To have snapped and pissed off DH in front of his parents

Have he tried to contact you/ apologize again today?

He’s a man child I would have LTB long ago.

Well they obviously suspected this was the case and probably proud you stood up for yourself. Your dh sounds like a dick. Why would he be belittling your contributions and acheivements just to make himself look good.

And sulking is pathetic.

This, really. What he has been doing is abuse. There is no way you should have put up with it for so long - but I’m guessing it has crept up on you by his starting with a few seemingly benign put-downs a few years ago until it escalated to the extreme level of negging this week.

I’d be insisting HE go to counselling as he has obvious self esteem issues, and I’d probably insist he moves out until he has changed his attitude/behaviour (ie probably permanently).

Fucking good for you!!!

I wouldn’t be happy with his half arsed text apology.
It’s not as if this is a one off that has came out of the blue, this has been going on for many years. He clearly resents your success massively to put you down like that. God knows how many other people he diminishes you to.
It would be the end for me. He’s jealous and nasty.

He’s a cunt.

Plain and simple.
He’s jealous and feels threatened by your success.
His dad sounds great.

Let him sulk. It would be a cold day in hell before I’d apologise or make the first move.

It's so weird when people do that.

I presume the OP's 'cousin' has been able to manage a successful career, but is not capable of registering with Mumsnet herself!

The expectations and norms of our parents and their generation can be odd.

My DW's uncle and aunt were such. Not happy that their DIL earned more than their DS.

Thought that I must be a HoD not 'just' a teacher and that my DW earned more than me - I don't think they 'got her job.

My Dad never quite got it that my DW earned more than me - partly because he didn't understand her job (or wanted to) - educational consultant. But that's a whole different story.

The difference I never pretended she only had a little job/earned less than me/put on a show.

He's got to eat quite a lot of humble pie - and not put on a show when visiting.

I bet 'D'H is sorry. I imagine right now his comfy life is flashing before his eyes. It would be interesting if his parents have been in contact with him since. He must be realising that his DF will be seeing him differently now which will be a very hard pill to swallow.

We are in a similar situation with my salary being many times DH's. The difference is that my DH is very aware that his comfy life is far beyond anything his salary could fund.

OP I'm really puzzled. You used this MN account to post a completely different scenario about your life (all very much in the first person) and when challenged here said you were posting on behalf of your cousin.
Was she with you dictating when you were posting? Your breadth of knowledge in that thread about your cousin's working conditions, her interview, and the inner workings of the civil service is amazingly detailed.

That’s awful. I AM PROUD OF YOU. Your spouse should be your biggest supporter. Obviously he feels embarrassed in front of his parents but he’s made himself look even worse

I really don't understand why you've allowed this to go on for so long. He must have a wide range of amazing qualities, because I'd have kicked the twat into touch quite some time ago.

Well done you!!!!!! Let him stew in his self pity. Go out and have some of your own fun with your hard earned cash. What a prick. Glad his dad responded like he did. X

People do inherit houses and may need to do some work before selling.
Op has mentioned stripping wallpaper.

Me and my siblings have inherited a tiny flat in a deprived area, is that a stealth boast?

How can you have any genuine respect for such a petty, insecure liar?

I think you need counselling on your own.
Why have you tolerated this for so long?
Not normal at all IMO.

He behaved horribly, really horribly.

But:
As a top negotiator you surely have the skills to raise things and deal with them before you reach snapping point?
Swearing was OTT - and though his parents model is probably behind your H's twattish behaviour, it wasn't their fault and they didn;t need to be subjected to your snapping.

Let him do the thinking he has agreed he needs to do.

Listen to what he has to say, be clear calm and direct about how he makes you feel when he does that and what you expect .

I say this because if you divorce he'll walk off with half your pension, savings and half the Sussex house.

So better to let him rehabilitate himself.

It's good his parents now know more about your marriage - they should have known before (unless you both choose to be 100% private) - not details of salary necessarily, but years of 'isn't it great, JoanJett got promotion / I am preoccupied atm, I am off to Paris to negotiate a huge deal' etc. He behaved like a twat, you let it slide and played along.

So now is a new beginning.

IF he really does do his thinking.

Well done for standing up for yourself OP. Only a small man feels the need to put his wife down at all, let alone in front of his parents. An in person apology to you and to his parents for lying to them is definitely needed.

Well that response was deleted so quickly I didn’t have the chance to read it LOL

Hopefully you won't be making it your mission to drive her away, as has happened to other women here.

Good on you.