To have snapped and pissed off DH in front of his parents

I’m sure his parents know what she does but not how much she earns. I mean do your in-laws know your respective salaries. And most people can’t guess someone’s salary unless in the industry and even then difficult.

It's very telling that his portrayal of you changed as you earned more - he's threatened by it and takes that out on you in front of his parents as he, rightly for a long time, assumed you wouldn't bite back.

It sounds like he's nothing like his dad, despite his efforts. It sounds like his parents have a tradition but respectful relationship with each other.

Your FIL was clearly not impressed by his son

Well done. Probably should have been done a long time ago.

Your husband has issues with you being the breadwinner. You probably need a good heart to heart to clear the air or it'll eat away. But for now I'd let the daft twat sulk. If you want to stay with him that is.

I can’t beleive he made up shit about you like the taxi, So straight out lied, then called you not very bright. It’s so utterly offensive. And now he’s sulking.

i wonder if he’s that misogynistic in the work place. Would explain why his career didn’t take off. I’d bet good money at homes not the only place he lives in this alternate reality.

His parents are probably embarrassed by how he speaks to you.

I'm not sure if his traditional upbringing has anything to do with this. Any decent man who is a breadwinner and fully supports a wife respects what she does. I know some older men in my family often comment on how their wives are the clever ones behind the scenes and they would be lost without them. Demeaning you and implying you are stupid has nothing to do with whether you work or not because it's irrelevant. He is simply a man that is trying to put you down. I'm surprised you let him imply these things historically without correcting him.

Send him back to mummy and daddy.

He has no business being in a relationship with a grown woman.

Well done OP! I am literally applauding you over here.

What on earth can your DH say he has the right to be annoyed about, aside from being caught out as a lying idiot.

You’re amazing!!!!! Love it!

Your hubby has massive issues no idea why he thinks his parents would care who earns what!

He puts you down to make himself feel good.

That's literally the opposite of what you need in a partner. Please try really.hard to think about that. He doesn't see you as a team at all.

I am always doubtful about these types of threads unless of course your husband has some sort of delusional personality problem, is this behaviour new? Has he acted like this before and got away with it? How long are you married? How has his parents no idea about what you do? Do you work for the same company?

He builds himself up by putting you down. That's a problem that needs to be addressed.

The apology would have to be huge and last for a very long time and the behaviour would have to stop and never come back. And when his parents weren't around he would have to have been great company and a great lover up to this point.

And even then I'm not quite sure I could get over this one, since you obviously wouldn't have any trouble supporting yourself if you split up.

I hope things work out well for you.

Wow I would tear my partner a new one if he did that. What he needs to do next is apologise to you and fucking stop it.

I’m actually gobsmacked that he said that about to anyone. Let alone in front of you. That is more than playing it up that just being insulting.

blurting it out probably wasn’t the best but needs must. The charade was stupid and has gone on for far too long. Just be yourselves I’d apologise for swearing and shouting. Not for telling the truth.

he needs to get a backbone and not be ashamed that you’re accomplished he should be bloody proud.

His parents must be horrified.

Can you imagine running a "traditional" household, where presumably his parents actually respect eachothers contributions, only to watch your son repeatedly putting down his wife when she is both the main breadwinner and presumably runs the household, while he perpetuates a myth that it's a similar set up to his own upbringing?

But I'm with you and his dad, good on you. And BTW, he wasn't just asking good on you for your salary, he was saying good on you for standing up for yourself and telling his son off for his poor behaviour.

Why do these dickhead men sometimes have such nice parents!? The kind yous love as inlaws if only you didn't have to marry their twatty offspring.

Good for you. What an absolute prick. I hope he feels as embarrassed as hell and I like the way his dad said he was proud of you. What a silly little man, that would give me the right ick.

Well your DH doesn't seem to have got his misogyny from his dad, who sounds lovely. I find this attitude very odd, DP would merrily say I was the higher earner, amd has, several times. My mum was always the higher earner, and my dad facilitated that by staying at home with us and some freelance stuff. He was proud of her. So it's an alien attitude to me.

Good on you.

DH embarrassed himself and he knows it. His parents know it too. I suspect they have been unhappy with how he talks about you in company, but they didn't feel it was their place to say anything.

I'm pleased that FIL said he was proud of you. I hope that made you feel a bit better. He's aware that it should have been his son saying that, I daresay.

Your DH has a massive self esteem problem and his attitude is totally misogynist. I would be gutted if my partner in life thought about me like that.

He needs a major attitude adjustment.

Do not apologise.

What a mess, OP. What does the future look like to you? Would he go if you asked him to?

I think so too

Ok you’ve made your stance, don’t back down now and don’t apologise. He owes you an apology. Make sure he knows thay every single time he does it from now on, you will correct people.

i earn more than double my husband, he is a high earner in his own right, we also used to earn the same. However he says things like oh no, it’s not me, she’s the main bread winner I’m just along for the ride, and words to that effect. Say if someone comments on our standard of living, or if workmen are here he always corrects if someone assumes and is proud of me. I am the one who downplays it.

and that’s how ir should be, I can’t imagine a scenario he made out I was thick to anyone, never mind family.

so stick to it now, don’t back down, he owes you an apology for denigrating you’ all these years, and make sure he knows it’s the last time as from now on you fight fire with fire if he can’t respect you publicly.

You have let them do this for a while? Let his parents and who else think you don’t earn a good salary, you’re professional and successful ?

Why did you let it happen?

Your h is a knob.