To have snapped and pissed off DH in front of his parents

Bravo OP Bravo 👏

How great that his Father supported you. I suspect he is ashamed by his sons arrogance.

Woah, definitely not unreasonable!

You could not be less unreasonable.

Your DH can FUCK RIGHT OFF.

I absolutely loathe men like this. If it were my marriage, I’d kick his pathetic, cock-lodging arse out of my house.

I think you did rather well not to punch him tbh.

I don’t think you’re angry enough to be honest OP. You need to shout this from the rooftops. The absolute audacity of him to basically manipulate and lie to everyone and manufacture this pseudo reality is abusive as far as I’m concerned. I bet he has no problem spending the money your “little job” brings in?

This is abuse.

How can you stand to be married to such a dick. It's not your fault he's one of life's under achievers - he needs to deal with it.

Good for you!

Your h sounds like he resents your success. Putting you down all the time is really horrible. And sulking about it?? He’s a tit.

What do you get out of the relationship? Do you love him?

That’d be a death knell for me tbh

How the hell have you put up with this without him being under the patio?

How ever have you put up with that long term patronising shit from your DH? You don't say how long you've been together...
i think you were absolutely right to deal with his negging the way you did, but I'd wonder how your DH/your marriage will get over that. You well and truly blew his cover as the great Big Man he wanted to portray himself as to his parents and I don't blame you for one minute, I'm glad your FIL verified that with you before he left. He no doubt knows what he's really like though. Your DH is an idiot and as the main breadwinner for many years, I don't know how you've put up with him being like that.

I think to make himself out to be some kind of alpha male like his Dad.
Just because a man earns the only wage while his wife rears the children (especially during the 50s and 60s) doesn't automatically make the man an alpha male. There are many stories of henpecked men ;)

Stop confusing alphas with dick heads. Yours is the latter. What other demeaning and belittling crap does he pull?

This utter cock would be getting his divorce papers if he was my husband 😉

Good on you. I'm proud of you too.

Your husband is a dick. YABU to have put up with it for so long.

Honestly, I'd sit tight and wait for DH to apologise. If he doesn't, it tells you everything you need to know.

You appear to have just acquired an ally in the shape of your FIL.
Excellent work, your spiny DH had it coming.

Is he a bit stupid? Those alpha male types are usually idiots.

Good on his dad though, with what he said on the way out. Maybe his parents have moved on with the times more than he realises and don’t actually care about the alpha male breadwinner and the stay at home wife with a little side job. Maybe he’s been making them a bit uncomfortable or they’ve actually felt bad for you with the way he speaks about you, like you’re stupid and dim and need him to keep you afloat.

I’d be divorcing him though. What about a man like that attracts you? He’s a misogynist, and he’s worse because you earn more so he has to be really vocal to keep himself as the big man. Do you have children? Would you want your daughter to have a dad who speak like that about women? It’s all so bad, and not attractive and cannot possible make for a happy, mutually respectful marriage where you are proud of one another.

I'm surprised you lasted so long without snapping, OP! Why have you let him put you down for so long? Insulting, belittling, humiliating and trying to make your partner feel small is NOT "a joke". It's not the behaviour of someone who loves you.

It's also possible that, although his family may have had a more 'traditional' set up, his parents aren't actually the sexist twats your DH is. Good on his dad for congratulating you and being proud of you. (Although disappointing that both his parents have apparently sat silent for years while their son belittled you in front of them. I'd be deeply ashamed of him if I were them.)

I wouldn't apologise either, if I were you. What is he expecting you to apologise for? Telling the truth? Finally popping his bubble of lies?

He feels less of a man because you earn more. I would have more subtly told his parents you earn more but I do understand why you snapped.

He shouldn’t be putting you down and making you feel stupid - that’s a bit abusive.

His fragile masculine ego not wanting his parents to know you are the bigger earner is not great, but okay. But him putting you down like that is absolutely outrageous. It is his fault if he is now feeling embarrassed.

I cannot believe he said that about you, that is awful.

Well done to FIL

HAHAHAHAHAHA

This is the best thing I've ever heard.

His dad taking you aside is the icing on the cake.

I'm proud of you too! You've made my day TBH.

Next time they come round you’ll have to ask your DH in front of them when he’s going to get himself a ‘little job’ to help you out a bit.

'but his Dad did ask me, as he was leaving, if it was true. I said it was, and he just said, good on you, I’m proud of you.'

Bloody hell, that really screams to me that his dad thinks your DH speaks to you like shit, doesnt it.

Can I ask.. the only men ive met who are wound up in the idea of 'being a man' who behave this way are themselves not very bright. They might be practical. They might be good at numbers. But they have a deep yawning insecurity and arent bright enough to have figured out that the idea of 'man smart and bring money' is bollocks. And he's also fucking horrible to you. So... why are you with him? Why do you think you didnt kick him to the curb the first sign of this, whats happened in your past that you feel like you need to stay with a man who talks to you like shit?