. If you divorced you'd get half, it is as much yours as his.

I'll have to do it secretly as husband is so against them

Fuck that! This is your decision and there is no reason why you should have to keep it secret. You could build up a decent enough amount in 20 years.

What are your DH's plans for old age? Does he think you will be able to live adequately on state pension? Or does he has some macho idea that he will never need to retire? Or maybe, when the time comes, he will be expecting you to supplement his lifestyle with the pension funds you have saved.

Oh and 4) if your employer offers salary sacrifice for pension contributions, it’s even more important to utilise that benefit as much as you possibly can before Rachel Reeves ruins it for everyone in 2029.

1. He hasn’t seen ‘people lose loads of money on them’. That’s just bullshit. They go up and down over the 40 odd years people pay into them, but for the vast, vast majority of people, by the time they retire, they’ve grown enormously.
2. If he mistrusts them so much, presumably he doesn’t have one either. So what exactly does he expect to live on once you’ve both stopped work?
3. Yes, you should absolutely start paying as much as you can into one.

Just noticed you are now working, do you have a company pension and if so, can you increase your contributions?
Even if you do there is no reason not to set up a private one as well.

Never too late to start and as you say, your 40's gives you 20yrs to save.
If he won't have a sensible, adult conversation about it then yes, arrange it yourself.
I would never say it wasn't a possibility that a major financial crash could affect you pension but that is rather an extreme event and having lived through a couple, my pension bounced back with a vengeance. The vast majority of people save healthy pension pots and the longer you have the better. Don't forget you get tax relief as well so that is an added incentive.