To have snapped and pissed off DH in front of his parents

I think I love you

I’m confused why his parents have assumed this about you and have never actually questioned what you do before. Also baffled by the fact you’ve let this go on for so many years before you snapped! Your H sounds like a jealous prick.

He can certainly fuck off. I hope he is good for something.

“But you can’t help being clumsy and not very bright, can you? You have other qualities!”

Did he actually fucking say that??

ETA: Sorry, I see someone else had the exact same reaction and you answered.

My God. Insecure doesn't even begin to cover it. Ironically, as well as being mean spirited, shitty and disrespectful, it's also just so... unmanly!

Well done you. There is a running joke in my DH and my family that I’m a bit ditzy/clumsy - and I’m okay with it only because they know I’m a member of Mensa, better educated and earn 3x what he does. It’s a joke that doesn’t belittle me because we all know the truth.

I would be fuming if he tried to belittle me without anyone knowing the reality.

Sounds to me like he can't/won't acknowledge that you are where you are, being the higher earner and he's tryng to convince himself that he's still the bread winner.

You earn the big money but chose not to say anything. Now he's been shown up you will be resented. Expect more sniping.

Can you imagine what he says about you behind your back ?

Sometimes I’ve been the higher earner and sometimes my DH has.
It doesn’t matter at the end of the day. We’re a partnership and celebrate each others wins. That’s how it should be.

Ypur DH sounds insecure. I just can’t understand why you let him treat you this way. Or, why his Parents didn’t tell him to stop belittling you??

What his defence when you argued about it afterwards?

I'd want to leave him tbh.

He's clearly an insecure little man, threatened by your success and desperateto put you down to make himself look better. Why would you stay with someone like that?

OP, he is a very nasty piece of work, a bully and emotionally abusive.

You are in an abusive marriage.

Why on earth are you accepting being spoken to about/like that?

Do you have self esteem issues, because it is really hard to fathom any woman with a scrap of self respect, irrespective of what career they have, accepting being denigrated like that.

You do realise he doesn't love you, or like you that much.

Wake up to your reality, before it's too late.
Get legal advice and get rid.

OP any normal, loving husband would be proud of you for doing so well, and would be encouraging and supportive. The fact he's made you out to be some kind of simpleton and is happy to make up lies about you even while you are there is honestly just awful, degrading and the opposite of someone who cares about you. Imagine what he says about you when you AREN'T there? Does he do the same with friends?

I can understand someone possibly feeling emasculated or whatever in a traditional sense - but that doesn't make this ok. At all.

It sounds like he's embarrassed about being a lower earner than his wife, so he's tearing you down instead of actually doing something about it.

I would be stipulating that for the marriage to continue, he would need to sit down with you and his parents and tell the truth, and explain why he's been lying all this time to them. Maybe their attitude towards you from then on (positive and encouraging, by the sounds of his dad's comment) will rub off on him.

He's an insecure knobhead who's obviously shown his true colours.glad your fil sounds decent though.

This is going to be a real test, isn't it? If your husband has a grain of sense, he'll apologise at some length, acknowledge that he was a total arsehole and fool, and promise faithfully that he will never do anything like this again. If he dares to continue to try to blame you, he's asking for that divorce.

You’re married to an insecure bully. Why
on earth did it take you so long to finally snap at this bellend and expose his lies? Not meant to sound judgmental I’m just truly curious.

Btw, I earn less than half what my husband earns in a low skilled job. I would never, ever allow him to speak to me or about me like that. He wouldn’t anyway tbf.

Nip it in the bud now and don’t be polite about it. He doesn’t get to undermine your success and if he can’t be proud of you then your marriage is over imo. He’s deliberately undermining you in front of his parents to make himself feel bigger and patting your arm like a child is humiliating. His silence is his way of punishing you to make you feel guilty and it’s not ok for him to play the wounded little soldier. Sorry, but he doesn’t sound like he respects you, if he can’t be proud of you in front of his parents that’s a serious issue and he really needs to face up to his insecurities.

I hope you get it sorted but please, don’t let him slither out of owning his terrible behaviour.

Als came to ask if you have children?
man’s you have two hours so can you separate easily?

You go girl!! How bloody dare he speak about you like that. Aside from that, you do have a husband problem and he should absolutely face the music and stop belittling you just because his little ego can’t take it that hes with a highly capable woman who happens to outward him.

He sounds like a red pill incel which, as a married man he shouldn't be, but he is perhaps learning their rhetoric and disrespect of women.

I am proud of you too, and he deserved every word that you said and more. Don't you fucking well dare apologise! If it were me I'd have him and I visit his parents again and he can explain, in front of you, how important your job is and that it is him accompanying you to Paris not the other way around. That he made up the purse and taxi story, and that you are ditsy. How very dare he be so disrespectful towards his own wife!! I bet he doesn't see his father doing that towards his mother.

It seems like it's always flacid little men who are "only joking" and I am so, so beyond tired of that being used to excuse themselves of any responsibility to act with even a basic level of respect towards the women that they apparently love. It's not a joke if it's not funny, you utter crusty little shit stain. You are seriously punching up for your wife, she does not need you and you will lose her if you continue to act with such utter conetmpt for her. Fucking well wise up, sharpish!!

The out-earning comes with being COO, rather than the CEO's PA (as her D(ickhead) H has insinuated. It was absolutely right that OP pointed out how much she earns, given that it's tied to her very senior role!

Oh yes that age old joke of calling one of the most important people in your life a simpleton.

This is contempt and jealousy. If you stay I'd mention it constantly to him that you earn so much more but he can't help that as he has "other qualities". See how he likes it

How dare he!

It sounds like his self esteem is in his boots. Despite this there is no excuse to belittle you in front of his parents. I agree you need to iron this out once & for all & to get him to admit he is envious of your situation as a higher earner. If his behaviour doesn't change the decision is yours.