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Original poster

I'm too boring for DH

504 replies

Wowserbowser88 · 06/02/2026 23:20

Not even sure where to start with this one

Dh has been off with me all week. Snappy, short answers to any questions and just not engaged at all.

He had a drink tonight and finally admitted that he thinks i'm too boring for him. Because I don't have many friends. Don't go out and when I do its usually with work friends.

He thinks I am a terrible friend because I don't have many so I must be.

I don't go to any clubs or activities etc and we don't go out at the weekend often.

Here's the thing.. we have 2 children (8 and 4.) Both work full time and up until a year ago he worked shifts (earlies/lates/nights) so I could never make plans as he was always on shift. Even now he often works shifts. tho less of them and has weeks where he is on call 24/7 so I can't do anything

He also goes to football most weekends all day on Saturday so i'm at home with kids and he may stay put in the pub after until late

He was away with work last week and said he sat in a hotel room just thinking how badly he'd messed up by marrying someone so boring

He seems to think people, even with young children are out socialising every weekend and we're not and the children will suffer because of it

OP posts:
Crushed23 · 07/02/2026 13:18

I think there’s two things going on here.

  1. He’s horrible and a terrible communicator. Unless there’s a big backstory, how dare he speak to you like this?
  2. You do seem to be spectacularly incompatible. If my partner used the fact that we had an 8 year-old and a 4 year-old for not doing much outside work and the children, I would get frustrated too, as socialising, maintaining friendships and holding onto pre-kids identities is incredibly important to me. (Though I would never voice my frustrations in the appalling way your DH has…)

It might be time to go your separate ways.

Snaletrale · 07/02/2026 13:17

This will all be a hard read for you OP. Hope you take the opportunity to do something about it, but do it for you- not him. He’s an arse.

He’ll have less time when he’s parenting alternative weekends, or in the shorter term giving up alternative Saturdays or looking after them on Sundays.

DemelzaandRoss · 07/02/2026 13:15

What a nasty, horrible, uncaring, insensitive man.
This must’ve been a shock to you.
New year, old DH out.
Legal advice
LTB

EmbroideredGardener · 07/02/2026 13:12

Paperwhite209 · 07/02/2026 13:03

This was my first though too, and I am
very much not a person who usually jumps to the old 'cherchez la femme' trope.

Has this come out of the blue? I'm wondering what happened when he was away for work last week tbh.

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Also this! He wont have much time for all day football and drinking when he has the kids 50/50.

You deserve so much better than this arsewipe, whether he has cheated or not

SomeoneCalled · 07/02/2026 13:11

has he met a wine drinking, curvy, loud, noisy pub frequenting woman who happily gives access to her privates.....is my train of thought

EmbroideredGardener · 07/02/2026 13:11

ProfessionalTeaDrinker · 06/02/2026 23:27

You need to go back to him and say that you are really pleased he's noticed, you feel the same and are so grateful that he understands and will now be giving up his Saturday football so you can have the time to socialise while he watches the kids.....

100% this

SinisterBumFacedCat · 07/02/2026 13:09

He’s just a cunt.

Fernticket · 07/02/2026 13:09

ReadingSoManyThreads · 07/02/2026 00:49

💯

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He is an utter c#"t

Ellie56 · 07/02/2026 13:03

Did you tell him how badly you'd messed up marrying such an arsehole?

Paperwhite209 · 07/02/2026 13:03

ByDreamyNavyDreamer · 06/02/2026 23:30

I would be looking for evidence he’s cheating. He’s looking for ways to blame you.

This was my first though too, and I am
very much not a person who usually jumps to the old 'cherchez la femme' trope.

Has this come out of the blue? I'm wondering what happened when he was away for work last week tbh.

MyNextDoorNeighbourVotesReform · 07/02/2026 12:56

Wowserbowser88 · 07/02/2026 00:08

So we do try and go out just is once a month for dinner. We have limited family to support bit do try when we can

He says its boring we don't do a lot st the weekends and the kids don't see their friends every weekend. I didn't think thay was abnormal at this age

He said that I could message the wives of his football mates more and try and be more social and arrange for us all to get together and no one messages me because i'm boring

What an absolute vile cunt he is

He sounds the dull boring one in the marriage, not you.

pinkyredrose · 07/02/2026 12:55

Wowserbowser88 · 07/02/2026 00:09

Oh and I should take a look at myself and see what a mess I am as all i have is the children and work

He's an arsehole. I'd seriously be consulting a solicitor on Monday. Life's too short to spend it with someone that hates you.

Wellthisisdifficult · 07/02/2026 12:55

I suspect he wasn’t sat alone in his hotel room last week, he’s gearing up for a divorce and looking for ways to blame you

dreichluver · 07/02/2026 12:53

This man is supposed to love you. Get your ducks in a row.

brightpinkchoc · 07/02/2026 12:53

He's got someone else in his eye. He's looking for reasons. Bastard.

watchingthishtread · 07/02/2026 12:51

His head has been turned.

This is classic behaviour. He's making it your fault.

SunnyRedSnail · 07/02/2026 12:48

Wowserbowser88 · 07/02/2026 00:09

Oh and I should take a look at myself and see what a mess I am as all i have is the children and work

I would be telling him you quite agree and therefore every other Saturday he can have the kids and you will be going out to do something fun and meet more people!

maryberryslayers · 07/02/2026 12:41

Text book having an affair and trying to make you and your failings the reason he's going to leave you only to confess he's 'met someone' a couple of weeks later.

Tell him you agree and it's best he leaves now. He can have the children a day each weekend which will mean you are free to socialise also.

Ihaveneedofwaternear · 07/02/2026 12:38

Alwaytired44 · 07/02/2026 11:50

Why????? Because her husband said so?? What if she’s happy with her set up? I’m a home bird and despise socialising so if my husband said that to me I’d have to tell him to pack his bags as I’m not enduring an activity that I don’t like (socialising) just to appease an arsehole like that.

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Oh no, not if she doesn't want to. I just meant, fuck him, get yourself out and let him do the childcare

Isthateveryonethen · 07/02/2026 12:27

What a horrible nasty man. You are doing nothing wrong, you sound like any other woman who has young kids. You deserve so much better than this man op.

Willowywisp · 07/02/2026 12:25

He fancies someone else. He wouldn't be thinking like that if he hadn't had his head turned by another woman. Do not let his bullshit get in your head. Seriously, I wouldn't get into any of his personal attack conversations. Very matter of factly I would end this before he ruins your self worth. Something along the lines of "well, if you regret marrying me I think the only solution is to get a divorce asap". Go speak to a lawyer, sortd out the practicalities and figure out what you want in terms of how he sees the kids.

crazeekat · 07/02/2026 12:24

He’s an asshole. You deserve way better. What has he done to actually get u out the house? When does he make time for his kids so u can actually go out? He’s a selfish p

FasterMichelin · 07/02/2026 12:15

Was he even on a work trip? Or spending the week with someone “more exciting”?

Beatriz85 · 07/02/2026 12:15

Sorry to rant but what a shitty patriarchal society we live in where the women must look great, look after the kids and homes AND have a full time job (otherwise you're a sponger). On top of all this you are expected to be a social butterfly??? Who actually has time for everything?
Great if you have supported network to help with childcare but many couples don't.

FasterMichelin · 07/02/2026 12:13

So who’s this “exciting” person he’s comparing you with?

Im sorry to say it sounds like he’s had his head turned. Hes gone from being fine to suddenly thinking you’re boring?

Im going to guess he’s comparing you to a child free woman (colleague?) who’s potentially showing some interest. Your husband sounds unkind and stupid. Life with young children is normally boring, but also lovely and homely. He needs to wake up and smell the coffee or he’s about to make a huge mistake.

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