To avoid all family gatherings

Well, perhaps you or your DP should make it clear next time that there should be no talk about politics. Have either of you ever spoke out at one of these gatherings?

I've got a family member like this. I don't limit any contact, I just challenge it and chat with my DC about why I think it's wrong. There will be no way of them being protected from far right views, so hearing them when I'm present and able to challenge the views is the better way for them to learn about it.

YA definitely NOT BU!! They sound horrific.
One thing I've learned is that it's impossible to have any kind of balanced discussion with Reform supporters.
Scary really. I remember a patient (I'm a community nurse) once telling me about a German nanny her family had in the early 1930s when she was a child.
They had to ask her to leave because 'she was always on the phone to her family shouting 'Heil Hitler' '. (As the patient described it!)
Apparently- I can't remember exactly how the story went- they spoke to her a few years later when she was very contrite and said she'd been caught up with everyone else and truly believed the Nazi party had been the best hope for Germany.
Most reform supporters I've encountered are bordering on being fanatical and I think removing yourself and your kids is the only sensible option at this point. I'm really sorry it's happening though. X

unlikely
The issue is not their political opinions but the way they express them
My SIL supports Reform and will vote for them aas soon as she gets a chance to but she is not a total Twat about it. We disagree politically but we still get along fine s neither of us are offensive with our views

Have you ever thought they might have a point?

Sharing in a controlled way and balanced, if by yourself, likely wouldn’t be balanced at all. Most people aren’t balanced. Politically the vast majority sit in echo chambers, listening to people who think the same as them. I bet the radio and TV you watch largely backs up your own views and agrees with your train of thought. I’m not saying this is wrong, we largely will all do this - but balanced information sharing with your teenagers it certainly won’t be.

I also imagine if you asked most people who supported Labour/Tory etc what policies they liked which bettered their life - most could not answer. The majority blindly support a party for their sentiment, or because they were raised that way or they like the personality of the Leader etc.

Exposing your kids to the family will help them form their own opinions and truly see the political divide and opposition. Don’t sensor it, makes you just as bad as your relatives. Instead go home and discuss their comments and why one side may have that view Vs why you do not.

Anyway…yeah if they can’t talk about anything else I would probably distance too. It’s boring. Christmas dinner started like this with us and the elderly in the family. Most of us just sat there and didn’t contribute and eventually changed the convo rather than engaging. I love politics - I don’t want anyone’s views shoved down my throat - whether they’re they are same persuasion as me or not.

I'm with you. We get collared by my husband's family members are parties to ask if we're voting reform. No we're bloody not! It's a pain in the arse.

that was the perfect opportunity to drop the mug? or just ignore them? Or talk about how iconic the union jack is and how it is used in lots of designs etc

Time to break out the Karl Marx t-shirts, or Sex Pistols t-shirts etc?

But tbh, i just wouldn't bother with them. Your DH wants to visit, up to him. If he wants to take the DC that's on him to balance.

It's not difference of opinion I have an issue with (sometimes it can be very interesting when managed well in a respectful, balanced discussion) but there are people where it's not a discussion, they just want to forcibly ram their repetitive, soundbite, simplistic opinions at you again and again and again. It's not an exchange of differing ideas, they want you to submit and comply. It's a cult-like level of thinking and they let it dominate their life and think it should dominate yours too.

I have distanced myself from a few people because of it because it's tedious and selfish behaviour and the people that do it tend to have simplistic opinions with little respect for the nuance of human life.

I would struggle with this too as I don’t think Reform have any real policies and are just racist bigots/one trick ponies. I have had many debates with their supporters as I work for the NHS and know that immigrants are not the main issue! I agree the whole system needs to change, but I really don’t think Reform are the answer. Farage makes me feel sick, he is far too keen on Trump for my liking.

The movie 'the anniversary' on netflix is about this

YANBU. I wouldn’t have anything to do with them.

Can you not treat like some kind of game, subtly tear their arguments down?

I would avoid them because they are idiots rather than due to any political affliations

I’m no fan of Reform, and I think they would be very bad for our country, but as lots of people support them you kids will get exposed to them anyway. Plus it isn’t like they are a far right party like the BNP or NF etc are/were

Of course it's nothing to do with policy, it never is with Reformers.
I am quite happy to have a genuine debate with people with different opinions.
I've learnt so much from doing so.
Being mocked and ranted at by racists is completely different though.

Obviously homophones should be homophobe.
Nothing to do with different words that sound the same
My brain has turned to mush with pain, pain killers and the menopause.

I have close friends who have different political opinions from mine, but we manage to spend time together pleasantly by avoiding the subject.

But OP's family insist on rehashing the same political conversations every time the family gets together, so instead of family get together being warm and happy occasions, they're about divisiveness.

If my friends insisted on constantly bringing up our differences and weren't prepared to change the subject, I'd stop meeting up with them.

Ultimately it's not about the politics itself, it's about the occasions being unpleasant and no fun.

This is bollocks though isn't it.
As a pp mentioned when people support reform it goes beyond opinion and is about values.
Reform supporters don't just veer more to the right, they have completely different values to people who are not racist, homophones, misogynistic etc etc.
I know plenty of right wing Tory voters who hate reform and see them and their voters as the threat that they are.
It's not about staying in a bubble or not exposing yourself and your dc to people to different opinions.
This is not spending time with racist arseholes who force their opinions on you, laugh at your opinions, make comments about OPs DH being under the thumb because he doesn't agree with them. It's not exactly fun, I wouldn't go either.

So you don’t like their political opinions so that makes you right and them wrong? I think they would be glad if you distanced yourself

Maybe.

I see Reform as a big red panic button which allows us to collectively send a signal that if responsible people don't do something about the omni-crises we face, irresponsible people will

up to you but I’d hate to live in my own little bubble with people who only agree with me

Teaching your kids to avoid all ideas contrary to your own is not a good look and doesn't teach tolerance, acceptance of other viewpoints or rational logical evaluation for themselves.
But I totally understand not wanting to have to listen to politics every bloody time you visit.