Pensions

Start now. Never take anyone else’s opinion about money and finance as your strategy. They may be wrong and they may have a different approach to money. None of that will matter if you split.

Is he financially controlling in other ways OP?

I bet he has got a pension but keeps it a secret. I don’t like the sound of him.

Eh? He’s the one saying not to get a pension so I’m asking how he proposes they live when they retire, if he knows so much about it. Like, literally what does he say when you ask him….

At no point anywhere did I make a comment that men are meant to look after women?! Bizarre.

If your husband earn why is he against free money from the government?

I totally agree about pensions being relatively safe.

But he is not the only one responsible - when you say 'how is he proposing you both live' you hopefully mean 'how are they both proposing to live'. They're both adults. They're both responsible. Its not just for him to provide for her. That concept died over 50 years ago.

He’s an idiot. Virtually no-one loses money on a pension. It’s the whole point of them - a safe way to ensure you have money when you retire.

How is he proposing you both live when you retire? What off of? State pension is about £11k a year…..

Your husband sounds financially illiterate and controlling to boot. I'd be thinking about sacking him off and paying max possible contributions into your work pension scheme.

If your DH doesn't think pensions work, presumably he doesn't have on either - so what's his plan for your shared old age??

Don't know why but this thread stuck in my mind this morning, probably because of the severe level of stupid in it. Questioning whether it's too late to start a pension is pretty stupid. It is NEVER too late to start a pension. Even if you're 60, it's not too late. Just think of it as saving.

Secondly your husband is even more stupid (or lying to you).

Life is for living and I don't agree with working people being a slave to a pension and throwing absolutely everything in. I would much prefer to have money to spend while I'm young and able, but there's a happy medium. Life is going to be very challenging if you're reliant on the state pension, make sure you put something in, it's amazing how quickly it builds.

Wtf, so is your husband not paying into one either? What on earth is his plan when you both retire? Just live off state pension?

Well, your husband was an arse for discouraging you, so I'd be suggesting he deposits a lump sum payment into your pension to cover the years he said not to bother and let you raise your children instead of build a secure financial future. (Obviously, he won't do that - because he's an arse - but I would calmly point out that he was fundamentally wrong and ask why he wanted to ensure you were destitute in your old age. Saving for retirement isn't a new concept.)

After that, yes, start putting money away into your pension. As much as you can afford and, if you can join your company scheme, take advantage of any employer contributions and a salary sacrifice payment method (if available). It's never too late to start. Something is always better than nothing.

I'll have to do it secretly as husband is so against them

This is so worrying. Has your husband never paid into a pension or did he just not want to pay into one on your behalf when you was a SAHM. What are his plans for retirement? Either way it’s never too late to start paying into one asap.

Your husband can decide for himself what he wants to do regarding his pension and you must do the same.
I can't stress how important it is not to live on just state pension in our old age ... a miserable existance!

Sorry but why did you marry that idiot? Ask him what the fuck he plans to live off when he's old. Does he expect never to give up work? Does he expect to live if savings? Do you have a massive house that will sell, allow you to buy smaller and live off the profit? How is he going to afford a decent care home if he lives to 99? Doesn't he want to leave the kids anything?

Tell him if you were 68 years old now you would receive £25,000 approx state pension between you. Well no you may because of you have been a SAHM.

It's not too late. But bloody talk to him.

What kind of company do you work for? What type of pension scheme do they have?

Your husband is against them? What???

A pension is basically just a tax wrapper. You could have a pension with only cash in it or property. If he hasn’t been saving for retirement because he doesn’t understand pension and would be angry at you for doing so then he’s being an idiot. You really need to understand what provision you both have for retirement and have a sensible conversation about how you will manage financially.

Just ask your work pension to make additional voluntary contributions. It comes straight out of pay, not your bank account. You can build it up over time too, so if you get a pay rise, put the percentage directly into a pension. I make contributions to top us to what a full time pension would be as I only work 4 days a week. The quicker you start, the better, as it will have longer to grow.

Yes it's never too late to start but your husband sounds like he's financially controlling you to the point of abusiveness. Are you sure you want to stay with him? He has been trying to crpple you financially and force you to feel helpless without him but the law will be on your side if you choose independence. You will be fully entitled to half the equity of the house and half the value of his pension as well as half of any other assets that have been built up during your marriage (even if held in his name only) - would that be enough to build a independent life for yourself? If something so clearly sensible as saving for a pension is something you would have to keep secret, that is a red flag that he is a nasty piece of work.

I started a personal pension at about age 40 putting in 20% of my earnings and after 10+ years it has grown well and while it won't be a super dooper income it will hopefully be enough so long as the state pension doesn't get completely obliterated before I retire.

Your husband doesn't know what he is talking about as regards pensions - or that is an excuse for not supporting you with contributions while you were a SAHM. Not too late to start a pension, still 20 years of contributions ahead of you.

Do it secretly or not - whatever works better for you, but do get saving so you're not reliant on this fool.

Find a compounding interest calculator on line OP. You will feel much more optimistic when you see how relatively small contributions compound over time. And ignore your husband.

I agree with pp, you should be paying into a pension if you can. You won’t build up as big a pension pot as if you’d started 20 years ago, but you’ll be in a better position than you are now.

Also, what does your DH picture happening when you both reach retirement age? What does he think you’re both going to be living on when you’re too old to work if neither of you have a pension?
Does he think that the state pension will be enough to meet all needs? Or does he think you’ll both be able to continue working indefinitely?

He's an idiot. .My work pay £7k a year into my pension, I pay 6k. even if it halved in value (highly unlikely) I'd still be up. Does he throw away free money from his employer by not contributing? Do you? If you haven't joined your employers scheme, do it now.

What are his plans for your retirement then? I have a great pension, no mortgage paid off yet but i’d far rather my retirement be sorted and able to enjoy it after years of working hard.

I had a small private pension in my twenties as I was self employed. In my thirties I was mostly a sahp and didn’t have a pension. I then got a part time job in my forties where I paid £20 a month into a pension. A couple years ago I saw dhs wage slip and realised he paid more in to his pension than I earned every month. Whilst I know he’s doing it for our future I realised I was financially vulnerable if he died young or we split. I immediately changed this I took out a AVC on my pension which I paid £200 a month into, anytime I get any overtime or a pay increase it goes on my pension. It’s not huge but currently I’m set for around 15k per year plus state pension. Which I think I could live off if I end up alone. I will continue to increase it though.