I'm too boring for DH

Oh good lord he's got the whole bingo card of 'reasons why I had to leave my dreadful, boring, frumpy wife' going on there. My exhusband did exactly the same 30 years ago. He started a shiny new job when our children were 3 and 2 and suddenly he needed new clothes for the ' dress down Fridays '. He started going to the pub with them after work. They were fun and exciting ( they got drunk and smoked and I'm asthmatic and was basically entirely responsible for our 2 children all the time so , in his eyes I was desperately dull because I wasnt interested in doing either). One of them had a boat so he started sailing with him and a couple of others ( they were divorced and child free so that added to the 'oh you poor thing your wife is so dull')He started an affair with a 17 year old from the cash office, left us and started the bingo card of midlife crisis man ...sports car, balding so always wore a cap or gelled his hair to create a solid nest over the bald patch, sexy flat in town, cowboy boots ( they were a real low point). I was dull, boring, physically repulsive, having sex with me was a chore. Why didn't I have nice clothes ? Well we're spending all the disposable income on Levis and boots so you can strut about at work . You have my absolute sympathy Op. It sounds as if he's creeping that way. You have a job abs slightly older children. See a solicitor and protect yourself. Make plans .

What does he do in terms of childcare?
I'm wondering if he leaves the majority of it to you.

Well if he has such a great life, a great social life, amazing friends, tell him that’s wonderful and you can be included in that! He can sort out and pay for babysitters whilst you’re all out with the football lot….he can babysit 3/4 nights a week whilst you join a gym and enjoy a drink in the bar with the new friends you’ll meet there. You can inform him you’ll like to join a dance class together (insert other hobbies here) so you can meet new friends and socialise together in something new. Also tell him you’d like to work part time so you can have the energy for all this , plus he’d have to 50% of the school drop off and pick ups so you can get to new classes at your new gym to make new friends.

And I’m serious with all the above. Just do you can see how serious he is. Is he comparing you to the football wives? To another woman/crush? Are the football husbands all sit down the pub swapping notes or something??

I would hazard a guess that he’s actually bored and is projecting it onto you.
He works, goes to football and then the pub. He’s hardly setting the world on fire is he?!

This all sounds like a cover for something else. I really hope he’s not having an affair.

I am so sorry for you that you’ve been so nastily treated like this. This man is your husband and should in theory walk on hot coals for you, not put you down and abuse you.
You are not boring. He is a selfish prick who gets to go to his football every weekend and then has the audacity to have a go at you. Please just get ready and go out this morning. Literally shout,’ see you later. Be good for your dad, kids!’ And go. If he rings/texts, tell the twat that you’ve taken his advice on board and this will be happening every Saturday from now on.

Jesus- he is revolting and yes has probably had he head turned. I would be kicking him out and staring divorce proceedings.

He's almost certainly looking elsewhere or has already found someone.

Cherchez la femme

My first instinct is that he is on his way out…either an affair or just wanting to be single with the lads again …both super immature as a man with two kids . He could have had that conversation by looking at ways for you to socialise a bit more and him support that, or discuss babysitters so you could spend more time together . Suggest both, and his reaction will show you how committed he is to moving forward as a family . Don’t fall for being called boring when you are sacrificing a lot to do the most important job in the world ( mostly alone by the sound of it ) good luck

What an absolutele self-obsessed, BORING, motor-mouthed, moronc arsehole he is!

I know it won't be easy with 2 kids, but dump him as soon as you can, file for divorce.

He's up his own arse with his ginormous ego.

I feel so sorry for your kids having him as a barely part-time ''father''.

DON'T tell him you're leaving, with the kids, make some type of secret plan to live somewhere else, preferably miles and miles away, where it would take him forever to find you. Move in with friends or family, rent or buy somewhere, even if it's just something basic for the time being, as long as you 3 are safe.

Then, when he comes back one day/night from his shifts or his boring football and pub, you 3 won't be there.

Block his phone number and emails, and change the door locks so he'll have to pay for a locksmith to get in, block him in any way you can.

Maybe there's some sort of organisation that can help you.

It sounds like he's either shagging some bimbo or planning to do it.

Please, leave him as soon as you possibly can.

This OP. LTB.

Cheeky pig!

OP get your 🦆 🦆 🦆
Part of that is building a new support network/ social group. You’ll need them when you LTB. They may also be able to set you up with someone new.
So, msg the footballers WAGS and schedule a Friday night dinner drinks out once a month. Also schedule a regular Saturday coffee catch up / brunch. Even at a home or a place for kids.
When you LTB make him have the kids alternate Saturdays so he can forget his weekly football and his night out with a free babysitter - you.

Oh cut it out. OP isn’t to blame for her husband being a prick 🤦‍♀️

I bet he's hardly a fascinating little bunny, himself.
What a jerk.
I agree with PP, he wants out. Start making plans but play your cards close to your chest.
Better times await you.

I completely agree with you and this was my first thought. But the reality is that the OP is very unlikely to leave her marriage off the back of a Mumsnet post. Which let’s be honest, is the only long term solution for marrying such a total a. She shouldn’t have to tolerate ever, it’s not going to stop.

Leave him. Let’s see how fun he is when he has to miss football to look after his kids at the weekend.

He shifting blame onto you as a way ro leave the marriage. Its the start of "the script " . Get your ducks in a row and quickly. He's looking for an out

Well, he hasn’t really gone the right way about this has he. He could have handled it with more care and tact and definitely shouldn’t have done it after a few drinks.

I can empathise, my DH can be very boring too. I’m just being honest, it doesn’t make me a prick to think this. He loves talking about his job but he can literally do this for hours and it’s a completely boring tedious job. I shut off and disengage but he still talks. So yeah, I do find him dreadfully boring at times.

Your DH fucked this up, he shouldn’t have attacked you like this. Having minimal friends doesn’t mean you’re boring either.

This ⬆️ 👏 Don’t stand for it OP

Can I just say to all those posters debating how often op goes out ,or that she should tell her husband to miss football so she can go out instead... none of this relevant to this issue, her husband is being abusive and toxic. He talking down to op, hes belittling her , he isnt simply asking for more social time, hes calling her a mess? Hes saying he messed up marrying her. This is all vile and im surprised how many ppl here are even debating the social aspect here. Op can be more social, what happens next time he isnt happy with ops behaviour. Is this how he intends to control her ?

This!!! Please do this!

He has been pissing on you and now he complains that you smell!

He is out socialising every weekend. What is he doing to facilitate you having the life he wants you to have? Tell him you'll be away next weekend, getting the life he wants you to have.

Tell him to be careful that the door doesn’t hit him on the way out …he’s an arsehole shitbag cuntychops prick