DP just isn't interested in DS

This is a good idea. I was and still am absolutely crap at kids make believe games but did get them to help with laundry cooking, take them to park/ museums/ bus rides etc. . And became the hairdressing customer while they plaited and combed my hair etc

Not everyone is the same And if you think of it ( especially those born before the 90s ) did parents actually spend that much time " getting down. On the floor" to play? I really cannot recall it happening in anyone I knew

I would start him now doing the things you normally do for DS like bath, bed time , meals and you mentioned your son won't even walk to car with out you, get him used to doing it with your partner now before baby comes or it will be a shock for DS and difficult for all and he will likely resent the baby for the change. Also your partner should just take him out, walk around the block, parks, soft play, libary etc he needs to get used to doing things alone with him without you being there to fall back on they will find thier own grove . You will have a small baby that will be taking up your time and attention your DS is going to sttuggle with that if your his sole care giver and doing everything for him then your suddenly not so inolved, so its really essential your partner steps it up right now to make the transition easier for all

That's great then, I'm so glad because I wasn't sure how interested he was from your previous posts.
What does your dp like doing himself? Is there any way he can share that time with your ds?
So he doesn't have to force himself to play or be silly, but just share his time and space in a more child -centric way.

Some eg going for walks, letting ds "help daddy" in a safe way eg cooking, pulling up weeds, digging, going to museums, folding towels, looking at trains online.(My son was train obsessed at that age!) etc

I think your partner is getting a hard time on here - your title doesn't help because it doesn't sound like he isn't actually interested in DS. Instead I'm getting the impression that he is hard working and tired and also not a naturally playful person. I also wonder if he is young like you? And you sound like a very loving mother and partner who is stressing about the upcoming birth of your child and the impacts that will have on your older boy (some guilt there maybe..). Your partner doesn't need to parent like Bluey's dad to be a great dad, I don't think my DH ever did imaginative play and our DC are well adjusted teens with a fantastic relationship with their dad. I get wanting to help your partner but I also worry you are going to damage his confidence if you don't let him find his own way.

You keep saying you wonder if your do needs longer to learn, but does he want to?

You can learn anything but if you don't have a desire to spend time with your own child, skills aren't going to help.

For sure… That’s why I said now is not the time. But do keep it in the back of your mind as it will become the the time to think about it at some point (in the next 5 years)

You’re right. I’m a bit hard faced. Small children are exhausting. My DH definitely bonded better as they were toddler’s, full of character.

It probably wouldn’t be financially feasible to get back to work.
I have to say that you are a lovely patient person, good for you. I hope this is a blip and he can bond with the children.

He is a disinterested father, sad really. He either copes on, grows up or loses his family.
I wouldn’t waste years trying to change him or having to over compromise because he lacks the intelligence to love and interact with his children.,

Absolutely crazy to bring another child into this world…he sounds like he cba to me and you just make excuses for his laziness

Sorry for my terrible spelling and grammar 🙈
Definitely pushing for retesting bloods sounds a good idea. I've also saw at boots they do mini kits of blood tests for certain things like anemia, not sure if they've got a diabetes one. I think you can buy a blood sugar tester and test own sugars anyway ?
Otherwise I've seen private blood tests like Thriva which looks interesting

Perhaps also he needs to increase his exercise. It may gain him some energy
Even one class a week swimming, yoga or spin/circuits etc at a local gym

I think you are mostly projecting as this doesn’t sound like what’s the OP is describing.

But I do agree that sooner or later the OP needs to sit down and think about going back to work or financial protections for herself and long term goals for the family financial health.

However this moment with #2 imminent is not the time.

I'd just let him figure it out though your son is young and will expand his speech and interests in time. The warmer weather will help too as he can do painting or messy stuff outside, gardening and weeding, pottering about using tools.. healthy for dads mental health and his son to learn to grow stuff. 99% of the time nothing will grow hut they love messing around in sand and dirt, burying stuff, using Digger tots, planting apple cores and seeds etc or plants from garden centre

Perhaps he could take him to the cinema for the kid screenings etc
If he isn't super playful that's fine lots of people have a stoic/intellectual/introvert type parent, as long as he is vocal and tells his son he loves him and is proud of him and tries to narrate what he and son are doing to improve his speech. Perhaps he could introduce some kid board games like the orchard toys ones.. matching pairs or snap or a jigsaw. Easier than playing pretend or just running around randomly

That you would want another one? What about him? What did he want?

Understood… those are tough hours to work around without kids in the mix. If at all possible try to prioritize some time with just the two of you Eve if you just stare at each other in exhaustion.

FWIW, Nothing you’ve said to me sounds terrible or unworkable. Maybe it’s not ideal but it will get the job done 🙂

He allowed me to give up money to be with our kids as much as possible so in my eyes we are a team. I just want to know how to help him

You are not married. You earn 2 days worth of minimum wage. Which he ‘allowed’…

You are entirely focused on caring for your son and his useless dad.

One day all this will blow up in your face and you’ll find yourself alone and penniless, with two children to support. The ‘team’ you think you are part of is mostly in your head.

It's quite likely, at this point in time, that he believes what he is telling you. However, he is weak, lazy and not cut out to be a supportive father.

He will either continue as he has been, and you will wear yourself out trying to keep this leaking ship afloat, or he’ll decide that it’s all too much and walk away.

Put your own needs and those of your children FIRST. By all means hope for the best…..but plan for the worst.