6 year old doesn't want to move- but it might be for the best?

We moved from England to Wales when I was 7.

I had a large group of friends in my previous school, was outgoing, chatty. That changed massively when we moved. I never really managed to find "my people" again in my new school, it took until sixth form, so 9ish years. I became much more introverted as a result.

Obviously I can't say life would have been better if we hadn't moved, as noone knows that, but moving definitely had a massive impact on me.

If your son is happy and settled where he is, I'd put some significant thought into whether moving is something you really need to do.

Move !
we moved from the UK with my 9y 5y and 4m old last year. When initially told we were moving they weren’t keen. It’s a big change from all they know.
fast forward a year and the children have settled so well and are thriving!
good luck

It really does read that none of you actually want to move. I get that you would like to be nearer your parents, and of course they would like you nearer, but at what cost if you all resent it a few months in

It seems like there's more of an issue than asking a 6yo if you aren't even sure yourself if you want to move. Honestly I wouldn't move back just to be with your parents if you've built a life for yourself here.

What does your DH think?

You don't ask his opinion

He's 6

I moved to the UK when I was 7 and even though I was excited it was a brutal upheaval and took me a long time to adjust. The schools, the food, the weather, different language and social rules. I wanted to go back "home" for a while.

I think you shouldn't have asked his opinion about it and presented it as a given fact because now it looks like his opinion doesn't matter - but it's too late now.

I would also urge you to think carefully about whether you want to move there or feel obligated. What would happen if your mother suddenly died? Would you still move? I am sorry to be morbid but these are things that need to be considered.

Are there good job opportunities? Presumably you moved to the UK for a reason and you decided to have a child here and didn't move back when he was too little to have an opinion. It's important to ask yourself why.

Your employer allows you to work abroad for 3 months of the year, but would they allow a permanent move, or would they need to set up an office in that country and therefore it wouldn't be worth it for them?

At the risk of sounding harsh, your parents won't be around forever, and moving country is a huge decision. Take your child out of the equation. A six year old's opinion isn't part of the decision. He will adapt either way.

Consider where you want to be after your parents are gone. Would you move back at that point?

On the other hand, I can see many arguments in favour of being near your parents while they are still alive. How easy is it to visit them now? How many times a year do you visit?

I'm on the same country as mine and only visit 3-4 times a year. Moving closer to them would not suit me at all. But in an emergency I could be there in six hours.

A very tough choice. Good luck.

How old and well are your parents? If and when they pass, would you be looking to move back? Eg more disruption.

I think if you’re all happy here, you should stay. Moving purely for two people is a big risk when you have a child already settled and doing well. What if you’re not happy there?

A six year old doesn't have the mental capacity to weight this decision. The adults need to decide what's best for everyone!

I wouldn’t move JUST for my parents. There’d have to other compelling reasons.
You’re setting yourself up for resentment all round.

Are you the poster considering returning to Austria? Sorry if it is not you

Im not sure how moving solely for your parents in a great idea?
How poorly are they? They might not be around for long, then you’ve uprooted everyone for no reason.
spending 3 months there is already a good compromise I feel

He's 6

Of course it's going to be scary for him but he'll find new friends etc.

Better now than when he's older and disrupting his education

Are you planning a move that you don’t want? Moving for your parents feels a very bad idea to me.

He's 6 , you don't ask him you tell him what's happening.

I wouldn't be letting a 6 year old dictate such a thing. It's entirely up to you

He's six - you shouldn't have even asked him. It should have been a long discussion with your partner, then they can be told once it's final.

At 6 he doesn’t get a say, you tell him what is happening and support/ prepare him for it.

it fair enough he doesn’t want to move, it sounds like you also don’t to some extent. However, you have the ability to assess and determine its for the best, at his age he doesn’t.

6 year olds do not get to make those sorts of decisions.

If it is best for your family you move now!
It would be much harder to move when he gets to high school age.
You are the adult, you make the decisions, this is too 'big' for a young child to understand and he may resent you in later life if you don't go!