To have snapped and pissed off DH in front of his parents

If he was my DH I would have twatted him before now.

I was going to say that perhaps you should have mentioned it to him in private first, but if you've told him before then he deserves everything he got. Do you have kids? He sounds like a dick. He needs some therapy to deal with his feelings of inadequacy and if you still want to remain married, you could do with some couples counselling.

I'd be so ashamed of my son if he spoke like that to his wife regardless of her earnings. I bet his parents felt the same.

What a prick.

I would struggle to come back from this.

It's the kind of thing you look back on and think "yes, that's the moment I knew I was done."

What an absolute, fucking idiot.

Edited for typo

Even If the OP was the lower earner, even if she was a PA it wouldn’t be acceptable for her husband to speak to her that way. His lies are just the rotten cherry on top of all his disrespect.

My DH is now the higher earner. He’s proud of what I do and praises me to other people just as he did when I was the higher earner.

He was proud of me and praised me to other people when I was a SAHM and earned no money at all.

Your spouse is meant to be your best cheerleader. They aren’t meant to humiliate you and bring you down.

I’m so sorry OP. 💐

You sound amazing and good for you @JoanJettsBlackheads

Don't ever apologise - he should be crawling along the ground eating shit. His words are bloody unforgiveable!!!!

Me too

Good for you, I am by no means the breadwinner but work full time, contribute and don't do too badly but dh would never behave like that. Time for a chat once he cools down and make it clear to him that this doesn't continue and if he starts again in front of people you will be putting him and everyone else straight.

It sounds like you are the woman his dad wishes he had married (not literally of course) 😂

In London, your husband would be what we call a ‘dickhead’

it’s used worldwide but in this sense it’s like an absolute twat. Like everyone thinks he’s a twat and is laughing whilst he tries to play the big man

I would suspect he and his dad don’t have a good relationship and he’s desperate to impress him. Until he changes, he never will

leave him x

I can't believe you are still with such a dick head, to be honest.

Who speaks to the woman they love like this?

I would suggest a trial separation and he can think about never visiting the house in the country again, because he'll have his own house, on his own.

Do you also work together? I couldn’t be married to a twat like him never mind also working with him.

And FYI OP, if you were the CEO, you'd "only"

• be the face of the company
• not actually do or understand the work
• have got it because there were many candidates or they wanted a woman

There will always be a reason to undermine your success to prop up his image. He is a misogynist.

There's nothing more to it. It's like that scene in Legally Blonde "I'm never going to be good enough for you, am I?"

You won't be. Because he has to be better. If you had a little job, he'd still put you down because the kind of misogynistic man he is.

Unfortunately he isn’t proud of your success, or appreciative of what you provide as a result of it, but hates you for it (he’ll still avail himself to the benefits of it, however)

He’s insecure, and is trying to emotionally undermine you lest you get any ideas above what he perceives to be your station. He wants you to feel bad about yourself, and he wants you to fail. Your biggest enemy is your husband.

I hate to say it, but when I read about behaviour like this it puts my own gripes with my DH into major perspective! He champions me at every turn, and he's proud of me, and he tells other poeple he is proud of me.

Fuck that. He wouldn’t say one thing ever about me again.

Christ I would be divorcing him. Fuck that

Well that'll teach him won't it? Good on you op (and good on his Dad!). Maybe not as traditional as he thinks they are.

Why the hell are you married to that mess?

How? She’s been dealing with this for 10 years. Silently sitting there smiling away as he belittles her and insults her… and she just took it. This is a sad thread, not uplifting or empowering. Only sad.

Wow.

He is something else.

Seriously Op why have you put up with it.
Him speaking in derogatory terms and minimising your role is horrible. You don’t speak about anyone like that let alone someone you are supposed to love and be in a partnership with.
I personally couldn’t be with a man like that.
If you still want to be married to him then frank conversation. He stops the jibes and undermining now or there’s no future.
He should be proud of your accomplishments.
Your FIL sounds lovely in contrast.

You are magnificent. Most uplifting thread I've read for weeks!

This is appalling OP. You surely can't stay in this marriage? Apart from being a sexist pig, he sounds thick as shit. I suspect his parents, or at least his Dad, knows him only too well. No, just no. This is really, really bad.

I'm not sure I could forget or forgive this, and that would destroy the marriage.

He sounds like he has deep problems, and instead of owning up to them he's decided to squish you.

Agree I don’t understand why rhe parents are being blamed by some posters, nothing suggests they support his behaviour or raised him like this.