To think people who work from home don’t understand this?! And they’re paid more usually

I think resentment is a bit strange over this as all jobs are and have always been different. Some let you work your own hours, some are paid more, some give you a car, some give you more than the standard annual leave, some have flexi, some you barely have any work in the first place and spend your day reading the news, some are physical, some are sedentary, some require travelling around the country, some require travelling to other countries.

I agree about the trade-offs - working from home means sometimes it feels like you never really leave work. You end up 'just finishing this' and before you know it you've worked another two hours. Some people get that back, some don't, but sometimes not have that very clear line of leaving work is draining.

100% this! Covid did create this wfh vs people who can't wfh (because the nature of their job just doesn't allow it - tree surgeons, police, cleaners, carers etc) culture. The ones who wfh can unload/load the dishwasher, walk the dog, take kids to/ from school, peg out the washing etc whereas those who still have to work in the real world have to do all those things around their ft jobs. This inevitably causes resentment. It is unfair but I guess it's the nature of the job one chooses to do. I'm SE so can "gallavant" if I want to - that's why I'm SE! But it's all swings and roundabouts in any job - those wfh-ers might envy the OP as she has clear, defined working hours, gets to spend time with other people etc Because so many wfh-ers take the mick employers are making them come back to work now anyway.
Maybe look for the positives in your current job role OP, or consider going pt if you want a better work/life balance - appreciate this will mean a pay cut but you just need to assess your priorities.

The grass is always greener...

I worked from home for four years and I left that job specifically to return to an office based role.

From the outside, the flexibility to do the school run, or go to a lunch time gym class, probably made it look as though I had a lot of free time, and there were definitely positives aspects. However, I did feel like I was living at work, without a clear start and end to my day. I worked many more hours than I was paid for and the job took over my life. Working out of the house gave me back my work / life boundaries.

Things are not as they seem from the outside. You are only seeing it from one perspective and the problem with envy, is that you filter out all the negatives, viewing the positives in isolation.

Maybe she does get it? I’m in a situation much like your friend’s, and I absolutely understand I’m lucky to have this flexibility. That doesn’t change the situation though. Different professions have different requirements 🤷‍♀️

Such a weird post. I work 2 days at home, 2 days in the office. I am not paid to work on a Monday but inevitably work 5 days in 4. I record all my time (lawyer) so I know this for a fact. Yes I went to the dentist at 9.30 the other morning, but I was also working at 11pm earlier in the week and can never telly switch off. No gallivanting over here - oh and my hairdresser is closed on my non working day, so that gets done in the weekend!

Exactly, just because they are flexible, it doesn’t mean they are not working. It just means they don’t have meetings at a certain time. I WFH and like another poster, am basically available 8am until 10pm, and always contactable on weekends and when I’m on holiday. So I don’t feel at all guilty about ‘gallivanting about’ to yoga or a hair appointment during the day.

I totally gallivant during the day when I WFH.

Oooooh this a 🎣 10/10

Well done OP, well done! 👏

On the days I work from home I start an hour early, finish an hour late, and take 15 mins to make my lunch but eat it while working. I have meetings nearly all day, I certainly cant galavant! It is unfair if your friends have cushy wfh jobs where they can do whatever they like, and they need to understand your job isn't like that. But certainly not all wfh or hybrid jobs are that flexible!

It doesn't just depend on the job or industry or position but the workload in any given day.

I WFH and this week alone I've had one day where I was at my desk working before 7am, and barely stopped for breath until 7pm. I've also had one day (today) where I gallivanted: did some token admin at 7am, went for a run, met a friend for a local quick lunch and glass of wine, came back and finished off my easy tasks in about half an hour. Swings and roundabouts.

If I worked in an office the first of those days would have been very stressful as there wouldn't have been enough time to get everything done, or I'd have had to stay late - if I have to work til 7pm, doing it at home means at least I can immediately flop on the sofa and DP has already made dinner without having to commute. And the second of those days would have been annoying and pointless with so little to do.

Sometimes the other kids will have nicer toys.

Sometimes you’ll only think they do.

Either way, you’ll probably wanna have a little grow up.

When I work from home I use my lunch break for medical, dental, hair etc appointments. When I worked full time in an office I also went in lunch time, or I asked for permission to adjust my hours so I could arrive later/leave early to attend. If it was medical or dental I wouldn’t have to make the time up, whereas I do it all in my own time when wfh.

I work from home, the only benefit I've had in 8 years is being able to do school run, but thats in lieu of a lunch break most days.

You are being massively unreasonable.

I sometimes work from home and all personal appointments are on annual leave days.

I have a senior role with flexibility, partly WFH. The flipside is that overall I actually work significantly more hours than I’m paid for. I might be able to get to the bank in the day but then I’ll be catching up on emails or writing up reports for most of the evening instead. I also often have to respond to incidents at very short notice, including at weekends.

It’s easy to judge from the outside and think people have it better than you but it’s often not the reality.

It’s not about seniority, it’s flexibility of the tram. I’m B3 NHS, so very far from senior and can work from home. I was the last in my team to get a laptop, it was only in December 2020. I was in the office all through until then. I rarely do WFH but being able when needed to do so is invaluable. I consider myself so very lucky at my banding and don’t take it for granted. Yeah, people do take the piss with it but they get found out. Easy to tell those who do.

Changed my answer when I saw this. It isnt really a wfh issue that much in that even wfh, if people have inflexible employers they cant go off and get hair done for example any more than you can - they would be restricted to their lunch break like you. If people wfh and have flexible employers then yes, they can do more appointments etc but do still need to make that time up. If someone is office based but can flexibly work they can do that too - the difference is really the commute.

When I was younger I once worked somewhere 5min from home. I had rigid hours and no flex but had way more ability to do things than some friends.

It entirely depends where you live and work. My office is nearer for most of my appointments than my house. I do a mix of home and office days. My flexibility is governed by what's in my calendar on any given day but if I don't have meetings or other events, it doesn't matter when I take my lunch break.

I WFH. I get an hours lunch break and will pop to the shops etc. my lunch hour isn’t a set time so I’ll go to the dentist but use it as my lunch break as only down the road anyway. Anything that takes longer like hairdressers, I’ll go at the weekend. I have a hospital appointment on Monday, I’m taking the day off as leave as I don’t know how long I’ll be. Not everyone is like your friend. And you if you don’t like your monday-Friday office working, then change jobs.

I voted you're being unreasonable because I've worked from home a LOT and have never had any expectations about other people's availability other than what they have told me themselves.
I also have not usually worked flexibly while WFH, I still had to log in at the right time and be available for the whole day, with no distractions, unless my manager had agreed I could shift some hours for e.g. a doctor's appointment.

Nah this is rubbish. Your friend’s experience is not universal. In my work world, wfh means being chained to the desk all day and having less rather than more opportunities to take a break because people assume and expect you to be available at all times.

Because presumably she's still doing her job to the satisfaction of her employer even with working as flexibly as she does? Same with me really, I work from home a lot and very often run errands and get non-work stuff done during the day. So long as I do get my work stuff done on time nobody cares. For other people with different jobs it may be different. Moaning about it makes no more sense than a fireman moaning that I don't have to wear a big heavy coat and wellies while working so why should they.

I would say this is def a friend issue and not generic to working from home. My husband works from home and there are two benefits: the heating is on for me and the kids getting in and he doesn't take up bathroom time getting ready in the morning. He might do a quick hoover round at lunch time but certainly not every day.
I can't work from home in my job. I have fixed annual leave too (teacher) so can't even take a day off when I really can't face work. It is what it is. 🤷🏻‍♀️

It completely depends on the job. Both my partner and I work from home in very different industries. I’m lucky that my job is very flexible, and much like your friend, I can go to appointments during the day without needing to take time off. I always let my boss and team know, and will catch up later in the day or evening.

My partner absolutely can’t do that. His job monitors his computer and they have some kind of tracker thing that shows if his mouse hasn’t been moved in 5 minutes. He needs to take leave for appointments.

So, YABU to think that wfh means an easy life and that we’re all just sitting around watching Netflix.

Both my partner and I work a lot more hours than our contract requires sometimes. Him because he seems to be one of the few competent people on his team, so often picks up the workload of others, but he also feels grateful that he can wfh, so he sees it as a trade off.

I work with a great team who all pull their weight, but I work longer sometimes just because I want to get things done or I want to help with a project. I’m happy to do it because I love my job and I fully appreciate how lucky I am to have a boss that allows me the flexibility I have, so I see it as give and take.

Presumably since you’re senior you can afford to have the heating on in your home office unlike us plebs who are working from home under three blankets!